why do people gosip so much i lost my first born son to sids when he was 6 weeks old on april 18th 2005 the worst day of my life as time goes by things get a bit beter and it took all of my corrage to try again to be a mommy once more recently i heard yet anouther rummor some one said that they found pillow fluff in my sons throught and they were sure i killed him after 2 years you would think that things like this would go away so of course once again doubting my self i pulled out the autposy report which found that there was nothing wrong with my son and on came the tears so i supose my question is why do people feel the need to make up terrible lies when some one is already suffering so much and what should i do about this person or say to them to make it stop i have a hard enough time with his brithday comeing up and the anaversary of his death with out the rummors
2007-01-30 18:02:29 · 19 answers · asked by mommyofanangel06 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
omg this just made me cry.
wow.. I hardly know what to say. There's really nothing anyone can say to comfort a mother who lost her child, I just feel so horrible about what you must be going through. I don't know all the causes of SIDS, but I know it's not safe for children under the age of 1 to sleep with one, not even a little one because if they roll over, they can suffocate. I'm not saying that what happened, because I wasn't there... I don't have a clue.
whew.... my god. The best thing I can say is just ignore stupid people. If you know the truth, that's all you need. Don't even listen to people or rumors or whatever the hell is going on. You have ENOUGH on your mind and HOW DARE THESE f.u.c.k.e.r.s. prey on you when you're going through such heartache?!
I keep getting chills here, I can't even believe how much pain this must be putting you through. I'm just so sorry that there are so many airheaded, lowlife, selfish idiots out there. Anyone who can make up those kinds of lies has NO PLACE IN THIS WORLD. They're NOTHING, and believe me... when the time comes... KARMA'S A *********.
Try to feel better and remember your baby IS WITH YOU everyday of your life. He's your angel. =)
2007-01-30 18:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by mattysmommy2004 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How absolutely awful for you and your husband/partner. I remotely understand how you feel. I had a miscarriage about 5 years ago that was devastating. I've never felt so racked with grief in my life. A piece of me and my husband died that day. Sounds came out of my mouth that i had never heard before. It felt like someone was ripping my heart in two, and i don't mean that totally metaphorically. There was a physical pain. You had a chance to connect in a more intense way, so it must be so much worse to loose him. I am so sorry for both of you. Absolutely this wasn't your fault. I hope you/the two of you have a really good support system.
There are probably a few different psychological reasons why people do things like that. I think the biggest reason (not very psychological maybe) but there lives aren't interesting, or don't have enough drama, so they need to create it so that they will have something to talk about. Can they not empathize with what you have gone through?
If you feel up to confronting them do so. Not to defend yourself, becuz you did nothing wrong, but becuz they are need to account for their gossiping ways. People like this will keep on doing it, unless they are called on it.
It's easy for some people to say, "Well, you know the truth and you should let it roll off your back", but the reality is, is that every time you hear about this, it only reflects the bad things that happened. When you hear these things, try to make yourself think about the beautiful things that you remember about your son. Maybe just trying to make it into a positive thought will make it easier for you to just let it go as their own lack of an interesting/dramatic life. As much as you'd like to be able to control what other people are saying, you can't, so you have to protect yourself(ves).
Have you become a mommy again? I wish you luck with that. Both of you. Take care.
2007-01-31 02:59:35 · answer #2 · answered by jama_bc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can either confront the person and give them the facts, explaing that what they are doing is hurtful. Or, you can ignore it. Whichever helps you deal with it better. You can't control what people say about you, but you can control how you react to it. There is nothing anyone can say or do to ease the pain of losing a child, but I am sooo sorry and wish you never went through that. God Bless you and please don't doubt your abilities to be a good mother. You can do it! There is a monitor on the market that will give you some peace of mind. It is the Angelcare monitor available at Target and goes off if there is no movement in the crib, including breathing. I got it and it is awesome!! After a tragedy like that, anything that can help you rest is helpful and I suggest you try it. hugs again and God Bless!
2007-01-31 02:16:37 · answer #3 · answered by sailorgidget 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say that I am very sorry for you loss and may God bless you and your son. To answer your question: I think for some people thier lives are so miserable that the only thing that makes them feel better about thier sad existense is to talk about others. By focusing on your tragedy and blaming you for it they can shift the focus away from themselves and what a horrible person they themselves are. Also I think people don't understand SIDS and just assume that you did something, when they are just stupid. As far as addressing this idiots just say that you love and miss your son dearly and that the rumors are hurtful and disrepectful to the memory of your beautiful baby. That is the nice way to tell them to shut thier mouths but I personally would tell them to "F@#k off and get a life of thier own!!!" That is so disgusting that people would act that way. God Bless!!
2007-01-31 03:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by babyface 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry for the lose, I can understand your pain as i am also a mother...
Look dear you cant stop people from gossiping, but you can avoid them from listening or just avoid thinking about them.. just think that your son is in heaven rejoicing with god...and believe me god will give him back to you soon..
have you heard the story of the donkey and the farmer, where the farmer was going to the market along with his son and the donkey, first people started laughing saying that they are mad to walk while they have a donkey, than he made his son to sit on the donkey, further the people started telling that what a son he is making his old father to walk, than the farmer sat and the son walked, so the people started telling that what a father he was, to make the son walk, so they both said on the donkey, and the people started telling what horrible people they were, and pitted the donkey, so finaly they both carried the donkey and while crossing the bridge, the donkey shaked and they all well in the river..
you cannot do or live accoring to people's way... you try to avoid listening or this will effect only you and your family and you will fall in the river not they..
2007-01-31 02:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by Richa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so, so sorry...I cannot even begin to comprehend what you've been through. You know what? Neither can these people who feel the need to say cruel things and start vicious rumors. Sometimes people are so very mean. They are miserable and want to spread their misery. I don't even know you, and it makes me so angry.
Someone mentioned karma...I am a firm believer in it. Cause and effect is an incredible thing...whatever you put "out there", good or bad, comes back to you. Remember this any time you hear this garbage.
It means NOTHING, they mean NOTHING. Who are they to you and your life? Nothing. Put NO STOCK in their words.
Sending positive thoughts your way. Take care of yourself.
2007-01-31 07:45:17 · answer #6 · answered by Maudie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are so desperate for attention that they will say or repeat anything that they think will gain them popularity points. I am so sorry for your loss...I cannot imagine. I am very happy that you are trying again. Seriously...I would confront this person. It doesn't matter who it is...let them know that you had a son that died...that you did not kill your son...and how dare they accuse you of that. Let them see your tears...let them feel your pain....and do it in front of others. NOT a scene....just let this person know that this is unacceptable. STAND UP for yourself and for your son!
2007-01-31 13:52:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your loss.... You know the truth, the dr. and your close family and friends believe you and that's all that should matter. Sids is very common, that person is uneducated and immature. It's not worth it what they think. Ignore and it'll be a lil easier to move on.
2007-01-31 02:18:46 · answer #8 · answered by Red 7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people just don't have anything better to do. they try to make themselves feel good when others are feeling bad about a situation that they were involved with. that's the bad thing about this world. people who take joy in watching others suffer. i'm so sorry about you little boy. much love and prayers to you!
2007-01-31 02:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by Mandie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people are just bored and have nothing better to do than sit around and make lies and hurtful things up about other people.i am sorry for your loss and i wish you the best on your journey to have another childand adding to your faimly
sorry to hear about your loss
2007-01-31 02:13:00 · answer #10 · answered by shelly2004grad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋