Why is it that so many husbands/wives stay with a spouse that has cheated on them..Are they really that naive and stupid to think that their spouse really loves them..Just my opinion but if a person cheats on their spouse then they really and truly doesnt love that person cause if they did they never would have cheated..There are other ways to solve problems in a marriage..Cheating is NOT the answer..I have read that a lot of people stay in a marriage after a spouse has cheated cause of their kids but why stay with someone that has made a fool of your and broke ur heart..I think the non-cheating spouse and their kids deserve better then living with a lying cheating untrusting person..anybody agree with this.
2007-01-30 14:18:25 · 15 answers · asked by lauren l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
neither 1 smarty pants
2007-01-30 15:05:32 · update #1
I agree in a sense. If a person cheats once and then he's truly sorry and promises to never to it again and then keeps his word I think I would find it easier...not easy though to stay with him. But in my case it was obvious that my ex was seeing somebody else, I even followed him and saw it, and he still called me crazy and denied it to the end. So I knew it was no use, I couldn't take it any longer. My husband now knows because I have made it clear if he cheats once, its over and I'll stick to it.
2007-01-30 14:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Those people" are human and so are the cheaters. It's a very personal and difficult decision between a man and a woman. My question to you is --- what's it to YOU, really?
A marriage should not necessarily be thrown away because of an indiscretion. IT doesn't always mean that there is not love in the marriage.It is obviously the symptom of larger problems. Love is not a light switch to be turned off or on. Marriage should not be joined in to (nor broken apart) so easily.
Those who choose to throw a marriage out may never have really loved the person in the first place. The underlying issues that lead to the cheating can be worked out through committment and counseling - and often come out stronger through the experience even as painful as it is. Reconciliation is strictly up to the spouse who knows the other better than anyone does. I believe in second chances (but no more than that) and would want the same from my spouse if I made a poor decision.
2007-01-30 22:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think some people stay because they fear the future, they love the spouse unconditionally, they believe the spouse still loves them, they have no self worth, and they doubt that they can find anyone else. but if they cheated on u and chose to solve a problem by going outside the marriage, they just made the problem bigger. no one deserves a cheating spouse, or needs to stay with one, as there will never be peace with this person again. guess some people just have so much hope and love they just can't see their self with any one else, or by their selves. but if they cheated on u they really don't love u, maybe never did love u.
2007-01-31 07:14:07 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes l agree with you to a point. I am one of those silly women who stayed with my husband after he cheated on me. Call it silly if you will but we had 30yrs of marriage together and a lot of those were very happy years. I do not believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater ". I believe everyone deserves one second chance, well most people anyway. We are all human and we all make mistakes. I also believe that a lot of us learn by our mistakes and if there is enough love between two people they can right almost any wrong, cheating and all.
2007-01-30 22:42:41 · answer #4 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree. If I was with a man who cheated that would be it regardless of the kids. I would never trust him again and what is marriage without trust????
2007-01-30 22:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've either #1 suspect that you're being cheated on and turning your back on your intuition or #2 someone very close to you has been cheated on
Email me and we can continue the conversation, if you'd like.
juxtaposedhere@yahoo.com
2007-01-30 23:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy Pants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i totally agree, what astounds me is how many people out there that can just lie so easily and so conviently until their ready to make a decision and then its like " oh its been bad the whole time" lol hahahahah i say cowards for not telling the truth or airing their feelings to begin with.............its just an exuse to say they never really wanted the marriage to work they were just waiting for someone to take your place !!!
2007-01-30 22:33:30 · answer #7 · answered by willie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U Both have to discuss each other and should go for a counciling(family) so that both of u can know the mistaled from each side so u can find the solutions for that
2007-01-30 22:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by vijaya s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes once a cheat always a cheat
2007-01-30 22:34:57 · answer #9 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree plus it doesn't set a very good example for the children.
2007-01-30 22:36:41 · answer #10 · answered by hthr34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋