I love her and I don't want my feelings to hurt our relationship.
2007-01-30 13:51:32 · 15 answers · asked by terriarendt 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It is difficult, but you seem to be doing well.
Since your stepchild is not of your flesh you don’t feel the same attachment as you would to one of your own children. I am not talking about how you think; I am talking about how you subconscious works. Your instincts want you to save your love for you own children. So some resentment is natural. Of course you are more than just a human animal so you have risen above your instincts and you have genuine love for your stepdaughter.
Some mothers and fathers do feel jealous of their children. The adults may have come from a poorer family or had other disadvantages that they had to overcome. The single greatest goal of parents is to give their children the chances and opportunities that they never had. So some jealously is understandable.
The thing to do is to not become one of those “stage moms” who micromanage their child’s life. Then you need to take joy in her accomplishments. You can live a little of that own joy you missed in your childhood through her. Feel happy for what she is doing and what she can do. Get interested in her experiences and share them with her. You may only be able to do it from the side lines, but you will show support for your daughter, become involved in her life AND take some joy from the experience. This way you can live a little through your step daughter and not let it turn into a problem for your family.
2007-01-30 14:06:19 · answer #1 · answered by Dan S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Like Debi, envious of people who're all snuggled up, snug and keeping one yet another heat in the present day. i've got not had a 'snuggler' in extremely a on an identical time as. in any different case, i for my area am not. i seem stable for my age, ( I valuable do not mean to sound like a bragger right here as i'm very humble) i'm now getting healthful back on account that I had my knee surgical operation, i'm happy with the place I stay, i admire my existence, i'm a fortunate woman. How might I dare be fairly envious of all people else? i've got not continually had a great existence and it has taken years to get right here, yet i'm right here now, and that i'm grateful.
2016-12-13 04:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by killeen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 12 yr olds cooler than I was or am and personaly Im glad cause his moms a dork and Im part dork on my moms side I like to think that maybe I helped a little so may be you and I should be proud rather than envious I mean its kinda sad that we are cool vicariously through our kids but as a half dork Ill take cool any way I can get it
2007-01-30 14:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's normal. She's probably the perfect, most popular girl, and you probably weren't. It's understandable.
Talk with her dad about it. Tell him how much you wish you'd been like her. And maybe she'll let you do something fun with her, like go shopping or hang with her friends, if you explain this to her.
Hey, then you're hanging with the most popular girl in school! Lol.
Good luck!
2007-01-30 15:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends how much older then her are you? Is she close to her own mom? Try your best to repress these feeling's. And how long have you been her step mom?? Wonder why so many fairy tales have have evil step moms?? It is a hard place to be! Be glad she is in a loving open family where she can be herself! Remember we want better for our kids then what we had!
2007-01-30 13:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe what your feeling isn't envy, just maybe your life was never fullfilled the way hers is... look at the differences though. times change, don't you want your child to have everything that you never received in life? Most parents do, just look at it this way, she is lucky to have two parents who are willing to allow her to be who she is, maybe unlike your parents for that matter. if you still have resentment towards her life, maybe counseling would be best!
2007-01-30 14:00:52 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Novak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the adult, you need to get yourself together and move past this envy. Her situation and yours are two very separate and different experiences. Your relationship will certainly be adversely affected if you continue to allow the green-eyed monster to rear its ugly head.
2007-01-30 13:56:17 · answer #7 · answered by JADE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my step mother was the same way...i had to realize that this was a difference in the way we were raised...we had so much tension when she and my dad married that i had decided to hate her...then she pulled me aside one day and told me that she was jealous of the way my dad treated me and the things i had that she didn't have growing up...this really helped us out..talk to her about it...get her feelings on the subject
2007-01-30 13:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by tanks_girl02 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, its not normal. instead of wishing you had her life when you were a tenn, try and help her make it beter for herself. news flash, teens like to pretend thier lives are beter then they are to make thier parents/stepparents worry less and not try to interfear in thier lives. anyways, its not a perfect little picture if she has two moms (no offense of course)
2007-01-30 13:57:22 · answer #9 · answered by angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you feel the same if she were your biological child? I venture to say you probably wouldn't. Be honest with yourself and deal with the truth, you know what it is.
2007-01-30 14:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋