I married a Filipino women 21 years ago and my brother in law does not work and he is only 54 years old. He has six children and three of his daughters is married and he has three at home yet he can't seem to get a job. We bought him a used van but he could not repair it and now she just sends him money every other month for his food. I know he smokes and gambles (mah jong) but that seems to be the Philippine pass time..what measures could I do to get my brother in law off the dole? my wife and I don't work as I am on social securtiy and a pension. Well i think this is unfair but my wife thinks this is normal..we don't have any kids at home as they are grown and on their own. any ideas?
2007-01-31 00:24:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
depends on why
Here's some for the guys to relate to...
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
2007-01-31 04:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I also married into a Filipino family. I have never heard of the custom of a sister supporting her brother. I have heard of husband coming to the US to work and sending $$ back to their wives in the Philippines but NEVER what you are describing. I have also seen Filipino men with a great sense of pride and humility when it comes to money and an excellent and impressive work ethic. In fact all of the Filipino men I have met work for a living and refuse to take hand-outs because of their pride. Your brother-in-law sounds like a bum.
I hate to say this...but you are being taken advantage of by your wife and her brother. You need to tighten your purse strings and get everyone greedy hands out of it!
2007-01-31 01:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been married quite a long time & I'm sure you love your wife very much & have learned a great deal about her customs over the years.
I doubt very seriously one of those customs is to support a brother who does not work. Take control of the money in your home. Don't let your wife have any. If she has money of her own & wants to send it to her brother let her do without things she needs & wants to support him if that's what she wants to do with her money.
2007-01-31 00:37:56 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you and your wife can't really afford to send money to anyone, you must look after you and your wife, talk to her, custom or not this is America and as such when they move here they should go by your custom. And i agree with the other person who said it was highly doubtful that this was custom to take care of ones brother. Other than that i don't have anything else to add. Except i agree that it is unfair to you and your wife. Good luck
2007-01-31 01:04:18 · answer #4 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's customary. Many times people come to this country to get work to send home money to support their family. Every situation is unique. The question is, do you have the money to spare? Ask her how long she plans to send him money. Set a time limit of a few months or so if you feel she should stop. Tell her you want to think of your own kids and grandkids, and set a trust fund up for them.
2007-01-31 00:49:05 · answer #5 · answered by icecreamrules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
enable her understand how substantial she has been on your existence, in line with threat reminisce approximately some stable cases. She may be too at risk of have a lot of a communication, so take your cues from her. regrettably many adult men "placed on a courageous face" whilst quite they're crumbling interior. now and lower back putting on a courageous face is what helps human beings cope for the period of the main difficult cases, yet over the long term, that's probable no longer powerful. enable him understand what you're prepared to do for him (hear to him, help with stuff around the homestead, or get out and play a around of golfing, etc.) and stick to via with it if he asks. whilst a pal dies, each and every physique *continually* says, "If there is something i will do, enable me understand." yet now and lower back, there only isn't something you're able to do different than enable human beings mourn. each and every physique needs to grieve of their very own way and of their very own time.
2016-11-23 17:07:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the money is sent more for the kids than the lazy dad.
But you cant really be sure the kids get food etc..
It is normal for family to help eachother but there is also a point where we must make them stand on their own & make their own way.
2007-01-31 00:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife go out and visit him! Look first hand, what he's spending your money on.
you'll soon find out if
1) Life is hard out there, poor bloke
2) He truly can't get off his but and get a job
2) His taking the blantant p*ss out of you and your wife
If he is taking the mick, then I advise your show your wife and stop all payments, as you say your on a pension now, and you earn't it not him.
2007-01-31 00:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to ur wife , tell to her that its not her obligation to feed her brother , if always sending money to her brother , her brother will become lazy and bad , almost filipino their heart is big but it is wrong , give ultimatom to ur wife
so that she will wake warn ur wife
2007-01-31 00:33:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
.This very common for the Filipino to send money to their families there. See it all the time.
2007-01-31 00:37:28 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋