What to do when mother n law will not acknowledge child?

Question

Not trying to sound like I am materialistic. But my my in law refuses to acknowledge our child. When she was born we called her to tell her the baby was born and she said oh ok. Not even a 50 card. She said things like I dont know why my son would want another child. And encouraged him to forget about our child together and move back to the state where his grown children are.
We are together two years later but never a card or ask how our ddaughter is. When he does mention her she changes the sub-ject. When she seen her the first and only time she held her for
about 2 minutes and see well i dont have time to hold you.
i have written her two letters telling her this hurt me and she still cannot send a card or note. And she talks with the ex wife all the
time.She never liked the ex wife but now they are best friends.
My husband has pretty much stopped his trips to visit his family
out of the advice of a counseler. She will act like she forgets the
the childs name.

someone answered the husband has moved on. The husband is with me we are married im not the ex wife. he has pretty much kept his family out of his life because they will not accept our child and they talk with the ex wife

Let me say this agin the husband and i are together. we are happy, my question is it bothers me the mother in law is basically saying if you are going to be with the woman and her child we dont care about u. what she doesnt understand is it is hurting her son this is her grandchild

Answer 1

It's YOU and your family. You continue loving your husband no matter what. Your mother in law is the one missing out. Forget about her. Don't try any longer. If your husband decides to reconcile with his mother, let him do so without you and your daughter. Life does go on without in laws. You didn't marry them!! And as far as your daughter missing out on a grandparent, ....did she really?? Someone acting like this?

Answer 2

I know your dilemma all to well. I have the same problem (only with my own parents, my in-laws are wonderful) however I know it hurts when anyone refuses to acknowledge your child. It sounds like youve made every effort to have a decent relationship with your MIL. However I can tell you from having done the same thing, trying to work things out is good. but for yours and your familys sake you have to realize at some point that if she wants to be that way then its her loss in the end, not yours. And it sounds like you have a wonderful husband backing you up, so that always helps. So for now you can take comfort in the fact that you were the better person in this. And believe me one day shes going to look around and realize that all shes achieved is a damaged relationship with her son, and a grandchild that dosent even know her. But you will have no guilt in the end

Answer 3

Oh I feel so sorry for you! My first husbands family did the same thing to my daughter. I would see his mother id the store and try to get her to look at my daughter and she has no emotion. But she still to this day 28 years later , talks to his 2nd wife and sees their kids and they have been divorced for 15 years. I think these people are evil and there is no fixing them. i just learned that it was better to quit trying. They will never change. They are the ones who miss out, my daughter is smart, a good mother and beautiful. They have missed out on so much. It hurts but we cna't change them. Good luck. Also my daughter has been in therapy because through the years this has hurt her so bad in more areas of her life than one thinks. those of you who haven't been here have no idea of the pain , so be nice , your move on comments are cold and heartless like her.(mother-in-law)

Answer 4

that's a shame that your babies could bypass via this human beings could be so merciless without even determining that the youngsters are hurting. i could gently enable them to renowned that for years now your babies have felt that they advise below no longer something to them and you're able to desire to renowned why they deal along with your babies the way they do. i do no longer understand if the in rules have a situation with you, or no longer as you probably did no longer state that yet whilst that's then you clarify to them that even in spite of the undeniable fact which you ought to have your ameliorations there is not any reason the youngsters might desire to break, and ask them with politeness to place their themes aside and think of of the youngsters whether that's only a birthday card or call.

Answer 5

Ignore her. My MIL doesn't acknowledge my 2 boys with my husband although she does acknowledge his daughter from a previous marriage. I simply pretend she doesn't exist. Do your kiddos have other grandparents? My kids have my parents, as does my stepdaughter.
Some people are just ignorant, and it looks like your MIL and mine are both in the same club.

Answer 6

Plan a nice getaway with your husband and make her the sitter she can't not notice that way. Or being that I am just bold I would call her on a daily basis and leave messages about what her granddaughter did that day, if she answered I would give her a piece of my mind as well.

Answer 7

Side with your husband on this one. He's handling it perfectly.

Answer 8

do you really need someone to draw you a picture?..... get over it, forget it, move on, good grief, the husband has moved on, why cant you.,

Answer 9

tell your mother in law kiss your *** and she'll never see her grandkid with her mean assed attude

Answer 10

forget her name