How should I tell my husband about my problem with our finances without offending him?

Question

My husband and I got married last December and now I am having problems regarding our handling of our finances.

Before we got married, we decided to have a joint account and have him handle the account since I can be lavish and overspending.

Since we bought a land lot on an installment basis, a great percentage of our salaries immediately goes to the payment of the lot. At that time, I felt like I no longer have an access to my own salary which I worked for because our salaries are already been set for the payment of our bills.

Now that we're married, I still feel like I am no longer comfortable buying stuffs for myself because I feel like I need to ask for his permission in using our money. We have talked this problem over several times and he is always providing me with what I need, assuring me that I can spend our money.

I just don't know why I feel very uncomfortable. I am working but I can't enjoy my salary and buy things that I also like... what's wrong with me...?

Answer 1

dont create those barriers , just tell him straight forward:
baby, i dont want you to feel bad but this is the situation, we need to be careful... we need to do this and that !

Answer 2

Maybe you need to keep track of how much money is in your account as well. Get familiar with the monthly income and expenses, and see how much is really left over at the end of each month. Then you'll know how much you can really spend.

Having most of your salary go to the bills is just part of life as an adult.

Your husband might actually be more comfortable having you know how much money you really have. It's possible that he tells you there's money for whatever you want just to please you, and then comes up short trying to pay some of the bills.

In my house, my husband works and I handle the finances. Usually once a week I will tell him how much we have in the bank and how much of that is earmarked for bills. He's careful in what he spends but he doesn't ask permission, and I don't ask permission before I spend money, even though he's the only one working.

Answer 3

Sit down and talk with him about setting aside an equal amount of money for each of you to spend on personal stuff. Kinda like an allowance, and then stick to the budget.

Getting the land paid off should be your first priority.

Answer 4

i understand your situation although mine is oppisite because i handle all the money. you need to discuss this with your husband and remember that although you work hard for your money you are working towards something together now. but everyone needs to buy something for themselves too! so maybe you could go over the budget together and set aside a little of the funds for play money. so much weekly or monthly that you can spend on you for whatever save it fomr something big or blow it on bubble gum whatever the situation it would be yours.

Answer 5

theres nothing wrong with you at all. joint accounts are set up in relationships normally to pay bills etc, but if you dont like the fact your not in control of your own money which you obviously work hard for i would do something about it. why should you be worried about telling your husband? if he is a loving, understanding man he should be able to compromise.
approach the subject over dinner etc. tell him you have something you want to discuss with him. dont ask him, tell him that your thinking of opening up a seperate account for paying bills which you can mutually contribute to. tell him that direct debits can equally be paid by both you and him into this one account to cover bills etc, as you want to have your own account. go and see your current bank manager with or without him, and tell him that you want to close the joint account and open a seperate one in your name only. also tell the manager of the direct debits which will need to be set up for your half of the bills. ask him to open another account for bill purposes only. make it clear to your husband that your would prefer a seperate account to a joint one as you dont feel in control anymore. as long as the money is there in a seperate account to pay the bills, what you do with your own money left is down to you not him. your husband will probably need to go with you to see the bank manager in order to close the joint account and open one up for himself. if you dont like the situation get out of it!! i have never agreed with joint accounts in a relationship personally, and even if i was married i still wouldnt. you need to keep some form of independence at least. good luck!!
if your worried about approaching it with him, you could have a quiet word with your bank manager on your options first, then you could be prepared to speak with your husband next when you've got all the details etc

Answer 6

I don't think there's anything wrong with you, it's just that as per usual, as a woman, you're overcome with guilt!
Why not try having a seperate account, transferring a certain amount into it each month and spend that?

Answer 7

this can sound mean, yet it really is precisely what you opt on to inform them. tell them that at the same time as you're taking excitement in the availability, you're having adequate monetary issues by using the indisputable fact that is, and that it's not your brother in regulation's automobile. Heck, in the journey that they are prepared to fix YOURS for him to apply, why do not they purely purchase him his personal automobile?? you ought to come proper out and tell them this, in the different case they're going to save pushing it till you purely explode, it truly is in hardship-free words going to make it worse. in case you come back out and tell them now, and are straightforward with them (in spite of if it offends them) a minimum of they're going to understand how you're extremely feeling about it and why, extremely of attending to wager. ought to I make a education guide besides? My father in regulation is interior a similar boat you're, and he is going by skill of Debt ideas to preserve a number of his mastercard debt. extremely of paying over $2 hundred/mo on each and each card, he will pay a touch over $three hundred a month for all of them jointly....purely a concept, in case you ever considered help. solid success hun