Im a 24 year old stay at home mom and my son is a year old and im serious about going back to work getting my life back togther so i can support me and my son but i feel like my family is telling me that i made a miskate by having a baby. My grandmother told me if i want to work so bad why did i have a baby that really hurt me so much.. what do you think i should do?
2007-01-30 13:36:47 · 20 answers · asked by Kristine G 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
you have to prove them wrong and until then u will hear their bitching soory i went through the same with one of my grandparents
2007-01-30 13:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by undercovernudist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters I want to say I am so sorry that your Family is being so Judgementle towards you. It is never okay to tell a mother that her child was a mistake.All Children are a blessing. So you tried to be a stay at home mom, and now you want something more, That is not a bad thing. Deciding to go back to work has nothing to do with wanting a baby so bad. I give you top Kudos for wanting to take more control over your life to better yourself and your son, By being a happy momma, you will be an awesome Mamma. It's like they say "If Mamma aien't happy, AIen't nobody happy." Don't let those old school beliefs get you down. I know it is hard to not let it hurt, but you know what is right in your heart and you need to do what is right for you and your son. reguardless of what your family (very old fashioned thinking) are saying. good luck!
2007-01-30 13:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by curiousjules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you are leaving out of this story is that you want them to take care of your son for you so that you can go back to work, then I wouldn't feel hurt by their remarks. They are understandably resentful (even though they love you and your baby) that you are asking them to do the somewhat tedious job of raising a kid again after they already raised you! This is much much different from being relatives who have the freedom to pop in and visit you and love your baby and leave. With childcare, you are talking about a 10-hour-a-day job (at least that, and more if you want them to pitch in while you date and 'get your life back together')
I think you're asking a different question - how can I have a real life again after I'm tied down with this baby. The answer is that no one gets back the life they had before - except in a movie starring Jennifer Anniston where she gets to be cute and have a baby in the background somewhere while she works out her problems with George Clooney!
So hold on. Be secure in the knowledge that time passes and your adorable baby is the son who will love you for all this time you are his mom. Soon enough, they are teenagers! At the very least, by that time, you will already have a second start in life, no matter how slowly it comes along in fits and starts and new opportunities. A good job/childcare fit will come if you keep your eyes open for it.
2007-02-03 07:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to work like you wanted, but still care and love your son. At a year old he can get a babysitter or go to a daycare, they always have nice stuff that he can play with there. When he gets old enough to go to school things will get harder in someways and easier in some other. Keep working at getting organized that is what is going to help you the most, get a schedule to follow that would be the easiest thing to do. Maybe you could get a job that you could do at home that would make things easier still.
2007-01-30 13:44:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you would really appriciate their support and you dont like the fact that they dont support you and your son. Ask them if they thought you were a mistake and if she gave this same speech to your mom when she was pregnant. If that doesnt work tell her its your life and you make your choices because its things you want not everyone else and if she doesnt like it then she doesnt have to be a part of it. Which will more than likely change her mind because she wont want to lose you. But first Id definately tell her it hurts your feelings and makes you mad when they say things like that. And its not like you were 14 when you had him you were 23 years old, thats a perfect age to start a family. Good Luck.
2007-01-30 13:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry!
I know that it hurts that family tend to want to put their 2 cents worth in and not give a damn about who they hurt.
But you look to person #1!!
You do what you think is right and not let what they think hurt you even though it's hard not to!!!
Trust me I KNOW!!
You are the one that will be taking care of that little one of yours!!
Not them!!!
And your right!! By you getting a job, that will make life easier for the both of you and help you support your son and yourself.
You hang in there and let them think what they want.
Because when that day comes.... they will know that they were in the wrong, not you.
Your son is not a mistake!! He is a gift fom God!!
Don't let anyone tell you diferent!!
Good luck and God Bless!!!
2007-01-30 13:58:05 · answer #6 · answered by ♥~Momma In Love~♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when the people you love say mean and hurtful things to you. I think you need to let their comments bounce off and pretend you don't hear them. Don't let them get to you. It's good that you are thinking of going back to work and getting your life back on track. They should be proud of you instead of making comments like that. Keep on doing what you gotta do; do what's best for you and your son, and maybe in time, your family will come around and show their support. Best of luck to you!
2007-01-30 13:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by babybug74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No child is ever a mistake. Don't worry about what your family thinks, as long as you love him and take care of him, that is all that matters. You may not see it now, but someday when he is grown, and you need him, he'll be there for you. I doubt very much if any of them will be. He will remember and love you even more for all you do for the both of you. Hold him close and love him forever.
2007-01-30 13:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the comparable concern yet my mom develop into on my area. ok that is what you're able to desire to do and its no longer relaxing! you're able to desire to attempt to make excuses and evade them for a whilst untill they decide that something is up and ask you. Then tell them which you dont want to disillusioned them yet your son should not be hit and you will no longer tolerate it. they gets indignant although that is going to pass and that they're going to administration the bullies greater effectual. My sister and that i are superb now, yet for a whilst issues have been given tough.
2016-11-01 22:34:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should count your blessings. Give that child all the love you can, help him to grow healthy, both physically, spiritually and mentally.
Try to be a good role model for him and hold your head up high. You can succeed regardless of the opinion of others. Lots of luck.
2007-01-30 13:44:54 · answer #10 · answered by Ichiban 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not pay any mind to what they say a baby is such a wonderful thing. anyone can still have a life even with a baby. just get ur life back on track
2007-01-30 13:42:30 · answer #11 · answered by dixie girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋