Should I keep my baby or have an abortion at age 21?

Question

I just found out that I am pregnant. I am pro-choice, but find that I don't think I can go through with an abortion. I feel I will regret it very much. I don't want to have one and regret it for the rest of my life. I already feel so attached to my baby. I think I would would be a great mother, but is it too early to have a baby?I have a supportive partner, but we don't have very much money. I am still in college and planned on having a career as a psychologist. how long would i have to put school off for? I really need help, I don't know what to do. I am so torn!

Answer 1

I think you already know you are keeping that baby!!!

Answer 2

I already have two kids and a third on the way (just found out about the third). I just turned 21 mid December. You are not too young to have a baby. If you feel that you can not go through with an abortion, best answer is "don't". I am also pro choice but feelthe same as you (I could never kill my own baby, but feel that there may be a reason for other women.) As for your college, you don't really have to put it off because you can always take an online course of whatever you are wanting to accomplish. Being a mother at such a young age is never a bad thing. It may hurt you in your dreams and finances, but its worth it in the long run.

Answer 3

Being pro-choice doesn't mean YOU have to have an abortion, it just means you support other women who choose that. If you are already very attatched to your unborn child, it would probably be traumatic for you to have an abortion. I am only 18 (will be 19 in 4 months) and I am making the choice to keep my baby, because I don't think I could live with the consequences. Think about all the girls that had babies while they were still in high school; and managed to make something fo themselves. If you don't have any references, my sister in law had a baby when she was 17 and again when she was 19, and she still went to college and is now a teacher. My friend also had her first child at 17 and is now in college getting her doctorate in psychology. Having a child doesn't have to mean the end of your life..it just means more, different things to look forward to. I wish you and your baby all the luck in the world, whatever decision you make. And remember that if you have someone to support you (whether it is your boyfriend, the baby's father, you cousin, your sister, your mom, a good friend), whatever you do will be easier, including making the right decision.

Answer 4

I am 19 and had my beautiful baby boy at the age of 18, while i was pregnant at 17. I had a supporting partner (still do) and we didn't have very much money at all. (i didn't work and he only worked part-time) and for the first few months we lived with his parents in this tiny room with all three of us. My son is now 16 months old and is the happiest and healthiest baby i have ever seen. I also was torn whether to abort or keep him. Everything always works itself out, so you would be fine keeping it- everyone always has hand me down baby outfits (since you really only need a few, people tend to reuse favorite outfits over and over anyways), swings, cribs, etc. Just look at all of the factors... if you know if you have the baby and you decide to put your career on hold, are you going to harboring some kind of resentment towards it? can you afford all of the little things that always come up like diapers, wipes, medicines, creams, laundry soap, clothes, car seats, etc. the list is practically never-ending (though 80% of it is attainable for free or nearly free), etc. Just make sure you do your research and search your soul for what would cause you more pain in the long run... Resentment for a long time against the baby for ruining your career plans (you'd end up putting it off for quite a while), or pain from knowing that you gave up a baby? be true to yourself and talk it out with your partner- your relationship is important too. Good Luck! I know you'll end up making the right decision for you.

Answer 5

Well I am pro-life lol, but thats not the point, you are going to do what you feel is right for you right? And since you don't seem to feel abortion is right for you, you are going to need to decide on adoption versus keeping the child. As an adoptee, I can say I have always loved being adopted, you always know that you weren't a mistake, that your parents really wanted you! lol, plus just had great adopted parents. So I would lean towards this if you want to continue school, for financial reasons. For purely physical reasons, you shouldn't have to put off your schooling for too long... if everything goes well. My sister was in the hospital and out two days later, despite having a preemie, and they were both able to go home. She attended her graduation 3 days after having her child. I hope you can decide what is best for your baby, and I hope your future is full of TONS of blessings!

Answer 6

If you can give the child a loving, supportive home, and feel like you would regret an abortion, then by all means, have the child.

I am pro-choice, which means, I support every woman's choice to decide what to do with her own body.

You can get help from various programs, such as WIC, local charities, local churches and family and friends to help with the expenses. Co-sleeping and breastfeeding take care of two major costs right there. Stay in college, and when you graduate, you'll be able to afford a more financially stable life with your child.

It can be done.

Good luck! :)

Answer 7

It sounds as though the decision has already been made!
I had my first baby when I was 21, looking back now I was young, and inexperienced, but I know I was a good mum even at that tender age.
You will be fine, and the beauty of it is, is that when the baby is here, you still have an awful lot of time to complete your studies and pursue your career. You get to be one of the lucky few... a career and a family!
Things seem to have a way of sorting themselves out, and once the hard decision making part is done the rest will fall into place.
Congratulations!

Answer 8

21 is not a young age. You are an adult. If you can know what the consequences of having sex are then you can know how to handle a baby. You've made the right desicion in my opinion. Think of the side effects. What if you can never concieve again in future. Being a mother is a best gift a lady can get and believe me ask those who can't concieve when they want it. I was one of them. I really didn't realise the value of having a child until I had problems getting pregnant and now I cherish every minute of having my baby. You'll love it. I'm telling you.

Answer 9

I was in this very same position this time last year 21 years old and a juinor in college,except my bf left me. I am also pro choice and was very torn between the two. Like you I was very fearful that I would regret my choice if I aborted but worried about how I was supposed to finish college with a baby. I chose to keep my baby and I am now in my last semester of college. I love my son and can't imagine my life without him. Its been difficult but I have a lot of help from my parents and extended family. I don't know where you live but I know that there are many programs designed to help young moms earn degrees buy providing subsidizing child care and providing money for school. Have you applied for any Federal/State Aid ( i.e. WIC, food stamps, welfare?) I would advise you to contact your local planned parent hood for agencies that will help you if you decide to keep the baby. They can also refer you to abortion counselor who can help if you choose an abortion. The bottom line is that it is your body and your choice. You must do what is in your heart to do. If it doesn't feel right then don't do it, and that goes for both motherhood and the abortion. You have some time to decide as abortions can be done at up to 16 weeks of gestation. I know the biggest help for me was talking about my options with a counselor that I found on my college campus; that might be good for you to do as well. I hope that I have given you something to help in this very chaotic time.

p.s. be very skeptical of websites offering advice about abortion a lot of them are pro-life and will try to scare you into keeping your baby by telling you other women's "stories of regret". I 've had friends who have aborted and are living successful lives so just becuase you choose abortion doesn't mean you'll be depressed for life. Different situtations, circumstances call for different results. They only person who you ultimately have to rationlize to is yourself.

Answer 10

I was 22 when I got "knocked up." Hindsight 20/20, the dad has never given me ANY type of support (monetary or mental!) I did it alone the first 4 years, but finally married a wonderful man who takes great care of both of us. I thought about abortion, but decided to research it... looked at websites, saw graphic pictures... read about the possible side effects. I chose to have her because I was afraid of abortion. Having her was the BEST THING I could have ever done. Children aren't easy - and your life will be forever changed (if you're a GOOD parent that is!) What you want now, may not be what you want in the future... because once that precious child comes out, your whole life is meant to help that baby live theirs. Good luck!

Answer 11

i think since you are having such a hard time with this u might really want to consider keeping the baby. YOu are not a teen or in high school anymore. i think you are smart and capable enough to raise a child. you are college educated there is no reason you cant provide a good life and great role model for your child. School will only have to be delayed until u the child will be old enuf for daycare. My sisters school has on site daycare!! they actually have some really great GRANTs (money for school u DONT have to pay back) for single mothers to attend college. my sister gets more $$ than me to attend college cuz she has a kid!! whatever u choose good luck.