I was working on and off before. I can't hold on to my job coz im always thinking of my kids. They always get sick if I am not the one taking care of them. Finally, my husband took us to the country where he is working. I do all the chores while homeschooling my kids..Its really exhausting and sometimes stressed me.Now, I wanted to follow my dreams and pursue further studies, seems that my husband doesn't want me to, he wants me to just take care of them..but I can no longer do it, I am just not happy anymore...I wanted to pursue another degree, but my husband thinks its just a waste of money...do i really have to take care of them and forget my dreams? or just follow my dreams to make me happy? Following my dreams doesn't mean that I will not take care of them, its just that ill only have a little time for them, and let somebody take care of my kids while i am not around. Being a homemaker for a few years make me feel like i am empty....
2007-01-30 18:48:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seems to me you answered your own question in the headline. You gave up your dreams to care for your family. Obviously you knew you needed more than just your family to be happy. You need to try to find a balance between family and pursuing at least 1 of your dreams of you just might not be happy at all.
2007-01-30 23:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by bobbybacala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First try to get professional help.
2nd try to find some time for yourself. I think you need it. Try to take a hot bath, or a quit walk in the park to relax
3rd You can go to UNISA it is a open university in South Africa it is recognized by most country in the world. It is not expensive or there are other open university's in the world. I am not sure what country you are living in so I don't know
4th try to go to marriage counseling
4th Don't ask your husband, tell your husband you are going to do a 2nd degree, if he doens't agree try to find the money yourself, maybe by getting a part time job or even making a website on the internet. You can use google adsense and make money from home between the kids crying, and that way you can go to a open univesity from home if you have to.
You can even make a website on the subject that you want to learn, it will give you the knowlage and a new skill.
4th don't give up you are important too
5th think of all the reasons that you think your husband would accept you going to university.
6th if you don't live in an English speaking country try to give private lessons in English, it is a good way to make money for university
I like to help if you want email me Lirdn@yahoo.com I had the same problem as you a few years a ago
2007-01-30 19:20:10 · answer #2 · answered by jm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you feel empty. Your husband does not appreciate the sacrifices that you are making. He has you just where he wants you, stuck out in the country knee deep in kids. Be careful or he will telling you he wants another one. As soon as you can start taking classes and pursuing another degree. Makes friends outside your family. Otherwise one day you will find yourself with grown kids and obsolete. What is your husband going to do if you do it? Nothing. What can he do? Divorce you? I doubt he will do that. As long as you arrange for the kids to be taken care of there is nothing he can do about it. Your husband is controlling you more than you know.
2007-01-30 19:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody else who answered was a woman...now I'll give you a man's perspective: You made your bed, now you get to lie in it! You weren't happy before, now you've decided to start a family, but you aren't happy with the position you've taken. This is exactly what you did when you were single, not finishing what you started; unfortunately, your decisions now affect the lives of 3 other people. You can be selfish and leave to satisfy your self-serving wishes momentarily; you can stay and follow your dream when your kids are grown enough to look after themselves. But if you leave now, there are no guarantees your husband isn't going to find someone else to satisfy HIS needs and wants and you'll be out of a job you took for granted was unfillable. WRONG! You'd better think carefully what it is you really want...there's no going back once you make your choice.
2007-01-30 19:08:04 · answer #4 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Balance, you need balance. Being a homemaker is a very lonely job. I know that for a fact. It's not fun and it's almost depressing. I hold a torch to anybody who has done it for at least 2 years and loves it. Have a girls night out once a week or anything just so you're getting a regular break.
2007-01-30 18:57:55 · answer #5 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to yourself to be happy and being a good mother does not mean you have to spend every moment with your children. They need time away from you in order to grow further themselves and you need time away from them to do the exact same thing. The last thing you want to do is end up resenting your family in the end.
Personally, I feel you owe it to yourself and to your family to be the best you can possibly be. So if that means, going back to school, getting a degree and having a career...go for it because this is something YOU need to do as an individual.
You don't want to be 60 years old and wonder what if....you want to be able to look back on your life and say, "WOW, I did it!"
Stay true to yourself and never stop being the best you can be in all aspects of life!
2007-01-30 19:48:50 · answer #6 · answered by c_d70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, you're not happy because you gave up your dreams to take care of a bunch of whining children and a husband who's too lazy to take are of himself. Tell him what you are going to do and do it. Your children will be fine. My mother finished graduate school, worked full time and my father worked full time too. If anything, I learned independence and gained some respect for my mom. If she just sat around on her butt all day being a miserable house wife, I wouldn't feel the same way.
2007-01-30 19:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have absolutely no diversion/balance in your life. You're consumed with home and children. You were a person, before you became a wife and mother. You feel you've lost that person somewhere deep inside you. You need to find some part of her again........So that you can feel more complete....And at the same time offer your children a happier, more balanced mother.
You gave up your dreams. It's natural for you to feel unfulfilled.
You know about quality time vs quanity of time....
2007-01-30 19:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear aaa,
plz dont feel like that. generally this type of problems has arise when ones kids are so small and they want the really care from their mother instead of a servant's etc. So in my opinion the both are important i.e. care of ur family and ur dreams as well. u have to choose as per ur situation that which have to give more priority. If u ask me than i will suggest that pls wait till 4-5 years and when ur kids grown upto some extent when they need not required more care from u than u start to fulfilling ur dreams. till than enjoy the life. thanks
2007-01-30 19:08:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will you be able to leave them without loosing your job? If the answer is yes then follow your dreams. Your babies will not always be little and then you can persue your dreams but now would be the perfect time to go back to college because you are not working.
2007-01-30 18:55:45 · answer #10 · answered by sasy_tabby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋