Why do I feel myself so unhappy?

Question

I feel so negative these days. I feel very unhappy. I am angry. I am aggressive.

I envy people who are happy, lively. I feel so down. Why do I feel if I had a boyfriend, everything would be great? Why am I looking for happiness in the other person?

I feel so lonely.

Answer 1

You have a lot of things on your mind, clearly. The first thing you need to do, and this is not easy, is breaking the cycle. You're now in a position where you are worrying so much about being sad and down that it is self-perpetuating.

Secondly, if you really want a boyfriend, it is unlikely you are going to meet one that you will be happy with for a long time if you meet them in a sad, down, angry and aggressive state.

So, you need to sort out your mood on your own, then get a boyfriend if you still feel this is a necessary part of life for you.

I have had periods in my life where I have felt very similar to you. Coming out of it has not always been down to big changes I've made, rather just time healing wounds and small things.

My advice would be to do a few things to help yourself to be happy;
1. Cut down (or cut out if necessary!)alcohol, smoking and drugs if you are abusing any of these. They can feel helpful, but often leave you washed out and more depressed than before.

2. Change your diet to healthier foods, not to lose or control weight, and not even a big change, but eating fruit, nuts and vegetables more gives you the nutrients your brain needs to feel happy. If you are already doing this or on another kind of diet, consult your doctor for help with getting the right foods.

3. Exercise regularly, again not to lose or control weight, but because this releases endorphins which make you happier. In addition, this will improve your self esteem, particularly if you try to do more each time and meet those targets. As above, consult a doctor if you plan on making significant changes to your regular physical activities.

4. Think about your friends. Are they happy? Could they help you and have you discussed this with them? If they are putting you down, or don't have time to hear about it, they are not good friends, and may be part of the problem.

5. Get out there and do something new. Try amateur dramatics or join a club, that way you'll meet new people (including potential boyfriends!) and have something to look forward to during the day.

If you do even two of these things, I believe you will feel a noticeable improvement quicker than you think. Give them a try!

Answer 2

Sounds like what i've felt. It's low self esteem. A boyfriend might make you feel better but he's not the answer, and then if you break up you're back to where you started and you'll start thinking you weren't good enough for him, asking yourself what did you do wrong?, etc. Getting a boyfriend is not the solution. Nobody can make you happy if you are not happy. You will not find happiness in someone else. You need to accept yourself for who you are and stop comparing yourself to others. The day I realized it's ok to be me changed everything. Nobody can be like everybody else because we are all different, we have different qualities and no one is better than anyone else. Remember that, no one else is better than you. Enjoy things and enjoy you without thinking it's not as good as other people. This is not true. And the day you believe in yourself you won't need someone else to make you happy. It's not easy but you just need to tell yourself these things and stop saying negative things until you believe it. I'm not 100% there myself, it's hard getting self esteem when you don't have any, this starts from childhood and it's not your fault. It's easier for those who started with self esteem to begin with. I kept wanting to be my sister. Well you know what? I will never be my sister no matter how much I wish it. I am me. So I can continue to put myself down or believe I'm just as good. Putting myself down will keep me with low self esteem. It is a choice. And I used to complain to my friends hoping they could give me what I needed. They never did because they can't. They are not going to solve it for you. Yeah, they might sympathize with you and agree with you and that might validate your feelings and you feel justified for a bit but you go right back to being unhappy again. Because they are not the answer, it's you.

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Why do I feel myself so unhappy?
I feel so negative these days. I feel very unhappy. I am angry. I am aggressive.

I envy people who are happy, lively. I feel so down. Why do I feel if I had a boyfriend, everything would be great? Why am I looking for happiness in the other person?

Answer 4

I think you should talk to a counselor, a psychologist. You don't say how old you are. Sometimes older teens and young adults become depressed for no know reasons. It's chemistry. It happens.
It is also the last week of January. I call this "cabin fever week." It is cold and dark most of the time. The season can give a person the blahs.
Finding a boyfriend is not the answer. Chances are it will complicate rather than simplify your life.
If I can do anything for you, please feel free to contact me at [e-mail].

Answer 5

Another person will never be able to give you true happiness unless you have it in your heart. A boyfriend is not the answer to your problem. You need to focus on your goals in life and the things that are really important to you. Look at each day as a new start. Get a grip on your own life first before you try to include someone else. Spend your alone time focusing on good things and on your blessings, learn to find things you enjoy doing to help with your lonliness. If you tried to have a relationship right now, you would be too focused on the other person making you happy and that will never work. Learn to enjoy your alone time.

Answer 6

I know where you are coming from, I go through phases where I feel like that too. You are looking for happiness in the other person because you can't find it within yourself. You might want to start accepting yourself for who you are - warts and all, and surround yourself with other people who accept you as well. That will surely help you feel better about yourself. Once you feel better about yourself, you will find a boyfriend who will 'complement' you, rather than 'complete' you. Hope this makes sense, best wishes, Penny xx PS feel free to email me if you want to sound off, [e-mail]

Answer 7

Right there, it is because you don't have a way to share the deepest feeling of yours. You are getting very frustrated because you want to have someone intimate both physical and emotional. You need to share, you want to be loved and you want to have a partner.

Well, you are relatively desperate that you got jealous of people. You wonder why you can't have a loving bf while others have.

Well, it takes time. There will be someone for you. Don't let it get the best of you. If you don't, it will bring out the worst of you. You certainly don't want your potential bf see that the dark side of your, do you ?

Answer 8

There are many reasons why you feel unhappy. Try talking to your doc about it as soon as possible. Depression can be harsh, I know from experience. Next, if a person keeps saying " I will be happy when" Or " I will be happy if....." then how can one ever be happy. Find oneself and live for today...easier said then done! Do you really need someone else to "make" you happy? How is it that they "make" You happy when it us who choose how to react to each feeling. No one can make you feel, you choose to feel, whether it be conscious or subconscious.

Answer 9

sometimes this happens . look at the less fortunate people than you.Brighter side is that you are better than many. Do boyfriends help? instead they may create problems by bossing over you. forget. take your mother into confidence. she will surely help elate your spirit.{ for depression eat plenty of whole grains pulses fresh fruit and vegtables. lean meat poultry, fish shell fish. AVOID -alcohol and Caffine cofee and colas. Canned and processed mests, Calve's or chicken liver processed or ripe cheese, beer red wine and liqueurs}

Answer 10

MOOD SWING

i get that sometimes too