I am unable to tell others when they hurt me ...!! I don't find the answers quickly to react on a situation ...!! I must think of I will say to this person after this person attacks me verbally a few days later ...!! I would like to be able to react immediately and say something in return that the person doesn't continue to hurt me ...!!sometimes, although I am angry in my face, it isn't enough for the person, ..what can I do to learn to react on the spot ...?
2007-01-31 01:57:38 · 7 answers · asked by bobby s 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Stop giving that person permission to hurt you, either by telling him or her to stop, or removing yourself from the situation. That person's hurtful behavior isn't about you; it's about the person who is being hurtful.I am sure he or she is hurtful to many others. Don't let his or her ugliness continue to violate your boundaries.
2007-01-31 02:20:02 · answer #1 · answered by Buffy Summers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That has nothing to do with a mental disability. It has to do with being quick witted. It comes naturally with age. I would guess that you're younger than 25. Reacting to someone's verbal attack just gives their attack more power. You would be better off not to clutter your mind with what you should have said or done. It really isn't important.
2007-01-31 10:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by Surveyor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are talking to an adult....then a simply saying, "ouch", should do it.
If you are dealing with children, then you may need to say, "that was a hurtful thing to say." You need to say it without much emotion.
Hopefully this will open a dialog that you can tell the other person what, exactly, you found hurtful.
Good luck.
2007-01-31 10:08:12 · answer #3 · answered by foxinsox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confrontation can be tough. Start slowly and build up. A good word to start with is "Stop". Just that. That may cause them to ask "stop what?" giving you some extra time to compose your ideas. Do not trade insults with insults. That is a foolish game. if a person cannot respect you, walk away from that person. Demand dignity and you will receive it. But it starts with you treating yourself with dignity first.. I hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-01-31 10:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually unfortunately the way you react to other people results from the way you were raised. if you are raised with a "complex" then even when people are joking with you you take it to heart. if you can't come up with anything on the spot to throw back at them then just inform that person that what they said was rude and your not going to stand for it. also surround yourself with people who aren't going to hurt you. if that's how they are going to treat you then forget them they don't deserve to have a friend like you. you sound like you have a big heart so surround yourself with people who are the same way. i do the same things when my brothers and old friends try to take advantage of me. it took me having to put my foot down and eventually snapping off on everyone for them to realize that i am not a welcome mat. stand up for yourself and what you believe in. it doesn't have to be witty just how you feel.
2007-01-31 10:10:03 · answer #5 · answered by ber-ber21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say something like...
"Are you trying to hurt me?
Are you trying to attack me?
Are you trying to get negative response from me?
This throws the situation back on to them instead of leaving it stew in you!
See how they react to that one!
2007-01-31 10:07:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joe Fox in the movie You've got mail. Say "That's my cue" and walk away. That will give you the time you need to recoup and think things through.
2007-01-31 10:16:47 · answer #7 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋