If you had a hard 1st pregnancy would you try again?

Question

I had a HORRIBLE 1st pregancy but carried full term and had a pretty healthy baby (has a heart murmur) but otherwise we have been blessed. But because of this I am scared to get pregnant again. How do I get over this and try again?

Answer 1

I am on my fifth pregnancy and two of them were really difficult, although none of them could be classified as easy(I doubt such a thing as an easy pregnancy exists but some people swear they do lol). I never really tried to get over the difficult pregnancy, baby fever hit me like a ton of bricks and I wanted another baby no matter what I had to suffer to get it. My fourth pregnancy was my hardest, but I still took no precautions not to get pregnant again and here I am on #5. I was very apprehensive at first and wasn't sure that I could go through the pregnancy if it was going to be like the fourth. But unfortunately(or fortunately for the baby), for me, once it's in there I have to let it grow(I don't believe in abortion for myself, other people can make their own choice). So here I am 6 months pregnant and it hasn't been as bad as the last so I am finally relaxing. My advice would be to wait until the urge or need for another baby is stronger than your fear of another difficult pregnancy(kind of similar to your need to get the baby out growing stronger than your fear of labor). For me this always happened when the last baby was around 2 years old(hence the two year gap between each of my kids lol). What I kept telling myself during the beginning when it looked like it was going to be exactly the same is that the baby would be worth it. It became my mantra in the weeks I spent worshipping the porcelan god. Of course, I will seriously doubt that in the weeks before and after he's born, I'm sure, but eventually he will definitely be worth it lol. Good Luck

Answer 2

I had a HORRIBLE second and third pregnancies. I got toxemia and had to deliver both babies early so I could get better. They were both healthy but I was on bed rest for about the last 2-3 months of pregnancy. I am 23 weeks along now (#4) and am already having problems. I am totally done having kids after this one. I just figured that if it was meant to be it would be. I know more kids were in our future so I was willing to have 9 months of a hard time for that wonderful baby at the end. Perhaps you just haven't given yourself enough time. I would say just do it. The blessing will be worth the risk. Good luck

Answer 3

I had a difficult first pregnancy and then 3 days of induced labor and almost needed a c-section. Even after all that I got pregnant again and ended up being induced again but the entire labor lasted 19 hours (8 hours of being induced). My daughter is 3 and my son is 10 months and I would like to eventually have more babies. If you get the the point where you think about how happy you were to hold your baby for the first time and don't think about the pain all the time you're probably ready to try again. You could get over it sooner then you think you will. Best of luck.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel - I had hyperemisis (extremem sickness till 16 weeks) - bled continually, was 3cm dialated at 22 weeks and had a cerviacal stitch put in at 24 weeks, from then I had contractions and my membranes ruptured, I contracted Group B strep and finally my son was delivered naturally at 28.5 weeks weighing 2lb 11 oz - with Chronic lung disease, heart murmour, reflux - he is now nearly 4 and you'd never know it though!!!
I am 11 weeks into my 2nd pregnancy which to be honest was a hard decision to make - and already I have had bleeding, and infections with hyperemisis again - I am HIGH RISK but fingers crossed things will go ok

A decision to have a child after a bad pregnancy is a choice only you can make - if you want a child badly - your gonna have to try no matter the consequences - if your still in 2 minds, work that out before you think about trying, you have to be 100% of you will regret it in the end

Answer 5

My first pregnancy was mentally horrible. I was sick all the time and I was stressed out to the max. I came out on the end with a beautiful healthy baby girl. She was totally worth it. Now she is 13 and tells me I am a mean Bi+CH. Well there is always that hormonal thing.
My second pregnancy I was sick but otherwise felt great. Healthy, not stressed out. She was born with a birth defect (no soft spot on her head). Otherwise she is healthy.
I would do it again in a heart beat, IF I got pregnant. I had a tubal with #2... cause I can't afford anymore kids, in dollars nor mental stress wise.

You get over it by realizing what a beautiful baby you have.

Answer 6

I had a terrible pregnancy with pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure and puking from the time i was 2 months til the day i had him.
I ended up having my son via c-section because he was breech (plus cause i had pre-eclampsia) at 35 weeks.
My son is now 5 years old and that above what i written scares me to get pregnant again. I did however get pregnant in 2005 but miscarried but the thought of possibly having a hard second pregnancy is scaring me also. I do not know how to overcome it. I guess anyone will just have to leave it up to chance, really that is all you can do.
Good luck

Answer 7

My first pregnancy was awful. I was so sick and lost so much weight I was miserable. About a year later, I got pregnant with my second daughter and it was just as bad if not worst. I had to quit my job at 18 weeks because I was so sick and I have sciatica and my back hurt me really bad. Now I am pregnant with my third and this pregnancy is alot better. I don't get sick that much, only when I am hungry and although my bad still hurts me and I get bad headaches, this baby is worth anything to me. I will do ANYTHING to make sure I can hold this little baby and care for it for the rest of its life. After you have the baby, you know that it is worth everything you just went through because you have something to show for everything bad that you just went through. Good luck and don't let the fear of a bad pregnancy keep you from having the bundle of joy that is worth more than words can express. Good luck!!

Answer 8

well this is something you and your partner need to discuss. if you both are comfortable with trying to have another baby. i dont really know how you can get over it but you know you could have another healthy baby without a heart murmur. and the 2nd pregnancy could be better than the first. or it could always be worse. weigh out the pros and cons. but if you really are considering getting pregnant again talk to a doctor first. that will help. thats all i can say and good luck.

Answer 9

Hi. I had a horrible first pregnancy followed a year and a half later by another really difficult pregnancy, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to have our 2 sons. They are both such a blessing and the way they look at each other makes brotherly love so magical. I don't mean to sound cheesy..lol..., but it's true.
Good Luck!

Answer 10

I am! I had a terrible 1st pregnancy! went in to pre-term labor @ 4 mo.admitted 5/10 times was on bedrest 'till delivery Still delivered 1 mo early. My boy weighed 4 :14 is all healthy. that was 8 years ago! he is healthy tall and thin! A joy. bodies and over time things change! Hope for the best! I am!