ok, it started out as a 4 yr friendship and then went to something more. he lives with me, and we were set on having me and my girlfriend of 10 yrs live together. NOW.....it was an adjustment and now he is like lazy, doesn't want to put the effort in to learn to read better, to get a REAL job, he hangs out with his boys and when i confront him says"you don't knowhow hard it is out there...{OR} "i'm working on things,"" then he has a temper and has harrassed me bordering on being abusive, he punched a hole in my closet door cause i asked him to help with the bills- and he called his mamma about it! sure he helps a little around the house, i'll admit, but he's lazy and i got to tell him to do everything. i hate to be a *****, but damn, he broke my cell and isn't helping to pay for it, my girlfriend called him a lazy mofkr, and i can't deal with this, he's 28 yrs old for god sake, so any ideas? sometimes i can't stand to be around him so what do i gotta do? ideas to mk him leave?
2007-01-30 17:06:18 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
girls, it seems he is having issues with his baby's mama and it's where the frustration is coming from. though you all are right, and the anger isn't directed at me, he does need to grow up and pull his own weight, and also commit to having his other daughter in his life despite the other baby's mama denying him any rights to the kid, even after getting payments. sooooo, i will definitely take all your advice and try to give it another try, because the friendship was good, just when things change to a commitment, then either it will work out or it won't. but thank you for all your good words and add more if you like.
2007-02-07 15:50:51 · update #1
You need to leave him! If he has not grown up so far then he never will, im sorry. He is a total mamas boy obviously since he calls her every time there is a problem. And believe me any time there is abuse it doesn't get better it will only get worse. Find a way to get him out now no matter how drastic! Besides he doesn't deserve you!
2007-01-30 17:10:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he have an abusive attitude and soon he won't be hitting the doors or walls ( by the way, that's destruction of private property) The next thing he will hit is you. When you tell him to leave you must have the police there with you. Bums don't like to lose their comfort spot. You basicly takes care of him. His mother knows he's good for nothing that's why she helps him talk when he want to run to her. She don't want to take care of him. If he doesn't want to know how to read better then he shouldn't be tolerated with hanging out with his ''boys''. Then coming to your home and you have to help feed him, warm him, let him use your water ect... He is lazy, but you are the blame for some of that. You allow him to be lazy. Call the person that own the property that you stay in and tell them or show them how he punched holes in the wall and ask them to make him pay and vacate the premises. He's working on things alright. Why are you gonna allow him to take from the house hold and break your body down? You have to know if he doesn't have morals to get a job and learn how to read then he won't have morals not to cheat on you. People like that are bad news and you can't help everyone. If you can't stand to be around him then have him removed and go get a protective order when you do throw him out. When you know that you're gonna ask him to leave. Have his things ready to go, the protective order in line so that he knows if he comes back, you can have him arrested and when you put him out. LET HIM STAY OUT!!!!!
2007-02-05 21:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were with him for 4 years and you are just now complaining of his laziness?
Give this dude the royal boot in the hiney! He's a moocher. Moochers never change they just move on to the next victim they can mooch off of.
Give him a 30 day notice to vacate your apartment or living quarters. Do this in writing and have it sent certified to your house. If in 30 days he hasn't vacated. You have every legal right at that point to put him and his things out to the street. change the locks on your doors and don't let the moocher back in.
Why should you put up with this? You're making it on your own without his financial help. Get a grip and kick his lazy behind to the curb!
2007-02-06 23:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! sounds like you are going thru alot of turmoil and strife. If he is abusive you need to get rid of him. You will never change him. If he is displaying that kind of anger, then it will get worse. He needs to learn to grow up and learn responsibility. He may even have to have counciling or anger management. It also sounds like since your friend lives with you huys that he feels like that took some of the responsibility off of him to do anything. He has it made! Why would he want to leave? You are going to have to put your foot down and make it clear he is not contributing to the house hold or relationship. Don't say anything to spark his anger. You may get physically hurt. if you have to call someone of authority and have them present when you tell him he has to leave. You deserve better than that. There are alot of good looking men that are very responsible to that you could find. I made the mistake of marrying a man along time ago that I knew his personality and problems. But married him any way, and I had to deal with his problems because they became my problems. Plus it created more problems in my life. Good Luck! I am here if you need me.
2007-02-07 01:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's not helping with the bills, tell him you gotta move since the rent can't be paid, you move in with a family member and he has to find a new place to live. Go the distance and move out, stay with someone for a few weeks while you find a new place, get a place outside of town if you can. Get away from this guy, he's trouble, destructive, (you'll be paying for that door too!) abusive and it WILL get worse! Good Luck! =)
2007-01-30 17:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by DB 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweety he's starting to punch and break things he will get violent on you eventually breaking will not be enough after awhile. But tell me where does he get off breaking things he can't afford to buy?????? You need to send his broke a*s to his mom. If he doesn't want to leave, you leave. Trust me forget about the 4 yrs relationship he has nothing t o offer you he just wants to live off you better you leave now than when the relationship reaches 10 yrs you start to regret that you wasted your life. Move on he's just pulling you back. You are better of without him
2007-02-06 23:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by curious 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, I did that, I laid in bed crying for hours asking God what do I do to get him to leave..
One thing you can do is change the lockes on the door,
put all this stuff out side.. so that the cops won't make you open the door, and call the cops if he tried to break in.
Mine was gone for a few days, I got his truck repossessed so that he lost his wheels and couldn't come back.. I put his sh*t on the front porch and changed all the locks and then..
DID A HAPPY DANCE!
GOOD LUCK, I'LL PRAY FOR YOU!
2007-02-05 17:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by HA! HA! HA! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, i will tell u one thing. a lazy bum like that will be as lazy no matter what happens and only a desperate woman who can earn big bucks would tolerate being with him. women who has the skills to earn big bucks, that is, and at the same time being like in their 30's and still not married, or is having a hard time finding true love.
and this type of men, will only go for these kind of women ONLY. bec they need that financial support. come to think of it.. he called his mama to patch up the issue.
and its so good for u to find out too soon. bec this kind of men will only make u suffer. u will have to wear the pants in the house..
how to make him leave you? ask him to get lost, leave, asap. bec nothing, no negotiation will ever make him want to work for long.
2007-01-30 17:28:04 · answer #8 · answered by The Punisher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he calls he's mother to tell her things that 's going on I'll just call his mother and have him come pick his lazy *** up! It appears he break everything that you have cause he's jealous of what you got going on with yourself. If he's not helping but costing more yes you need to leave his *** out in the streets where you found him. Call his mamma!
2007-02-07 14:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by pinkish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one thing, LEAVE HIM. if he is a lazy butt there is no reason for a great girl like you to be with him a lazy boy. Just because you guys are good in a relationship doesn't mean that he has to be really bad at being a boy.
just leave him and let him deal with everything.
and if worse comes to wost, like follows you and harrasses you, then call the cops , they will come .
oh yeah, sue the guy and tell'em to pay for all that stuff.
well I hope you take my advice.
2007-01-30 17:12:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋