I had an abortion because i was under pressure from my bf at the time now husband,?

Question

I have since then started to resent him for it. I cant seem to get past it and havent been able to forgive myself for having one. Has anyone had an abortion and felt bad for doing it? How did you deal with it? what can i do to make myself feel better?

Answer 1

Becoming a Christian out of guilt is not the only answer. Only you can decide something as personal as faith, but don't allow someone else to take advantage of your pain to assert their own beliefs. First, accept what has happened, meaning accept that you can't change it. Every person on earth has done something he or she regrets. Next, talk to your husband. Give him the chance to listen. Don't blame him. You are an adult. Tell him how you feel (without accusations) and then try to forgive him. Talk to a trusted friend if possible. Pray if it makes you feel better. Then, as you heal, think about doing something positive with your life. Donate you time to charity or do something to help people less fortunate than you are. Realize that you have something to offer this world.

I once read that some women in Japan have a ceremony (like a funeral) following an abortion to allow the women to grieve their loss. I don't know if it's true, but I always thought it was more humane than our attitude. In the U.S., abortion is shrouded in shame and secrecy, and many women suffer in silence. Time will help you feel better, if you keep a positive mental outlook and allow yourself to heal.

Finally, if you have symptoms of severe depression or suicidal thoughts, see a mental health provider immediately. You don't "deserve" to feel bad, no matter what some less-compassionate people will tell you.

Answer 2

You'll probably want to speak to a therapist first about your guilt over the abortion. There's nothing wrong with getting an abortion, but because you didn't want it, and were pressured into it you should definitely talk to someone.

You can start at http://www.4exhale.org/ . They're a non-judgmental organization that helps women after abortions.

You should also look into marriage counseling as you're starting to resent your husband. It's important that if you want to work through this, you start the healing process.

Answer 3

My husband and that i agree on the completed abortion element. We both have self assurance that existence starts at the same time as the sperm and egg connect. as far as breast feeding i did not extremely have an opinion till I were given pregnant about 5 years in the past and went to W.I.C. They gave me some information/studying cloth and that i grow to be unexpectedly VERY professional breast feeding. i did not understand it on the time, yet my husband grow to be also VERY professional breast feeding. He were extremely afraid that it should be a level of rivalry between us and grow to be extremely joyful when I grew to grow to be a lactavist!! lol He grow to be also very supportive at the same time as i wanting to breast feed previous one 3 hundred and sixty 5 days (we lasted for 21 months before my son weaned himself). there are quite a number of issues we probable must have pronounced before identifying to have youngsters, yet some how we've purely ended up agreeing on each thing!! lol we are exceptionally far available granola mothers and fathers. We co-sleep, do not vax, prolonged and unique breast feed, residing house college, textile diaper, toddler positioned on and practice eliminating verbal substitute. thus far there has been NO argument about any of this from both individuals. And thus far we are extremely pleased with how chuffed and healthful our son is! we do not plan to do something otherwise with the toddler which may be the following in August.

Answer 4

It's too late for regrets. And so you married a man who forced you to kill a child. That same kind of control will be in your life as long as you are with him. I had a man try to force his irresponsibility on me by making me have an abortion and I chose the life of my son over the demands of that person. My baby's life meant more to me than some relationship. People don't realize what having abortions can cause in the long run. Now you will never know what potential that child you killed had. You can't blame the man because ultimately it was YOUR choice to do it or not and you did it. Harbor resentment for yourself for the decision that you made. He's no catch if he's telling you to kill babies so I don't know why you married him anyway.

Answer 5

Forgive your husband and yourself and forget what had transpired before.
If you are a Catholic talk to a Priest and seek absolution for your sins. God will surely forgive you since Jesus Christ has already shed blood for our sins.
James
Chapter 5
15 and the prayer of faith will save the sick person, and
the Lord will raise him up. If he has committed any sins, he
will be forgiven. *
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray
for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of
a righteous person is very powerful.
You have already confessed your sins to us here. Go one more step further and confess to the Priest. If you are a Christian talk to your Pastor about your past.
Believe me, you will feel better.
In fact, you are already feeling better now by venting your anxiety to this website!
God bless you and your husband.
Any child on the way?

Answer 6

the reason why your feeling resentful is because deep within you know you committed murder by aborting your baby.
the good side of you is telling you that.
What you can do is ask God's forgiveness, also ask forgiveness for all the sins you hacve committed. Accept jesus as your Lord and savior.
God will forgive you and you will feel that. you will feel an unexplainable joy. You will feel released from the heavy burden about your abortion.
If you want to know more just contact me.My email address is the same as my answer ID.

Answer 7

it may seem an odd suggestion.....but you could contact a pregnancy crisis center....not one that offers abortion....one that's offers abortion alternatives.....many of thesecenters, offer groups for women suffering from the trauma of abortion......what you are going through is normal....for many, many women and you need to work through these feelings......I had an abortion myself 20 years ago and I completely understand what its like after wards.....I now volunteer at a women's center and I only work with Post abortive women helping them to find forgiveness and acceptance from themselves and ultimately from God although the purpose is not to convert you to God but to heal you from your abortion.........the study we work from is called Forgiven and Set Free....and its author is Linda Cochrane......in this study we go through relief and denial......anger......forgiveness......depression......letting go......and acceptance......I don't know what state you live in...but I do have a list of numbers for each state for post abortion ministries if that would help......you could email me your state....or just add a further post........and please do not let anyone make you feel worse for the choice you made.....God knew before you were born the choices you would make and he still chose to give you life because he wanted to love you and have you with him in heaven.......only the Lord can be your judge.....you are not your decision....God bless

Answer 8

You didnt do anyting wrong. U didnt noe he was going 2 become your husband. He is the one to blame not u. He shouldnt have pressured U. But, as long as he is a good husband 2U there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Answer 9

I went thru the same thing. I finally left him. I had no one to talk to.
You making the first step to healing. You are talking about it.
And as far as religion goes its totally up to You.
You dont need religion to get forgiveness from God.
You just need FAITH!!!!!!!

Answer 10

You can feel better about it by converting to Christianity if you haven't already. God is ready to forgive you. Also, tell other women about the emotional pain involved in killing an unborn child. Feminists want women to think it's a quick and easy thing.