i need to tell someone....?

Question

recently, i found out that my hubby have been SMS-ing other woman. he told me that they are juz friends. But what kind of friend when the other party SMS to him at night and said that she miss him eventhough she knows that my hubby is married?? when i confront him, he said that he is sorry and he have no idea why that woman SMS to him that way. and he promised me that he will stop communicating with her. one part of me wanted to believe him but the other part juz can't. i've always feel like wanting to get a divorce from him but i juz can't make up my mind bcoz of the kids. maybe can anyone give me a gd advice or recommend me a lawyer (in singapore)? thank u....

Answer 1

I never believe in encouraging couple to file a divorce unless beyond redeem. As, it's not easy to find someone who you love, and it's more difficult to find someone who you love and love you. Not saying get married. Certainly, you will regret if you just divorce with him because of the "SMS-ing". Unless he really cheat on you, if not, why not just give both of you, and your kids a chance?

Answer 2

Look ! Only an sms can't mean anything.Unless u have proof.What point 4 divorce only 4 a small matter.U should listen to your hubby explain first.Take your time to find out what actually happen b 4 u make a move.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like u suspect he is not telling the truth. Go with you instinct, but don't act rashly yet. Try to monitor is call logs and smses, and keep track of his hours and timing. If there is really something fishy going on, then he will leave a trail somewhere. Or you can hire a private investigator.

Don't confront him again unless you have real evidence, it will just make him cover his tracks better if he is really cheating. If nothing turns up, after some time monitoring, then put your heart to rest. But if he is indeed cheating, do get a counsellor and check out your legal rights.

Answer 4

You are in a difficult spot. Throw a fit! Take his phone from him and tell him that you want to see the call and message records to that number. If he receives a bill - threaten to see the number of calls to the same number. Tell him you will tell his whole family.....but while doing so remember that you want him to STOP what he is doing and not Split up with you. You have kids and the marriage is important if you want them growing up normally. Also you should confront and meet the lady concerned and give her hell. You will feel good about it. In the end your hubby will (should) come back to normal and get over this passing fancy / phase in his life.

Answer 5

Sounds like he could be seeing someone on the side and lying to you about it. If they are just friends, then why hasn't he introduced you to them? He does know why they SMS him, but he doesn't want you to know what is really going on. I would look at his phone while he is busy (in the shower or sleeping). Write down their names and contact information and don't tell him about it. If he finds out you looked at his phone then he can just delete their info. off the phone. Call them and talk to them about it. Just ask questions about how they know your hubby and introduce yourself. They might not even be aware that he is married. If he is lying to you about them, then most likely he is lying to them about you also. Find out for yourself if they are more than just friends or not. Then once you know what you need to know talk to him about it. At this point you should be able to know if he is lying to you or being honest because he won't know that you know who they are. If he tells you any different from what you know then he is lying. Don't jump in and assume from the start that he is lying though. Just keep an open mind about what everyone has to say about their relationship with him and each other. Remember that you have the right to know what is going on in your marriage. After all, if you didn't care then you wouldn't be worried about it. Good luck! I hope this helps.

Answer 6

i am in the same shoes as you. I caught him sms-ing. I took his phone & confronted the woman. She claimed they are just friends. Go & get the detailed phone bills and find out, don't believe him. I know it is hurts to find out the truth but you cannot avoid this forever.

Answer 7

You should never be made to feel uncomfortable in your relationship period! Especially a marriage. Once you let that slide other disrecpectful things will follow. Believe it or not my ex had a video of himself and other women and he was watching it our house in our bedroom.
Third Fatal error-He left it in the VCR! Second Fatal error-He brought it to our home. First Fatal error-He made the tape!
Do not accept the disrespect! Nip it now or there is more to come! If you love him forgive him, but let him know you will be repected!

"Now That’s Love"

I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene

Answer 8

i know very very well how hurt u r and how sad u r if not for the healthy upbringing of your kids u surely will not think twice of leaving him right? sometimes i really wonder.....y god create this nasty man to hurt us? is this fate or what? very angry and disappointed with them. anyway, because of the kids we have to be strong, yes, we can go on with our life without him..... but we chose to believe him right n hope things will turn up better right?)! stop deceiving yourself, he is being dishonest n what u can do is accept it . very sad advice right...i learnt.

Answer 9

get divorced.you will suffer even more lf you stay with him like that.dont even think twice ,just get rid of him.you dont deserve that.he should respect you as a wife and as a woman.that's a shame.

Answer 10

Hey, if you're not happy, Leave, cause no one wants to be in a loveless marriage, and if you're happy, your kids will be happy.