this poem is about the pressures of living up 2 todays high standards held for our generation
2007-01-30 17:31:58 · 28 answers · asked by abbybloom1 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
I fear what I will become
I can feel it deep inside
I’m losing me to myself
I can no longer hide
My fears are taking over
Soon I will be broken
Shattered by my own dreams
Logic is far out spoken
I reached to high
There’s no going back
I thought I could do it
I feel I’m under attack
I guess there comes a time
When every one breaks
But for me its too much
Its all I can take
My fears have beaten me
To this bloody mess
So I now I have no choice
Ill forget my dreams with no success
2007-01-30 17:32:25 · update #1
I know someone will say it doesnt have to ryhme but thats the way I write and how I make the words flow
2007-01-30 17:34:02 · update #2
Every poem for me is just like a rough diamond, i do not care if it have rhyme or not. It just express what inside our heart and frame it in a sheet of paper and this paper is sharper than a knife, if we understand what is inside that paper.
And also your poem, put it into the song, and you will see what people say about it. And if someone told you the poem is bad, then he/she do not have what we called as : HEART.
I love your poem, i will save it in my file through with the other poems.
2007-01-30 20:35:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty depressing but I feel ya. There are too many high standards set up by each generation. Just be proud of who you are and your next poem might be a littlel more uplifting. But, I have written the same kind myself in the past. GOOD ONE!
2007-01-31 01:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by Trish J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad at all. You might want to use a spell checker to catch typos (like to should be too -- I reached too high).
Poems don't always have to rhyme. Your line length is good and there's nothing that breaks the flow.
2007-01-31 01:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by Lifesnadir 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Excellent opening section. Oh and Jonathan Swift said that a verse without rhyme is like body without soul. Don't listen to any of that intellectually lazy garbage you hear.
2007-01-31 01:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by stark z 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact that it rhymes doesn't bother me.
The fact that the meter is off does.
It's better than most poetry of this nature (I call it high school poetry) that I've read; I have one friend that is so inept at poetry that he rhymed something with "elves". The topic, of course, was racism. I need to get new friends. Ones that don't suck.
2007-01-31 01:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by Trapdoor 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I like poetry that rhymes and has that kind of flow. I like the way this sounds but the words are tragic.
2007-01-31 01:36:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked it a lot! I think it is a relatable subject that many do not know how to talk about, you did an excellent job!
2007-01-31 01:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by miss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you hykou is great cept some form .
i love what the words say .untill line ,bloody mess .
your right out of every generation , all the way !
You get a++ !+
2007-01-31 01:41:11 · answer #8 · answered by martinmm 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No offense, but it brings to mind, if I may paraphrase, "Everybody who is in a 12-step program thinks they are a poet".
2007-01-31 01:36:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Nope. But i know nothing of poetry. Im sure you put your heart into it.
2007-01-31 01:36:06 · answer #10 · answered by Archangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋