How to overcome shyness?

Question

I'm pretty shy when it comes to meeting new people, especially boys. Usually, after I know them for a while I open up. However, there is this one guy i've liked for a longg time and it seems like no matter what I just can't get over it. I'm so shy and nervous around him, I always feel like such an idiot with the things I say because I cannot relax. I just feel stupid, and like it ruins the time we spend hanging out, because I hardly talk.. never know what to say.. and whatever I do say comes out stupid. I have noticed more and more.. that I have become increasingly shy around other people as well. I guess I just have crappy social skills.

Is there any way I can get over this?

Answer 1

Picture yourself as a gregarious person and have that image in your head... then start pretending to be that person... it starts getting funner to talk to people and you'll do it naturally sooner or later...

Answer 2

you are in the wrong section. But i will try to help. Shyness stems from insecurity, low self esteem and low confidence. You have been socially conditioned to be shy, maybe because you were picked on, or did not have enough positive reinforcement as a child... unfortunately this has effected you as an adult (you are an adult arent you?) What i suggest is this. First. Realize most people are shy to some degree. Everyone has reservations when dealing with other people to some extent, everybody doubts themselves and has insecurities. You are not alone in the way you feel. Secondly, to deal with shyness you are going to have to be persistent, it is going to take time and practice. Start off with some very small things you could do. smile to a check out clerk and ask how there day is. build up from small to large. Analyze the way you think. Google "distorted thinking" and read up you may be surprised what you find, and eliminate any negative thinking patterns. Third. Be kind to yourself..and respect yourself. No one is going to do that for you. Do not put yourself down. Try not to dwell on things. What has happened has happened and look towards the future for improvement. ignore insults. Remember compliments. If you cant talk to people in real life, find a forum online for people who suffer from shyness. Read up on things you can do. You can escape if you really want to.

Answer 3

Oh yeah... but it will take some work. Just start being outgoing and friendly with people where it's safe, like at school or work. Say hi to everybody you pass, ask them how it's going. Anything to connect with them. It doesn't have to be clever, just say something. Pretty soon you will have accomplished two huge goals...
1. You will become very comfortable talking to new people casually. It will still be a little work, but you won't obsess over it as much as you do now.
2. People will really notice you and your popularity will soar. The byproduct of that (here's the beautiful part) is that people will approach you to talk. You won't have to force the conversation. All of this will work together very quickly and you will feel much more comfortable talking to your young gentleman. You will have much more confidence and he will likely be the one slightly intimidated because he will have also taken note of your outgoing personality.
Understand this, you will still be the same inside. But it will be a whole lot easier to talk to people. What you don't realize is that you have insights and talents that others will be interested in. You are pretty amazing your self! Don't let bashfulness trap you like that anymore. The more you practice the easier it gets and pretty soon you will really enjoy the freedom to talk with people. You will still need personal time alone to recharge, but you can have that whenever you need it. Please forgive my boldness but I've attached a link to a previous answer that might help with the broader picture...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Akiu_fNdmoeTRvytkFtahNHsy6IX?qid=1006050517615&show=7#profile-info-AA11407016

Answer 4

I was shy and its very painful when it comes to opening up to anyone let alone a stranger. I envied people who were good story tellers as they could get every ones attention and when I tried it I know I was just boring and I would bore my audience to death. What I did was be in a play and I had to learn lines in a play. Yes, I had stage freight but it helps to practice what you are going to say to people before the event. You are not alone. I had a shy girlfriend and I always cherish our time together as she was a real sweet girl. This could be an asset if you as there are a lot of people who wish their mates were more shy! LOL...if you take Dale Carnegie or Toastmasters they would help you overcome your phobia..good luck

Answer 5

You can overcome this. It will take time, but be persistent. The best recommendation I can give you is to read the book,"Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" By Susan Jeffers. This book will dramatically change your Life, and it is easy to read. Read it. It won't take very long and you will feel so good about yourself and how you relate to others, that shyness will soon become a thing of the past. I guarantee it. Look this book up.

Answer 6

There's a book called "The Worry Cure" that sort of deals with this scenario. You're shy around him because you're afraid you'll say something stupid. You want to seem perfect around him, but because you're so shy everything you say comes out stilted... right? You should read this book... it has some great suggestions about overcoming this sort of thing.

Answer 7

I used to be very much like this, and often times i still am. But what you have to do is find a group of friends who are very accepting (this may be hard).

Build your confidence talking to them, and if they are social have them introduce you to other people. The best way to get over shyness is to have someone there, backing you up.

You just gotta take that first step.


Good luck!

Answer 8

i am like that too, a good way i get over it is just to think were all human and there's nothing different between ppl, and if your that bad , then chat on the internet some that helped me!! i was so shy that i didn't like going to ring a friends doorbell to see if we could hang out!!! yah i was that bad but after a while i just grew outta it, everyones the same there's no reason to be shy, if you like him look for signs to see if he likes you to

Answer 9

40000 Cured Social Anxiety - http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?pteC

Answer 10

Take it day by day. I went through that before so I know what you are going through. I would just sign up for extracurricular activities at school, step out of your comfort zone, and take it with baby steps.