I have been married to my dearest husband for 10 years.We are a childless couple. I come from big family. My late mother advised me that having a baby was not an ultimate goal in my marriage and there are many childless couple in the world enjoying their marriage life. Do you think so?
2007-01-31 00:21:55 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Agree with your mother. Marriage, to us, was the ultimate expression of our commitment to each other. Should only have children because you enjoy raising them and see yourselves as their main support for the remainder of your lives. A lifestyle many love. More than a few couples choose not to have their own children. They enjoy being part of friends & relatives children's lives but prefer a unique closeness to each other and the freedom to come and go as they please. Biological instincts and peers often make one reflect on not bearing children but then logic & reason tell you that it wouldn't be to the best interest of yourselves or the children. Some are truly just not suited to the 24hr demands of being parents. No shame in that, actually a compliment to your foresight. There are enough people having children that put no thought into it. Figure one can be a good influence, helper for them. Enjoy your lives the way you feel is best.
2007-01-31 00:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by Quest 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been married to my husband for almost 7 years. He has never wanted children. I am starting to understand that I don't really want children either. I think having children is important to some people, even if they're not married.
Children are not the "ultimate" goal in life. Marriage could be your ultimate goal. Travelling or retiring early. I think many, many people are living an enjoyable life without kids. Sure, there are times when I think I want a baby, but than I think rationally about it and I don't really see myself as that kind of person.
Just enjoy life. If children are in your future, so be it. If not, you have a great marriage and a happy husband and all will be well, also.
2007-01-31 00:26:48 · answer #2 · answered by Laci R 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have 4 brothers and sisters, pretty big family compared to the norm when I was a kid. Anyway everyone in my family except me has kids. I am married to a man that has 4 children from his first marriage and he has no desire to have more (2 grown and 2 living w/their mom). I don't think there is a single thing wrong with anyone that choses not to have kids. If both people in the relationship agree that this is right for them then it is no one else's business what you do. I am completely happy with the choices I have made. Besides if I ever think I want a kid; I just go and hang out at either of my sisters' houses with their kids...those maternal feelings go right away.
2007-01-31 00:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by rla26368 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ultimate goal of marriage is to enjoy the rewards and challenges of a long term relationship. Having a child is not the only goal of life, I have been married 17 years and am still as much in love with her as I was on day one.
That is not to say that having a child is not a great blessing but it was not in the cards, we tried everything under the sun and it did not happen.
So just be good to each other and enjoy your life as much as possible.
2007-01-31 00:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all comes down to individuals - not everyone feels the need to have children to make themselves complete (whereas a lot of married couples who's relationship is failing decide to have a child in the hope that it will bring them closer again, which for me would be a far sadder position to be in!)
If you are happy and content with your life then that is all that matters. Don't feel that you should want to have children to complete you, and never think for a moment that you can't live just as happy a life without having any.
Take care
Lx
2007-01-31 00:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are both happy as you are then I wouldn't go having a baby just because society expects that as the norm!!
I myself have never been naturally maternal and wasn't really bothered about having kids. I was with my partner 7 years before I got pregnant (unintentionally) I had my son (he is 10 now) but never went on to have any more. I probabbly would have never had any at all if I'd had to make the decision to TRY for one.
Kids are tough work, I would stay as you are if you are happy that way. It is a BIG lifestyle change once kids come into the equation!!
Obviously I am not saying I regret having my son, I wouldn't be without him now I do have him, but my life is SO different since having him. If my pregnancy hadn't "accidentally" happened I woulda probably chose to not have any at all.
I'm not one for being big on kids and getting broody. if thats you - stay as you are.
2007-01-31 00:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by SonicSon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course, not everyone wants Children!
There is so much freedom to have without children in the home, you can go out together more, have sex whenever and where ever you want.
I have two Children mind, and though I enjoyed my life with my husband before them, i love it more now! The kids bring so much joy into our marriage. Okay, we can't get down and dirty whenever & where ever we want, we don't get to be spontaneous anymore, everything is more planned out now around the kids.
I always wanted Children, and for me it was a MUST HAVE!!
I don't think I could be happy at all without any children, but I'm sure other bods can.
2007-01-31 00:30:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I COMPLETELY agree with you .....it is a decision that the couples themselves make .....and ONLY the couple ! It's too rude for other people to bud in to ur business!
I never wanted to get married (i'm 28) ....met the love of my life last year and married after 4 months of meeting ! I also never wanted to have children ...but meeting my true souldmate has since changed my mind and thinking !
We are trying soooooo hard to get pregnant and can't - it's so sad ...time is ticking and i want one b4 i'm 30 !
Children are alot of work and non-stop time ....they can be a burden ...but when a woman has children ...they wouldn't have it any other way !!
What you don't have ......you don't miss !!!
All the BEST to you !
2007-01-31 00:44:59 · answer #8 · answered by SARAH♫☼ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think so. My husband of one year but partner of 6 years, have decided that we really don't want kids for another ten years. We find that having children will set us back in our current goals. I do feel that having a child will bring out another part of ourselfs that will create more love for one another. Ultimately, most couples feel that a starting a family is their goal.
2007-01-31 00:28:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can your mother advise you that having a baby is not an ultimate goal in your marriage. That is for you and your husband to decide. As you get older though you will find that you need, especially a daughter, who will make your old age less problematic, even if it is to call and chat with her. And when your neighbors start to bring their grandchildren around you might even get jealous.
2007-01-31 00:26:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋