I am 22, my husband is 34. Over seven months of marriage our sex life has been pretty routine, pretty much same positions on the same bed. Even though I told him that maybe we can try it some other way and that I’m ready to try anything he wants, it’s still really the same all the time. Now we have sex about twice a month, about half of those times I initiate it because I just can’t wait anymore, but then I also would wait until he gets horny – and it’s usually about two weeks! I try to keep in good shape, when he comes home I wear something sexy but he doesn’t seem to notice all that! We eat, then we plays Warcraft on computer, and then he gets sleepy and goes to bed. Every other time we have sex he can’t finish, I tried. He says he’s too tired or too sleepy or it’s difficult for him in the morning.
It feels like he isn’t interested in sex, like he’d rather play computer game than have sex. He isn’t on any medications at all.
What is happening? What should I do?
2007-01-30 21:41:16 · 23 answers · asked by Lilian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before we got married we deliberately had sex only a few times, though he wanted to I wouldn't let him. When we got married we had sex about every week, and quite often it was difficult for him to finish. When I got upset about it he said that it's nothing to do with me, he is just tired and soetimes it happens. But I don't know whether it's true or not. He also once said he is not a 20-year-old who wants sex all the time anymore... :(
2007-01-30 22:08:58 · update #1
He also gets pretty tired when we have sex. He is not in very good physical shape since he has a desk job and no excersize (not overweight but no muscles and weak cardio-vascular system). But he hates exersizing and even though he used to say he should work out to be able to keep up with me he never went to the gym!
It's like, it is easier for him to have less and worse sex than to go and work out to improve his sex life..
2007-01-30 22:20:17 · update #2
As to the computer, even when we had our internet connection cut off he would watch movies or read instead, but it didn't improve things for us in terms of more sex!
2007-01-30 22:33:42 · update #3
Throw the computer away! Your relationship is dying and the computer is the main cause. Communication also seems to be a problem in your relationship, you have not told him how you feel. Let him know that he either has a relationship with his computer or with you.
2007-01-30 21:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Shrek 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
With such an age difference perhaps he feels that he can't keep up with you or maybe he has performance problems and that explains why he isn't interested in trying new things. There could be other problems that might explain his lack of intimancy with you that he doesn't want to talk about it to where he makes excuses and avoids you by playing an online game.
You're going to have to talk to him or perhaps suggest couples counseling. If this is how things are and you two have only been married for 7 months something needs to change or the marriage isn't going to last much longer. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-31 06:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by galaciel21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's suffering from Erectile disfunction. It only needs to happen a couple of times for a guy to not be able to finish and then he loses all his confidence. He may need cialis or viagra time to get him some of this. Also, don't play on the computer so much and maybe go to bed earlier and use that early to bed time as play time.
2007-01-31 06:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn off the stupid computer.
After 3 or 4 hours of Warcraft he's probably all vegged out and not in th mood.
Rent some porn, buy some sex toys, and give him a show he'll gladly pass on the computer games for.
2007-01-31 06:24:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS A PSYCOLOGICAL NOT A PHYSICAL PROBLEM.
I think your husband is going through depression , one of depression's syptoms is to lose appetite for food , sex and all lusts.
Computer games reduce the stress , because with them he finds the chance to escape from his stress.. it may be financial problems , it could be work, instead of trying to move him to have sex with you, try to refresh his mode , put him at relaxation , try to spend a day out or do something different , bring him some good news or a nice surprise . Then his appetite for sex will return to normal.
With this , you can suggest Viagra, or any other motivator.
Good luck !
2007-01-31 06:09:28 · answer #5 · answered by shdtt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How was sex before marriage?
Does he masturbate?? Maybe thats killing his drive for you....You should maybe go away for the weekend and see it that spices things up.. Try disabling the computer (not too badly) and see if that helps. Unless there is something physically wrong, Men have a sex drive - it seems he's driving his somewhere else right now. Good luck.
2007-01-31 06:02:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is happening with my husband too and I do the same things. Only he watches TV or just plays X-box. (oh he is 35). It must be the age. Men reach their sexual peak in their 20's so maybe it goes down hill from here. I wish I could help you, but you are not alone!
2007-01-31 05:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a man is not interested in sex, there has to be an underlaying issue...and it does not have to be cheating....but there is something that is bothering him...This is just a thought could it be the age differnce? Maybe since you are younger, he feels that him being older, that you might find him less attractive than other men your age. Talk to him, maybe he has a physical reason....and needs to get it checked out...This might be bothering him as well, so talk to him.
2007-01-31 05:55:28 · answer #8 · answered by Mechelle C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's more than likely not you... The fact that he can't 'finish' eludes to a possible medical/psychological issues. Do some research on delayed ejaculation... see if anything fits your scenerio. Seek the help you may need before this damages your relationship.
2007-01-31 07:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by frogsandweeniedogs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Computer is like a toy, some men play games all day and all night long on them. Best thing is to get him off of it.
Ask him which he prefers, you are the computer.
2007-01-31 06:18:16 · answer #10 · answered by kayef57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋