My husband just started a new job. He is working 15 hours a day, Monday through Saturday and sometimes even Sunday--- sales job. He is trying desperately to learn the ropes and to get ahead. I work full-time as well plus I am almost 6 months pregnant. When hubby gets home around 10pm, he eats something, checks email and goes to sleep. He doesn't touch me or initiate any sexual activity. We have been w/o sex for one month now. What is going on? I thought all men were savages when it came to sex? This situation is driving me nuts.
2007-01-31 00:10:50 · 22 answers · asked by Lucci 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Very much so..Stress is one of the major things that can kill a man's sex drive. You have to find a way to get his mind off of work when he's home with you. Even if it's just for 5-10 mins. You might need to initiate it. Do something that will get his attention, in a reasonable manner. If that doesn't work...just tell him you understand what he's going through and that you're there for him. More than anything a man loves a woman that will respect and honor him through good and bad. And willing to be patient and stick by his side. That will speak volumes to him even though his job may be stressing him out. You have a whole life time to have sex and make love together. Don't add stress to what he's already going through. Just be patient and love him.
2007-01-31 00:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by unknown 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You did not exactly say when he started taking Celexa.... can only assume it was after we moved in together. In general any antidepressant can cause a loss in sex drive. A number of antidepressants work by affecting serotonin levels. Unfortunately getting these levels exactly right or what they might consider normal can be extremely difficult for Doctor. But one important factor is he should never stop taking these without consulting his doctor. It's a little strange that nobody moved in together and have time to be with each other that his sex drive has dropped so quickly. But that's not unheard of.... As you said the sex started to slow down right after you moved in together. I'm wondering if he's feeling more depressed... or more correctly stressful which is leading to depression because now he feels there is an added responsibility of being together all the time. It's difficult and you're in a challenging situation. While I understand you want to be with the person I also understand your frustration... with being with this person. I was with the person who had a bipolar depression. Back and go from wild and crazy (in a good way) to standing in a corner and not talking. Being someone who's not suffering from depression.... being with someone who is can be depressing. You need to go with him to the doctor. Both of the need to explain what's happening. See what the doctor suggests. He may suggest a different medication or different dosage. But it does not sound like the depression is going to go away without medication. This can be an extremely long term battle.... and you've only been living together a year.... you really need to try to solve the but it's not need to look at the alternative that this may not be a good relationship for you. You're already at the frustration level.... and eventually you will break and go out with someone else. Sexual compatibility in any relationship is important and rang out sounds like you're on a 10 and he is on a 1. If you have a follow-up question or a less public one you can e-mail me directly by clicking on my picture and then click on e-mail me through Yahoo Answers in my profile Advice Man
2016-05-23 22:30:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it does. Look at your situation:
He has a new job he is learning.
He is working some serious hours.
He has a little one on the way.
This will cause men to not lose interest in sex, but basically put it on th back burner for a while. I was in the same situation after college. I was the only one working, we had a newborn, the job required long hours and weekends, and when I did get home I wanted to eat, spend some time with the baby before she went to sleep, then go to sleep myself.
Just be there for him, be patient, and let him get his groove in the new job. Once he does, he will "come knocking". Just look out, he will likely be a powder keg ready to go off.
2007-01-31 00:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. After working 15 hours a day, few men would feel like sex. That is too much stress for anyone. I certainly hope your entire marriage won't be like this. I once worked my regular job for 8 hours and then went to my part time job and worked 5 more hours and at the part time job 8 hours on Saturday. Sex was the furthest thing on my mind. Try to be understanding.
2007-01-31 00:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you but, NO-all men r not salvages when it comes to sex. But to answer question about stress: yes a males sex drive can diminish due to many things in life. The body chemistry has a lot to do with this. Look at it this way- just by u being pregnant can make a difference in his sex drive. You need to have a talk with him about the problem before it becomes a bigger problem.
2007-01-31 02:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by arthurd_daniel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look your husband like a lot of men today for whatever medical reason may have a low testerone level. The doctors or medical people do not even know how this problem happens. What I would suggest is that you have your husband go to your family doctor and talk to him and your family doctor will probably have some bloodwork done to see if indeed this is the problem. If he does have a low testerone level he may prescribe regular injections of testerone that should help with this problem. You would be surprised at the number of men who go to medical clinics on a regular basis and get testerone injections.
2007-01-31 00:30:38 · answer #6 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that, but he needs a break
That's a LOT of hours to be working! It's in a man's makeup to want to provide for his family, and with a baby soon on the way he is probably trying to make sure he does well in his new job so when the baby comes you both can enjoy it more.
Wear sexy (but comfortable) things that make YOU feel good. Give him patience and wait, he will be in the mood sooner or later.
Maybe he feels like sex could hurt the baby? It won't but men can be funny like that sometimes. I would try to discuss things with him but in a light, upbeat way.
2007-01-31 00:30:40 · answer #7 · answered by icecreamrules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, stress is capable of doing it. Modern men are only paper savages, and job stress is the highest diminisher of sex. They may be able to handle a variety of stresses, but stresses related to job, gets them. They have a responsibility towards their family, and u are pregnant and a new member is being added to your family. Be considerate and once he feels comfortable in the new job, and there is no threat of losing the job, he will fall in line, and enjoy sex once more.
2007-01-31 00:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not only can it diminish it, it can temporarily kill it for a while.
It sounds like he is under an enormous amount of stress with starting a new job and wanting to make a name for himself with that, plus the pressure of a new baby on the way.....that is a lot of mental/emotional responsibility if he takes parenting seriously.
Give him time, continue to be as supportive as you can and don't nag him about it.
2007-01-31 00:22:09 · answer #9 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everything I read above...plus, he's probably scared he'll fail at his new job. That's a major blow to the male ego and sense of security.
He needs you standing behind him telling him how great he is. Giving him reassurance that you believe he's the greatest guy on earth.
2007-01-31 00:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by S. W 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋