I am trying to go to a marriage counsellor with my husband, but i am worried that the therapist wont see the real him. My husband seems to have an abiity to have a cool calm and reasonable front that is anything but what he is really like to to live with. So many people believe he is like this all the time. I am worried that a marriage councellor wont see this and will only see me who fumbles with her words whenever she gets upset. So many friends and family only see this side and only a few have seen glimpses of another side when he gets mad. Has anyone had experience with this?
2007-01-30 14:41:11 · 12 answers · asked by Miz_Jasmine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To be honest he's not really all in for the marraige counselling I said i was trying to get him there at the moment he is acting as if Iv'e put a gun to his head and forced him.
2007-01-30 15:01:19 · update #1
Yes, we can see thru the lies and acts.
2007-01-30 14:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by lady_blu_iz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage counceler can pick up on things that you may of never noticed before. If you get an experienced counceler then they should be able to see right through him. Nice acts don't go too far with them. Besides you're going to hit a nerve sooner or later and they'll see his reaction.
2007-01-30 14:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I would go anyway!! they have a way to open him up so he might tell the truth. Just go what have you got to loose? At least you get to tell your side of it and he has to listen because the councellor is in the room. I know what you are going through i have problems too. I'm at my end as well Good Luck keep strong
2007-01-30 14:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all see through.
I had an ex that manipulated a counselor beyond my wildest dreams. We explained the issues and over a period of months...he succumbed to his control. Had him brain washed practically.
One day I just stood up during the hour, shook hands, and said "goodbye, we will never meet again"
I think it was my ex's personality. Self righteous, know it all, manipulative. He would criticize me constantly and then get the counselor to say I had an anger problem when I became defensive.
I wouldn't say all do this..but this was my experience...and my marriaged ended over it.
2007-01-30 14:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No they can't see through it they try to help people who want to help themselves. They aren't into games. They assume you're there to be honest and fix a problem and that my friend, takes a team. If he's not on-board drop the marriage counselor and go see a therapist for yourself. It will be worth it in the end.
2007-01-30 14:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy Pants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes they can yes but that all depends as some people are good actors and can act really well... I am glad he is going to counseliing with you... Keep going with him and dont knock it... This is a big step for him and for you marriage if you ask me... If she asks him something personal and that bugs him he just may show his true colors and get mad or angry someday... You just never know! Wait until she asks him something he is uncomfortable with or does not like... Then watch out!
2007-01-30 14:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly where you are coming from. i went throught the same thing with my husband, and honestly i got sick of it and left. i couldn't stand that i was the one being honest and telling my true feelings and he wasn't. i wasn't going to keep going to counseling when i was the only one who wanted it. if he really wants to save the marriage then he needs to be honest and let the couselor know what is really going on, if he can't do that then you shouldn't waste your time. i really do hope for your sake that you can get this worked out, but if not just know you are not alone. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-30 14:52:14 · answer #7 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe they can if you get the right one may take more than one--my ex and I went to 5 diff counselors--they are trained to pick things up--they have studying psychology and if they have been in the field for awhile they get it. They don't know either one you and can give an unbiased opinion--Like I said it took me 5 to get the right fit though--try and try again.
2007-01-30 15:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People put on fronts, it's just human nature. She'll see right through it, if she has a brain, yes she will. Denying and not admitting to his problems won't help your marriage. Is he being truthful? I think that's the key..
2007-01-30 14:57:12 · answer #9 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Truly depends on the experience, supervision, and mental health of the counselor. Some people really do fool therapists, but you will tell the counselor what he's like when he's mad, right?
2007-01-30 14:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This ebook might help you to understand what's wrong in your relationship and It also teaches what to do to try saving your marriage http://savemarriage.toptips.org
It helped me alot!
2014-09-25 22:42:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋