If someone is gay, but he wants to restore his masculine identity and befriend other straight guys (but in a nonsexual relationship), how could he do it?
2007-01-30 22:06:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This is not coming from an expert, but what is sure is that if you think it is a problem, then it is a problem.
My personal experience is that I lived in a small community of approximately 600-700 where probably 30% or more were gay for ten years and never encountered or heard of any such problems. Probably the main reason was that we had plenty of other things to think about such as personal challenges, arts, fine arts, etc.
My present wife had over the years many friendships, and still has, with gays which she encountered while she was active in the theatre world.
My advise as usual is to focus on what you want and you'll get it. Imagine how you would like it to be.
2007-02-07 15:45:35 · answer #1 · answered by canron4peace 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what ego-dystonic means - but I think gay guys have to realize that a homosexual orientation is the most egregious threat to a heterosexual man's sexual identity that there could be. We can all say how that shouldn't be, and perhaps it shouldn't, in a perfect world, but it is. Just like if six rednecks walked into a black bar with a noose, that would cause a terrible uproar, even if they said they only had it for praticing knots for their sailing class.
Now if one man befriends another and is able to completely repress his homosexuality, then I think they could have some degree of friendship or emotional exchange. I've seen that, and even had such friendships myself. But it would limit the degree of closeness that could take place, because one person is, in effect, keeping a secret. Nor is it dignified that he should have to keep a secret. I think what you are describing is one of the inevitable consequences of homosexuality. Whether a choice or a genetic delivery, I think it is necessarily socially limiting in that way.
2007-01-31 02:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by All hat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a bestfriend who I thought was straight for 6 years - when he opened up I still treated him the same.
The only way to do it is not to show your gay side or let these guys know ur gay. Because straight men naturally and usually dont have strong (friendly man to man) ties with gay men. Interests are different sometimes but the main difference is the sexual orentation and men love to talk about women and sex - while in your head it wouldnt be doing anything to you cause your male to male oriented.
Try open minded men who are laid back and dont see a difference.
2007-01-30 22:15:55 · answer #3 · answered by LighterDeep 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actual. All of my male friendships are platonic. If it appears that evidently love this is starting to be extra advantageous than a platonic (non-sexual) friendship, then is the time to communicate up and probably circulate on. purely be upfront with one yet another spectacular from the commencing up
2016-12-16 17:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont know?? I placed an ad on a couple of local web sites looking to meet people male or female for FRIENDSHIP, to get out and do stuff with. I got a heap of gay men trying to hit on me even tho i made it quite clear that it was nothing sexual and that i was hetro/straight/not queer. I chatted with one guy who confessed to being gay, and I said thats ok as long as you undertsand that im straight and will not tolerate any sexual inuendo, as i dont intend telling him about my sexual escapades with my girlfriend, but they just did not get it?? Seems like 3 out of 5 guys u meet these days is gay - is it trendy?? Wonder if women have the same trouble of other chicks trying to hit on them??
I think you need to be honest and upfront and draw the line that sexuality doesnt need to come into a friendship. I am pretty tolerant but having to endure what is basically sexual harrassment is not on. Stop thinking with yr dicks, now i know where chicks are coming from!!
PS I had a work mate now living in China, who told me he was gay, and it didnt matter to me, bit like telling me he was jewish or something, as long as he repested my beliefs there was no issue!!
2007-02-05 00:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by scorpiosa70 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you wanna stay true to them then make up a storie about some 1 who is really gay and use him to get through ot them they might understand
2007-02-04 07:16:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be friends with those you know will accept you for however you are, simple as that.
2007-02-06 16:21:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋