I have a husband of three months. We dated about 1 and 1/2 years. For me it was dear love and I told him so from the moment I knew. He was the kind that took time but eventually he fell for me. We married in October. He was the one that suggested it, last January. He asked to elope in October (my preference too)
Since that time, I have focused on the relationship. He has been loving but changing. He is Russian with all that goes with it. But all has been ok till the past couple of weeks. Things are escalating to moody and mean. No matter what I do, he is critical or sharp. He calls it nice when I complain. It is a sudden turn.
Now I have attributed to stress with work and immigration issues. I have suspected depression. I have thought many things...but it is not going well.
He is suddenly changing his behavior towards me one day or the next. When I say he has changed,...he says if I have, you made me. He is not drunk during these times, if that enters your mind.
2007-01-30 14:04:23 · 13 answers · asked by kishoti 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is unpredictable and mean. Then loving and understanding the next day...
Why? '
Did he stop loving me? What is the problem?
2007-01-30 14:05:22 · update #1
It feels like abuse. Really it does. And it is so different than what we built the relationship on...he even demands why am I not pregnant yet? (we planned on having kids). It is just awful sometimes.
2007-01-30 14:13:20 · update #2
Whether or not his mood swings are a chemical imbalance or spurred on by some sort of bitterness, there's only so much of that a person can (or needs to) take.
It sounds like he's all over the map. Maybe it's time to stop attributing it to anything; instead of assuming, confront him with the behavior. I mean, if you've been married only 3 months and none of these behaviors were evident prior to that, something is waaaayyyyy wrong. You either nip it in the bud now or just watch it get worse, because this kind of thing doesn't fix itself.
2007-01-30 16:00:17 · answer #1 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by this statement?
"He is Russian with all that goes with it"
I've known a lot of Russian guys over the years, and I really couldn't generalize about them - some of them were cool guys, some were jerks, and the rest were somewhere in between - JUST LIKE ANY OTHER GUY OF ANY OTHER ETHNIC BACKGROUND!
I can't generalize about all Russians no more than I could generalize about all White people or all Japanese people or all Black people - we're all individuals!
Maybe that's part of the problem - perhaps he feels that you don't understand him and are uncomfortable around him because he's from a different country.
Maybe that's why he's always giving you an attitude.
It's just a theory, but it could be the problem.
2007-01-30 23:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like hes really stressed, just try to be suportive and do little nice things for him. Hes just hit a rough patch. He still loves you, just other stuff going on in his life is bothering him right now. Just ignore the moodiness and ask him if theres anything you can do for him when he gets like that, like a massage or something to calm him down maybe. I hope that your problems all work out. Best of Luck.
2007-01-30 22:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by gothboylovur 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really need to get him to a doctor and get him a complete physical... He could have a disorder or depression.. He may need medication to help him and maybe even therapy or counseling. He also may be bi-polor or have a personality disorder. i hope you can get him help soon and that things will get better for the both of you and your marriage:)
2007-01-30 22:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he needs to see a doctor - he may be suffering from depression or a mental illness.
2007-01-30 22:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by sparrow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you speak to him as well as you wrote this? If you get flustered, write this all down, just like you did, and give it to him. Tell him that you love him and want nothing more than to make him happy. Ask him how.
2007-01-30 22:10:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like u 2 need counseling. i wouldnt say he doesnt love you, just that the change may be too great, that he doesnt know how to handle it. good luck!
2007-01-30 22:10:48 · answer #7 · answered by FireProoF 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think counseling would be the best option. It might calm him down a bit, at least. You're doing all that you can honey, so don't worry.
2007-01-30 22:28:02 · answer #8 · answered by Raielle Noma 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Heaven forbid that he didn't just marry you for citizenship! Now he may be showing his true colors?
2007-01-30 22:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by JADE 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's got the taint. He is probably playing around with another man and this is more exciting to him. To win him back smear bacon grease or better yet get bear fat and grease your self aboundantly with this since he comes from the bear country this should bring him around to aurousal.
2007-01-30 22:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by twatdise 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋