I got married for past 1 year and wife was truely a gem. At times i used to wonder abt her nice qualities and i praised her with my parents and friends. But recently I came to know that she had loved a guy before marriage which she did not tell me. On the contrary, i never hid anything to my wife and she knew that.Of late I see few symptoms that her love for me is fading, though she says she loves me so much. I am broken and deeply hurt. I never shouted at my wife. I never loved any girl other than my wife and my wife will be my first and last love in my life. I have no bad habits. People say i am one of the the few good men in this world. I am proud of me being nice to others and sincere to my wife.But why such things happen to boys like me. I am shattered to learn that my wife loved someone already and they used to talk daily for more than 30 minutes and exchanged gifts. I know my wife will not love anybody other than me now. I don't want to hurt her by asking abt this. pls help me
2007-01-30 23:49:02 · 12 answers · asked by Neena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are not seeing the symptoms of her not loving you but looking at her actions with a suspicious eye.
That doesn't matter what she was in past. What matter's is what she is now. She is your wife and she loves you. Most probably she didn't tell anything about her past is that she did not want to hurt you or she did not want to get into her past again.
Come on man face it. Instead you should be more loving to her as she is the one who needs a trustworthy company more than you. Probably she was ditched in love. She was strong enough to come out of it and love you with all her sincerity. Don't let her experience the same pain again. You said you are proud of being nice to everybody. Better be nice to your wife.
Look buddy, its' not easy to forget our love. but she did it. Now you are her only love at the present. A person having an affair before marraige never implies that that person is characterless, or dishonest. That would have been a different case if the affair was an extra-marital one. And you know that very well, don't? You know how nice she has been to you and your parents. You are in no ways supposed to evaluate her past.
The real herself is what she is now.... understand!!!
:-)
2007-01-31 02:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear Softboy,
It is in your hands to get out of your currently suicidal situation.
It may be that somebody is plain jealous of both of you and that is why they have sown these seeds in your relationship.
Or/ And
I agree with Emma G, and I have a few other points you can think about...... Firstly, maybe your wife did not tell you earlier about all this because she wanted to let go of the bygones or she was afraid of losing you or the way you would react.... Secondly, maybe what you are calling her previous love was only a fascination or a crush, which everybody in their lifetime experiences. But if it really had been her calling then she would not have been with you today. Maybe the person she was fascinated with was not worthy of her and that is why she loves you so much. I believe that love develops only after marriage when you go through the highs and lows of life together. Before marriage, things are only about making a good impression on the other person...... And now if you feel that her symptoms of love are fading, then maybe because, she is scared of you (and things you could do) at the moment!
Pl live your life and let her also live.
2007-01-31 01:12:47 · answer #2 · answered by DS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should trust your wife. it is possible to love more than once in a lifetime. don't put yourself down by thinking that she cant love you because she's loved before. if you think that her love is fading you need to talk to her, but if she doesnt want to talk about her past i think you should respect that. the honeymoon period of any relationship never lasts more than 18 months so maybe things are just settling down. dont give up, marriage is just about a day, a night and a holiday, it lasts a lifetime and needs constant work and attention. you sound like a great guy, im sure things will work out in the end.
2007-01-31 00:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by SpongeMate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi!!! Yes, of course that a girl can be a genuine to her husband! you know I understand your position, you are like my fiancee!! You know, first you have to ask your wife about that!! Because you have the right to know abt her past life!! After that, if she told you her past life, you have to forget it!! Past is past!! Everybody has a right to love, but for some people, their love can work and for others their love break!! I don't think she cheated you!
Maybe she didn't tell because she frightenned...We don't know..but tell her that you trust her and she can tell anything to you!! And you will not leave her...
For girls, it's very difficult to tell our past life to husbands, we don't know how you can take this...maybe you (boys) thinks that we are bad...you know...
Trust her and Be Happy!! Don't think too much about that otherwise you will break your own life!! Be happy man with your wife!!! She is a genuine don't worry and you are also!!
I hope I help you...
Have a nice day,
Mrs K
2007-01-31 00:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by Liny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweety the only way to get past this and work it out is to ask her. you have to explain how you feel and ask her where she truely wants to be. I think you answered your own question how can you be genuine to your husband if you love someone else. This could all be worked out with couseling but the first step is to approach her about it and if your afraid of doing that then you two truely don't know each other anyway. Goodluck and don't be naive.
2007-01-31 00:15:57 · answer #5 · answered by step b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear soft boy only the girl you are talikng about can answer this question.but ask your self what lacks in you that he has and you dont.it is all about geeting him kicked out of your personal life start fighting he has encroched your personal life stay cool never loose your temper.some times being to good and sincere is verry bad people will cheat you .i have a lesson for you .be hated be loved but never be ignored.if somebody loves you 1 time love 10 times if some body hates you smile and say good by.
2007-01-31 00:01:51 · answer #6 · answered by toploser 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
U have a perfect marriage life and a wonderful wife who loves u with all her heart.past is past.If u dont forget it..it would kill u in your future.If u sit with her and talk to her about her past..it wont hurt her..tell her that it doesnt matter to u anymore as long as she loves u.Very few people are as lucky as u r.Don't ruin it by digging up skeletons from graves.good luck
2007-01-31 00:03:42 · answer #7 · answered by Beautiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No R-rated video clips allowed in the living house? you are going to be residing inclusive of your head in the sand. feels like the husband feels like he has to lie and conceal his interest through fact he's conscious his spouse won't comprehend. additionally, he in all threat feels extremely uncomfortable - even embarrassed - each and each time he's approached with regard to the challenge. the two considered one of you're married adults, you will stay a sparkling existence, yet advance up and behave like married adults incredibly than spending all your means attempting to make beneficial the the two considered one of you're absolute saints. have faith me, your husband gazing **** and his feeling attracted to you're 2 circumstances that have not something to do with one yet another. while a guy or woman perspectives ****, no count if guy or spouse, it generally does not advise one substantial different isn't attracted to the different. instead, viewing **** is a classic outlet for delusion and excitement, without incredibly cheating. in reality, it incredibly is healthful for the marriage. it incredibly is common for mature, married adults to observe ****. the final analysis is to make beneficial it incredibly is finished carefully, and actually shop it below wraps remote from acquaintances and kin. My spouse and that i are additionally God fearing Christians. i'm hopeful you loosen up for the sake of you and your husband.
2016-10-16 08:50:47 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bygone be bygone , just forget her past even if you came to know about it just recently. If she is faith-full with you now & loves you then forget & forgive her previous affairs before your marriage. This advice I give you as an elder must be your fathers age.
2007-01-30 23:56:49 · answer #9 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
forget it dude. may she had a decent relationship with someone, i agree u did not. but she loves you now and forever. there is no point confronting her and ruining ure lives. other than her past if u have a problem with her and ure love life, please go ahead and speak up about the problem. u r a gentleman so be one. my gut feeling says ure wife is innocent and u deserve her so dont worry about her past and live merrilly. god bless u two.
2007-01-31 04:09:45 · answer #10 · answered by yourfreind_forlife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋