I am currently dating a guy who is divorced. Everything about our relationship is amazing. I won't go into detail but I'm confident he is sexually attracted to me (as I am to him) and emotionally, we share a great deal. In a perfect story, there is always something slightly imperfect though.
If you are a divorced man who has been through this, it would help a great deal.
I've never had a problem turning a man on (it's not so hard, really, no pun intended)... up until now. Well, he is turned on. But whenever the act of sex becomes more real, he backs off. He is unable to perform. He is below the age of thirty so the likelihood of this being a health problem is low.
I'm almost coming to the conclusion that this may be some sort of "post-traumatic" emotional problem he is dealing with from his divorce. He did love her and he was left heart-broken with the unexpected break-up... but from our conversations he is over it completely.
So what can I do? How did anyone overcome this? Help!
2007-01-30 16:20:21 · 7 answers · asked by ♥ariel♥ish♥ness♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Any kind of emotional anxiety or upset can prevent a man from getting a good erection. And it doesn't have to be the trauma of divorce. Even the excitement and anxiety of being with a new woman can make a man have a problem like that.
If he says that he is completely over his ex, then you should believe him and not make something out of his previous relationship that isn't there.
I think this is just a sex problem that needs to be solved in a sexual way.
One time, a sexually experienced lady showed me how to solve a problem like that, when I had a perfomance problem with her. And perhaps this is something you can try with your man.
Basically, she put lots of K-Y Gel on my hand, showed me how to masturbate her p u s s y, and told me to do it.
Not only did I really like touching and massaging her intimate pink like that. But soon she began to breathe heavily, her face flushed, her red lips became full, and she looked like she was about to loose control and orgasm right there and then.
It's her sexual excitement and pleasure that swept away all of my anxiety with her and allowed me to perform.
No man can be anxious about his performance with a woman when he has just brought her to the brink of orgasm with his own hand, and she is almost out of control with him.
Actually, I liked massaging her with my hand so much that I didn't want to stop, even when I was more than able to perform with her.
She struggled to keep herself from orgasming and frantically motioned to me to get on top of her and finish her off like a man. Which I did to our mutual pleasure and sexual relief.
A man can be anxious with a woman when he doubts whether he can please her well or not. But when her sexual pleasure is obvious and he is the one who gave it to her, then confidence fills his loins and drives him to perform with her.
2007-01-30 17:30:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As Bert said in his reply....your guy isn't completely over his divorce yet/he hasn't healed....and you need to ask yourself whether you were a rebound or not. If you are a rebound, this relationship may not last once your guy is healed. If he was honestly sexually attracted to you, he would have been able to follow thru with the act. I'm sorry that this may have hurt you, but don't let yourself get so wrapped up in this guy that you end up with a broken heart yourself....just take things a little slow, if he truly wants you, he will come around in time. Good luck....I hope this helps alittle.
2007-01-30 16:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by AngelEyes In SF 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For now, I would definately just stick to the dating. Sounds like he has alot of emotional problems that he hasn't gotten over yet and if both of you intend to be together, make sure you don't bring extra trouble into a relationship.
2007-01-30 16:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you're very close to the problem.
Saying he is over it and actually being are two different things.
My guess is that he did not file, he was served. I say this as it has been my experience that the one who files is ready to move on.
You know what to do... be kind, loving and supportive.
2007-01-30 16:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are probably just a rebound anyway
you are better off not having sex w/him
he probably has something wrong he doesn't want to share with you
why did his ex leave or divorce him
you need to talk with him if you want to see about taking this to the next level
something is going on if he isn't you know yet....ask. I know I'm curious
2007-01-30 16:57:12 · answer #5 · answered by it_is_what_it_is 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He has nt healed yet, if you care about him, sex should be the furtest thing from your mind, respect him.....God bless ya
2007-01-30 16:27:10 · answer #6 · answered by Bert 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have a large ego now do you? Did it ever occur to you that the problem just MIGHT be you?
2007-01-30 17:32:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋