Why is it so easy to clash with your parents?

Question

I'm 21, and due to unforeseeable, terrible circumstances, I've moved back in with my Mom. (I had lived by myself for 3 years.) My mom and I have ALWAYS had a wonderful relationship; I've never been a problem child - I go to school full time and work as well. My mom's a great person too, it's not anything to do with who we are as people - but we just get on each other's last nerve every day. We just pick at each other... and when we fight it's awful. We still have fun, we don't fight constantly - but why is it so easy? It has to be something psychological. I think on my end - I'm annoyed by the things she does that I get from her. Does that make sense? But it's more than that - and although I'm not a teen, it's that classic teen and mom relationship. Why is it so easy to clash with your parents? Especially same sex

Answer 1

The parent/child relationship is difficult at best most of the time. This is because it is a relationship that has to evolve over time, from one of complete care giver to one of peer. When you were young your parents had complete responsibility for you. They did everything, and as you grow they have to learn to back off and give you space, which is difficult. The child also faces these challenges, going from a complete dependent role to an independent adult role. So conflicts are bound to arise during this evolutionary process. The truth is now that you and your Mom are just trying to establish some new boundaries. You say you pick at each other, well that is see how far each can go. Your relationship is different now and needs to be redefined. Plus you are right, you can see parts of yourself in your mother. This can also cause conflict, especially when we see things that annoy us about ourselves. But believe me it will be fine. Trust the love you have for each other.

Answer 2

I'll bet if you think about it you are alot like your mom. And since you had your own home for three years it is a bit of a set back to move back home....almost like being a kid again. Then you add in the classic Mother/daughter thing...well, your gonna get on each others last nerve. It's bound to happen...and totally normal.
Take a moment or three and think about what is really bothering you about being back at home or with your Mom. Then make a decision about talking to your mom about what is going on in your head and heart. If you have always had a good relationship then you'll be able to work things out. But it's gotta start somewhere...

Answer 3

I don't really feel I have the time Nor enough room here to answer correctly. I have raised 5 girls and am now clashing with 4 of the 5. why? I haven't changed. But maybe I need to let them grow on their own. It's hard for moms to not be moms on that end of being a parent. we still want to be there for them and keep them in the right direction. Things our kids see now is the difference in our world. That I feel maybe I miss. I am not real sure how to answer this right, But? I do know how she feels and you as well. To put it into words? this honestly is hard. Take care and know that I am sure she loves you to.

Answer 4

It could be that your mom has been around the block so to speak, and knows from experience whats right for you in her mind. But, like every other young adult, you have to learn on your own. The hard way. Want to break the cycle? All you have to do is recognize when a confrontation is about to occur. And defuse it by saying , hey mom ya know what? maybe your right. Try it just once ,it may open her eyes too.

Answer 5

Your details were to vague for me to tell.
My parents were just too domineering and I never went back after leaving at 18. Parents just want to still be the boss. (at least mine) Yours, IDK.