my husbands aunt lost her 3kids , they have been in foster care for the past 2 years. she lost them because of too much party and drugs. me and her do not get along we dont even speak because she is very voulgar well the kids are being placed in adoption and i would like to get them. my thing is i allready have two kids and with them it will total 5 financiay i can do it but it seems it will be a fam problem becuase no one is very fond of me bcause i am very out spoken i tell it like it is. well i have been feeling kind of sad that these kids are being bounced around like a ball from home to home and i want to offer the stability and the sence of security, a future a stable home,and a loving mom and dad . you think i should proceed? and if so should i let the mom be in the picture, my plan is if i do get them it would be only limited interaction for the reason that i want these kids to adapt to me and to keep them away from harm.
2007-01-30 13:41:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
mom still on drugs , kids are ages 6,4 and 1.
i dont really care if fam dont like me as long as i have the love of my kidsand husband thats more than enough, to the moon with the rest. i dont rely on anyones help but mine and bu hubbys opinion ofcourse.
2007-01-30 13:59:33 · update #1
I think what you plan to do is very admirable, and if you have the support of your husband, go for it. I don't know about the mom seeing the kids. I would certainly make it limited. You will be mom from now on if you choose to adopt them. Those children are lucky to have you.
2007-01-30 14:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i feel you should do this for those kids so they are not kept into foster care and placed with strangers and raised by them and not family.... Follow your heart and do what is right for these kids and adopt them if you can and if you husband agrees to it. You only let the mom be in the picture if she wants it and is not strung out on drugs or did something really bad to the kids.. Why and how did she lose them if i may ask? What do you mean by away from harm??? Is she clean from the drugs now? Is she getting help and going to parenting classes? You go girl! Get an attorney and go get those kids!
2007-01-30 13:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should first talk to the county to see if you are even eligible to adopt them. Second thing...consider that you are likely in for some major problems since the children are related to you by marriage via a person you apparantly still have contact with on some basis. Third, while it is honorable for you to open your heart and home, you are going to be attached to this woman even tighter if you proceed. Unless these kids are under age and won't remember her, they are likely going to want to keep some kind of contact with her. So if you can handle that, then proceed...but I say, proceed with caution. First things first, though. Talk to the county. Hope this helps and good luck!!
PS - I just read an answer you gave to another woman that she should "BEAT HER HUSBAND" like you do. Really? Then the kids are better off in foster.
2007-01-30 13:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a tough question. Your biggest challenge is that the family doesnt like you. That may cause a lot of strife and headache in your family if you decide to take on the additional 3 kids(especially if mom is in the picture). If you feel that taking those kids in will cause a dysfunctional atmosphere, I wouldnt do it because they be better off in foster care. But if you are able to provide an atmosphere that will not cause a lot of confusion, arguing, and strife....by all means adopt them.
2007-01-30 13:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you are willing you should adopt the children or have them stay with you...especially if there is no other family member willing to take on that responsibility. It is better for the kids to grow up with their biological family no matter how much strife is a part of that. Regarding the mother, she should be able to interact with her children. The children will always love their mother but they will love and respect you for giving them love, stability, saftey and a home.
2007-01-30 13:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by Forever_Young 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a good idea. There is too much emotional baggage there. There will surely be fighting, either verbal or physical. The kids do not need that in their lives. they need stability.
You may be concerned, but also may wish to prove a point.
Let go and let the kids have an opportunity to live some semblence of a normal life.
2007-01-30 13:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by sparbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very loving of you to offer to take onthree extra children!especially if you don't care too much for the mother.. I think you should proceed and keep the mother out of the picture for a limited amount of time to let the kids adjust.
2007-01-30 13:48:31 · answer #7 · answered by stephanie c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is something you should be talking over with your husband, these are kids of the family so you should try to help them out and try to keep them in the family but ultimately it would be a descision that you and hubby have to make, forget the rest of the family, seems like they helped enough at this point, by doing nothing and destabilizing the kids life anyway
do what you need to do, but if i were in your shoes i would take them in
2007-01-30 14:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can care for them, do it. Too many family's get torn apart, and too many family members that could make a difference don't for fear of creating problems.
Our role in life as mothers is not to get along with everybody, but to love, guide, and protect. Get busy and keep those kids together and in their own family!
To the moon with any of them who has a problem with it! It is not about them!!
2007-01-30 13:50:25 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a huge undertaking. I understand how you feel, but you don't want to destroy your own kids to accomplish this. I might do it and then move to a distant location to be away from the family and the mother need not be involved at all.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
2007-01-30 13:48:53 · answer #10 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋