Why is it that many people are so rude when you are asked if you are breastfeeding and you mention you are using formula? I only ask because it has happened to me...my baby is 3 weeks old and I tried to breastfeed, went through lactation consultants, rented a hospital grade pump, and ended up with all sorts of problems. I ended up switching to formula which was a decision that alleviated my stress and made me much calmer with my baby...hence, I have a baby who now is also calmer and happier.
I know that breastfeeding has indisputable benefits, but I fail to understand why if you choose to formula feed so many people look down on you for it. I certainly want what's best for my baby...my decision was made because I was so stressed out breastfeeding that I didn't feel I could be a good mom for her when I was feeling that way. But now I have a lot of people telling me that my decision is wrong. I'd like to know why people feel the need to judge others with regards to this issue.
2007-01-30 12:45:37 · 33 answers · asked by kath_08012 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Unfortunately, these people exist. The same thing happened to me...and "part two" of you decision to formula feed is to not worry about these people who give you a hard time.
You just ENJOY your baby!
2007-01-30 13:22:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not a matter of right or wrong. Whoever is telling you that is wrong. The fact of the matter is even if you breastfed for 2 days that helped than none at all. It's a task and it's not for everyone and some women don't even breastfeed at all. But some women that do drugs, smoke, or have HIV or other diseases cannot or shouldn't breastfeed. Really the most important sip of milk was during the first couple of days because it was collustrum and not actual breastmilk, and it has all the nutrients that a baby needs. But really it isn't wrong if you don't. Because a few years ago you didn't hear anyone making a big stink about it. Breastfeeding is beneficial, but it's a fad. It's not like there's been people advocating breastfeeding real hard for 20 or 30 years. The baby will eventually will be on formula so there's nothing wrong with it. Formula has Lipil and other nutrients found in breastmilk. So don't worry about what people say. As long as your baby is healthy and strong it's your choice. You're not a good/bad mother if you do or don't... True enough breastfeeding helps tremendously, but you made a good effort and you did what you could so don't get discouraged by the comments and judgements.
2007-01-30 12:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From a mom who has breastfed her children I wouldn't dare judge someone who chooses or in your case was more or less forced into formula. It's a personal choice for my family breastfeeding was the best option and I haven't had any problems with it so that made it an easy decision. The people who are making comments are just judgmental people and if you were breastfeeding they'd find something else to judge you on. If it makes you feel any better I would get the glares of disgust because I breastfeed, even if you are completely covered people think it is okay to stare in disgust and make comments about breastfeeding. People seem to have nothing better to do than make themselves feel better by belittling others. So I would just not answer their questions and ignore the comments, you are doing what is best for you and your baby. A stressed out parent is not good for the baby so you made the right decision to switch to formula. Congrats on the baby and enjoy!
2007-01-30 13:21:36 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very touchy subject with some people. Most people that breastfeed exclusively are die hard breast feeders. I know that sounds weird but the people that I know that breastfeed their children would never think about using formula. I don't completely understand it because I formula feed my daughter and I am going to TRY to breastfeed my son that is due in seven weeks. These people that are looking down on you need to realize that it really isn't any of their business at all how you feed your child. Formula these days are just as good as breast milk. If everyone could breastfeed then there would be no need for formula.
Really try not to let these ignorant people bother you because they have no right judging you. You are doing what is right for you and your newborn and that is all that matters at this time. Good Luck with your new bundle of joy and just forget about everything else and just enjoy these days that fly by so fast.
2007-01-30 13:04:52 · answer #4 · answered by mommy of two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you tried, and really really tried. You went to a lactation consultant and everything, you did the best you could do and there is no reason anyone should be rude to you about feeding with formula. Some people dont realize that not every woman can breastfeed for many different reasons.
I have a friend who tried to breastfeed her son only once and gave up, at least you tried for a while.
Like you, when i have my baby this summer i will attempt to breastfeed and hope things go well.
Point is, don't worry what people say, you know you are doing the best you can for your baby. It's none of their business anyways, at least the baby is being fed and that should be all that matters.
Congrats on your new arrival :)
2007-01-30 13:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by Ravenfire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a true story. When I was having my second baby, the nurse asked if I would be breastfeeding and I said no. She did her little lecture on how I should really give it a try, blah, blah, blah. Then we were talking about her kids. She said that her youngest daughter is allergic to wheat, dairy and chocolate. I asked if she bottlefed. She got my point, and left me alone after that. You do what you want to do. People will tell you "Breastfed babies are smarter"-show me a study. "Breastfed babies get sick less" -you boil your bottle nipples before you feed a baby, where has your boob been? Honestly, think about it. My kids are now five and three, no allergies and hardly ever get sick. I wonder, how many of these "I am better than you" breastfeeding moms send their children to daycare at twelve weeks. It's the same debate there. Moms are moms no matter where they go or what they do. As long as we provide the best care we can for our kids, why does it matter? Congrats on your new miracle.
2007-01-30 16:17:43 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as long as you try that that is all you can do. I couldn't breastfeed past 2 weeks either my daughter has troubles just drinking the bottle so trying to breastfeed was not much fun at all. She is also lactose intolerant and me cutting out dairy was way too hard. I was actually told to stop and by the time I went to pump I barely had any. Good for you for trying and I think that people should keep their views to themselves. And you being not stressed formula feeding is way better than you being a basket case breastfeeding. Breastfeeding should be enjoyable not a chore. So you did the best a good luck. Don't listen to those who tell you any different.
2007-01-30 12:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by goodmommy22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have typed out answer after answer and keep deleting, because there just does not seem to be a valid reason... I think it is just because there is a "home team" type mentality at times for some... and we must support the nursers... or we must support the bottle feeders? or maybe because one or more heard "mean things" and carried it, instead of letting it go....... but truth is... I do not know why there are some women who do it.... I have seen insults flung from both sides though..nursing moms being called backwoods, and cows... and bottle feeders being called uneducated and selfish? and personally? I think it is a choice between each mother and HER baby.. and no one else has any business condemning it or otherwise...
hmmm.. wonder which point (or team) I am supposed to be on?? lol...
I nursed most of my babies it is true, for one plus years each mostly... but? I did so because it was my choice and my baby's... my second baby was primarily bottlefed.. and all the rest (I have six) I always have formula on hand.. and they have all had it... it may not be "exactly" like nursing... but it was good enough for me (in the late 60' and 70's it was considered better for a baby to be bottlefed... so most of us were) now they have all sorts of new benefits compared to then... dha etc.... so... if there ever is a real answer that gives us "why"? I would truly love to know... until then I think it is just a whole lot of hurt on each side... from hearing mean things said to them and then passing it on instead of ignoring it... or that home team mentality.... ?
2007-01-30 13:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never had any intentions of breastfeeding my child. I come from a long line of formula feeders. I work 40 hours a week in a nursing home where pumping is NOT possible. I wanted to spend that time bonding with my daughter. I knew I only had 6 to 8 weeks at home with her. So I chose to spend that time finding a formula and bottle that worked for us. Her dad got to feed her a lot, something he was SO proud to be able to do. And her grandma got to feed her. I had some complications after my pregnancy and needed a LOT of help. Things worked out great for us.
I got a wretched response from my co-wokers (nurses) about my decision to formula feed. But I stuck with it, because it was right for me and my baby.
And, for the record, the Enfamil AR ready to feed was the only thing she could keep down.
2007-01-30 12:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by ShellyLynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree, I b/fed my son for 1 week before I was told by the nurse I had to start formula because he was loosing too much weight. My Daughter I b/fed for 2 days and the same thing happened. Ppl look at u and judge u because u are not doing the right thing in their eyes.
R they getting up every hour or so because the baby is not getting enough food? I used to say that to ppl and put it back on them. My son would cry every hoUr cause he was hungry and as soon as I put him on formula he slept though the night. Most importantly u and ur baby r well and not stressed.
Good luck :-)
2007-01-30 13:07:11 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Booh♥ ☺☺☺☺☺ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem exactly.... breastfeeding was a horrible experience... way more painful than labour and delivery!!! I switched my baby to formula on day 9... I had to be hospitalized with an infection due to the c-section, and was put on isolation, so she couldn't be with me.
Why do I have to explain and justify my reasons for not breastfeeding? My baby is very healthy, and formula is a terrific alternative to breastmilk. I even have men looking down on me!!!
My theory was.... if Mom is sour about breastfeeding... so is the milk.... an unhappy stressed out Mom, is an unhappy stresssed out newborn!!!
2007-01-30 13:03:36 · answer #11 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋