At what stage do you end a marriage?

Question

I don't know but at the moment I feel very unloved by my partner. I don't want to be a single mother but I don't know whether I should stay and just put up with it or leave and try and make a better life for me and the kids>

Answer 1

Without love in a marriage you only have a plutonic relationship anyway. Why do you think he doesn't love you? Have you asked him? If you have gone beyond that stage and still aren't satisfied or happy then you should consider moving out on your own. Your child will definitely be affected by the lack of love between you. As your child ages, they will see that missing in the household. Don't stay in an environment like that. If you have means to support yourself and the child, move out. If not, find the means to do so. Good luck.

Answer 2

A wife has a driving need ro feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has a driving need to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When neither of these needs of met, things get crazy. The book Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other and how they can deal with such conflict quickly , easily and biblically. I have been with my man for 32 years now and only in the last 5 years after reading this book did things begin to work properly. Get this book. If you live in Michigan or nearby Michigan,the author of the book, Dr Emerson Eggerichs run courses in Grand Rapids and it might do you both well to sign up for one of his courses.

I would highly recommend the book. It falls under the category of marriage and the isbn no is ISBN 1-86920-572-3 You might beable to order it online.

Meanwhile, dont quit. Be less critical of your man and start showing him unconditional respect. Read Ephesians 5:33 as proof of respect from you being a command from God for your husband as is Loving you a command given to your husband and also unconditionally. Pray and seek God pertaining your marriage. All marriages go through ups and down. You need to in the meantime overide feelings and emotions and to choose to be positive, forgiving and become confident too. Dont fear. Be bold. Become loving and kind and considerate towards him. Esteem him. Pray for him too. Get "The Power of the praying wife" by Stormie Omartian and use that as a guide. When you pray for someone you find favour with that person.

I hope you feel comforted knowing that many people are where you are and all they need is to change the way they are doing things as do you. Someone has to make the first move and its going to have to be you. I did and we are so happy now. We know what was missing in our relationship. I had to start doing my part alone and within a few months he softened towards me again. He too read the book. I left it lying around and he found it very helpful and good. Even if your man does not read it, leave him to GOd. God can change things and does. DOnt you push him at all. Just do what the book says and be committed and diligent too. It really pays off!

When God is involved in your life things really do work out. One day you too will be writing a letter to a stranger encouraging them to make a difference that works.

God bless you richly and may you choose the right thing. It really is worth it.

Answer 3

First of all do everything you possibly can to try to work on and save your marriage... Seek counseling and help for you marriage like a marriage counselor or something like that.... Does your husband know how you are feeling and why?? You really need to talk with him about this and your feelings. Why do you feel so unloved?? Has he cheated on you or been unfaithful to you in any way? Has he abandoned you or is he abusive to you or the kids... If not then you need to stay and work on this marriage.

Answer 4

Feeling unloved and actually 'being' unloved is too seperate things. This is one of those situations where you need to sit down with him and discuss things. Voice your feelings & fears. It may be that he's going through a hard time himself and is keeping things bottled up for some reason.
When I turned 40, I was (deeply) depressed for a full year. After I mellowed out, me & the wife discussed things and I told her what had been bugging me (lost youth ect... etc...). She said "Oh, I thought that you wanted a divorce and didn't want to tell me." If ONLY she had asked me a lot eariler, I could've put her mind at ease. The problem wasn't with her, it was with me. Talk to your husband.

Answer 5

Have you tried to communicate with your partner? A happy marriage will only last if two parties are putting effort in their relationship. A marriage is about commitment, communication and understanding.

If none of them is functioning well in your relationship, you should talk to your partner. Give a chance to this relationship.

It is always easy to say quit.

Answer 6

Why do you say that you are unloved by your partner? Are there any problems between the two of you ? But before you decide to leave him or stay, you should ask yourself : are you financially prepared? If not, will your husband support you and the children in case you leave him? Are you prepare to be a single mother? Being a mother and a father ? Do you still love him? Most of all, you should talk it out with your husband.

Answer 7

don't leave the marriage until u have made sure u spoke to your partner about how u are feeling about the marriage. it is never easy to be a single mom, and the choices for partner's out there aren't that good. u may be sorry later. sometimes we only think we aren't loved, maybe our partner is having some problems that aren't really about us. talk to him first, make sure u make it really clear to him, maybe seek some therapy first before u decide to end the marriage. maybe it's just a lack of communication, maybe he is stressed out. alot of difficulties in marriages are caused by lack of communication and hurt feelings.

Answer 8

i think you should move on if you find that the love your partner just to have 4 you is gone why stay around and live a lie making every one think you have a good marriage if you move on you may one day find someone else that truly loves u and your kids aren't the excuse 4 not moving on they will understand one day.

Answer 9

how about trying to address the issue and find out what is going on ?
there is a middle ground there - it's called communication.

Answer 10

AT THIS STAGE, KIDS IS VERY IMPORTANT . MAKE A BETTER LIFE WITH THEM FIRST. BRING THEM UP. THIS IS NOT TIME FOR LOVEY DOVEY. REMEMBER KIDS IS IMPORTANT. WHEN YOU GROW OLD THEY ARE THE ONE WHO GOING TAKE CARE OF YOU.