Him and I have been together for nearly 2 years....Hes been acting weird since he got this job. We had a talk last week and he was really serious about the changes that needed to be made. The rest of the week, I really tried hard to make changes on my end, but he wasnt... I had a talk about it with him and then he tells me he needs me to leave, that he needs to think about things... Who he wants to become, where he wants to go, and what he wants to do with his life....Ive had a really hard time dealing with this situation, because I love him very much and want things to work between us.... So After deciding that I was going to stay with my mother, the day I planned to leave, he tells me "lets see how today goes" So I do, and it doesnt get any better... Later that night, we talked again, and he says he really needs me to go and to take a break....I was crying histerically and he did nothing but comfort me and tell me that he would figure out what was missing hin his life and he wouldnt.
2007-01-30 13:27:42 · 17 answers · asked by greygirl06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tear apart our family..... THat he still loved me and cared about me... that we wasnt doing this to me to go find another women... and to believe him and have some faith in him. That he still has hope for us and that we will grow old together... bla bla bla... So here I am at my mothers house with my son, and Im missing him terribly... What do I do to help convice him that we are meant to be together... That a marriage is FULL of ups and downs... I do I discourage him from looking for or at other women... He subscribed to Match.com today... Our fisrt day apart.... Please serious answers olny
2007-01-30 13:30:52 · update #1
sorry to say he's cheating
2007-01-30 13:32:58 · answer #1 · answered by can u ♥ moi? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jennifer,
That sucks! How convenient that he can just go and sign up for the Match.com and tell you he needs space??
I'd give him PLENTY of space.........OUT in space!!!!!
Is there any kind of prior problems that were creeping up before HE got the new job you mentioned?
I wonder why he'd act weird then mention something about needing changes???????????
Well, he needs to give you MORE to go on here than what he's saying and the way he's acting!!!!
You said you also have a child together? What about him/her??????
You should just tell this guy that you don't accept his sudden attitude change and ask right out if he wants a separation or Divorce! Don't let him make you hang on!
It's more painful what he's expecting you to do! Don't go for it! He's putting you on the spot, NOW, do it back!!!
Please don't let him treat you this way!
If another woman IS involved, just get rid of him and save yourself heartache!
Get Counseling for yourself!!!!!
2007-01-30 13:55:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I feel your pain. I'm so sorry you're going through this. There's nothing worse than loving someone who says they need a break. Its almost impossible to imagine letting go of them.
But thats what you have to do right now. He wants space? Give it to him. He subscribed to Match.com? What a narcissist. It's all about him to him. Let him have him. The selfish bastad.
Try to occupy your time with things that will get you though. Message boards helped me A LOT. Good message boards, where you can commisserate with others going through what you are. Keep busy, write a journal, and really be sure you want him back. Because if or when he comes back saying "I'm ready now honey, love me" you may want to tell him to jump off a bridge.
Good luck.
2007-01-30 13:39:36 · answer #3 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am much older and some wiser when it comes to men I do believe. In the scope of life 2 years is not a lot of time for a deep love to grow. If he is wanting space after so little time let him go and you get on with your life.Don't get sucked in to his game or any mans game of wait and see. I hope you have skills in the work place so you can take care of the kids as it is going to be hard at times. Good Luck and God Bless and you will be much happier in the long run.
2007-01-30 13:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by Tera F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who just went through this He is cheating and that is his way of justifying it...You need to sit down and figure this out dont just stay with him for the kids because it will be better for them to go back and forth than to live in a miserable house everyday where there is fighting and telling each other to leave. And the divorce word for a child is scary.
2007-01-30 14:13:59 · answer #5 · answered by Candice S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, I even have been right here in the past. My husband used to assert he's drained each and all of the time. we are youthful without young babies too and that i felt comparable to you. I informed my husband that i presumed he substitute into an inconsidered ***, for the reason that I artwork too. So i desperate to pass out and have relaxing with my acquaintances and merely began making plans activities without even asking him if he had to return. He quickly have been given the message and we made a deal that he could get sometime all to himself yet that we could continually spend a minimum of sometime together on the weekends. despite if, "the pass away by himself weekend" is utter crap!! It merely means that he needs to get remote from you... and why might he desire that if he would not have "different" plans?
2016-10-16 08:21:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing what you now know...it will be very difficult to trust him, even if he does tell you he would like you to come back and work things out. It sounds like he may have met someone at work that is leading a "free & single" lifestyle, and this appeals to your husband. Give him space and time. You cannot force someone to stay with you and love you the way you want to be loved. If he shows no signs of "finding himself"...cut your losses and move forward with your own life with your child
2007-01-30 13:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your husband is selfish, saying he needs space is trouble. Why would you want to be treated this way. Find someone who will treat you the way you deserve. Love works both ways. Sounds to me like he has other plans for his life and you are not in it. As bad as that may sound you are better off finding out early in your marriage, it is easier than to find out years later when you are older and become scarred from this. Move on you'll find better.
2007-01-30 13:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's leaving, and he isn't joining the priesthood.
Had a similiar experience myself last summer. She didn't join a nunery either.
Que sara, sara. Be there for your son. Rent a lot of DVDs ("Open Season" came out today, so you and he can watch that over and over).
God bless you.
2007-01-30 13:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to tell you this, but it seems obvious he no longer feels the same way you do. No matter how much we love someone, we cannot control their feelings. You pestering him is not going to change his behavior. Unfortunately, he will not realize how much he messed up and what he lost until its said and done. Like you, I'm hoping there is someone out there who can love me like i can love them. My ex girlfriend started acting like your husband. good luck, be strong for your child.
2007-01-30 13:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by budhagan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seperate and give him his space... sounds like he may be cheating if he is on dating sites... Is he cheating on you? I think right now you need to be away from him as you deserve better!
2007-01-30 13:36:57 · answer #11 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋