many years ago my freind received a marriage proposal from a guy we both knew..She said no initially but he persisted and when her family came to know about it, a big discussion followed.She was advised to only concentrate on getting a degree.She did ask this guy could he wait and his reply was -for all his life - if she could commit there and then and accept his letters. Her answer was -no.The guy married after a year having given up.As soon as he got married, this girl was heartbroken.Now she is married but told me still thinks about him.I want to help her here AND TELL HER IT IS HER OWN DOING and she is responsible for the situation she is in.Do you think she is at fault? Why did the guy get married even after proposing to her?He could have waited for her. How can I help?
2007-01-30 21:09:46 · 10 answers · asked by sm 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she gave him no hope, her answer was no and she has only herself to blame, we can see all of our mistakes later on,but often times it is just too late, u can't do a thing, both are in different lives now, the window of opportunity is gone.
2007-01-30 21:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That course of events usually takes place in relationships. Not too many couples really want to wait years, especially if they want to be married for the companionship and security. No one is at fault. It's hard to hold someone to a promise for the time it takes to get a degree. Both had different priorities and because of it, things didn't work out. I think your friend needs to concentrate on her own marriage and forget the one that got away. Those things happen. There isn't much you can do except to listen when she talks. I would be easy with the criticism because you might strike a nerve and she'll be mad at you for "butting in". Just be a friend. If anything, try to encourage her to remain in her marriage. There has to be some love there since she did say "I do".
2007-01-30 21:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy couldn't wait for her, then it wasn't meant to be. It is neither her fault or the other person's fault.
She should concentrate on her grief, her healing process, and move on.
The only way you can be a good friend to her is to listen. Don't get her into believing in self-blame or reminding her "I told you so!" That is not being compassionate to her grief and you are only upsetting her. Listening and just being there will help her live through her tribulation and at the same time, making her grow positively.
2007-01-30 21:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by Agent319.007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her not to live in the past and the every choice is the right choice when made at the time...it's never good to regret a choice because its what you thought was best at the time.
Tell her to be happy with who she has chosen and if she wasnt with the person she is with now...I'm sure she would regret that too.
She can have her cake and eat it too....but make sure its a cake you like...
She needs to make definite decisions in her life and quit being so indecisive ecspecially about marriage.
2007-01-30 21:15:55 · answer #4 · answered by ILAUGHATU 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just one of life's roads not taken. Be honest with her, but perhaps help her to recognize that we all have control of our destinies. Rather than feeling that she's swindled herself out of a future, help her to see that everyone controls the path they take through life, and that includes her scorned intended.
She's got to move on.
2007-01-30 21:30:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's gotten lost in her own fantasy. Your right this is all her own doing. Maybe if she deals with the problems that she's running away from the pull of this fantasy will go away.
2007-01-30 21:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
l think he got tired of waiting for her because she rejected him when he nd her, he saw there was no hope for him there and decided that it was time to move on so l think ur friend shd also move on en stop wasting her time and concentrate on her husband
2007-01-30 21:33:39 · answer #7 · answered by judy m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It it your problem or yours friend?
If it is yours,would request you to take bold decision.
2007-01-30 21:31:13 · answer #8 · answered by ramesh c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who knows only time.
2007-01-30 21:16:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it. It can't be changed.
2007-01-30 21:13:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋