I have been dating this guy for over 2 years. He proposed over a year ago and I haven't gotten a ring yet. We have talked about getting married and told our friends. We cant get married until we are both through with grad. school and money can be tight sometimes. We have both told our own friends but he hasnt told his parents yet or mine. They assume and talk about it but my question is why he wouldn't say anything to his own family that he has went ahead and asked me or have bought me a ring yet? He has shown me the ring he wants to buy online. What am I supposed to think? I know its not about a ring but Im still a girl. The family thing really bothers me. Thanx any input would be appreciated.
2007-01-30 18:21:40 · 13 answers · asked by Mara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not sure why he would be reluctant to tell his family, but as for the ring, perhaps it is a money issue. You mentioned that you are both finishing grad school and he has a ring in mind that he wants to get you. Is it a ring that the 2 of you can afford right now? Perhaps he would rather save up the money to get the nice ring, then spend money on an affordable one right now and the nice one later.
On the other hand, it may be that he doesn't want his family to see the ring if he hasn't told them about the engagement ring. Hopefully all intentions are good and everything will work out in the end! Best of luck!
2007-01-30 18:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by T F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I am so happy that there is still some girls are welling to wait till they got the ring and not pushing them selves to get that relation even without marriage, that show that even you are a girl and have feelings but you still wish to make it in the light and with the agreement of pairants.
I am sure you loved him so much but did he loves you the same way? if yes he should told his mom first thing and he will never feel shy to ask them even if he want any help from them he will fight to do all what he can to gain your heart and be yours for all his life. But when it is just games and he is not that ready to tell his pairants and only the friends that means a very huge question mark
why he is not telling your family yet lets see the answers:
- He feel that he is not ready yet as money thing
- he is worry that your family take you away from him if they are not like him
ok why not like him
if he is ready and love you money is not a big thing if the person is a man and can do his life and house duties.
But if he is not that sure and he feel that he is still a boy so he will be afraid from even open the topic to your family.
Some thing more
If he have all the right not to tell you r family he don't have any execuse not to tell his family
they are the closest to him and ready to help him and they wish the best for him
so why he didn't open the topic wth them?
the answer
he is not ready
and not serious
sorry my dear but he is playing with you as much time as he can spend.
Wish you can use your mind more than your heart
Take care dear.
-
2007-01-31 03:04:19 · answer #2 · answered by Mind of Ideas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I agree that he's not going to let his or your family know about the engagement before he can afford to buy you the ring. Like you said, you're still a girl, and your or his family also probably expecting to see a ring on your finger after you guys officially announced it. Be patient, if you get along with him and the relationship is good, you'll be getting the ring and the wedding!
2007-01-31 02:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by Speck Schnuck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is scared to tell his family. You could ask him if he would like you to go with him to tell them the news - better yet how about both your families getting together for a family dinner - you and your boyfriend can cook it and make it your treat to them,and during dinner you can both tell them the news.
communication is the key if a relationship is going to survive.
Talk to him - tell him how your feeling about not having a ring.Maybe he doesn't realize it meens that much to you. Maybe if you clearly let him know that it meens a lot to you - you could both pick out a cheaper ring together.
Also remember - a ring is a material thing - material things dint matter - its whats inside that counts and how you both feel about each other.
2007-01-31 02:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he isn't financially ready for that yet. He asked you to marry him to hopefully make sure you would have a monogamous relationship with him until he could. Maybe he hasn't told his family is because he wants to wait until it is official and that you both don't break up before then. Some people have been together a lot longer before they were able to get it together. So be patient, 2 years isn't that bad, especially since your both in school yet.
2007-01-31 02:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if he's waiting to tell his family after he gets you a ring to make it official. Maybe seeing you without a ring would give some kind of message to his/your family that he's not serious about it. Once the ring comes, see if he says anything. if not, then flat out ask him, when he plans to tell. Maybe suggest a dinner for all parents so you can tell them together.
2007-01-31 02:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by pussnboots333 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can really count yourself engaged if your family and more importantly his know about it. I would just enjoy dating him for now but not plan your life around him as he hasn't given you a ring yet. Are you in a hurry to be married? Life goes by so fast you should enjoy every stage and not rush to the next time.
2007-01-31 02:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by ilovekeroppi2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read my words very carefully..
If this guy loves you then time will show his love.
Don't push him about any issues.
Be happy and when the time is right for you in your heart to ask what his intentions are to move it forward or not you will know.
Maybe after grad school hes wanting to do it right.
If you really love him don't let all those other thing bother you.
2007-01-31 02:35:10 · answer #8 · answered by MissChatea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just wants to wait to propose again to you @ dinner in front of the family! Be patient I've been engaged for 71/2 yrs and I'm in no hurry for marriage and things are still great between us.
2007-01-31 02:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by LSD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least he is showing you a ring, which must mean that he intends to marry you. Patience sweetie, patience. You will need it when you get married, so now is a good time to practice being sweet to your guy if you love him. He might surprise you with a big diamond.
2007-01-31 02:25:56 · answer #10 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋