What do you think of my new poem?

Question

You are on the back of a giant eagle
arms outstretched
legs firmly locked so as not to fall

He dives

Your heart is pounding in your ear

And the only thing on your mind

Is the sound of the wind rushing past your face

You know this and this alone
that it somehow comforts you
to know that when you fall
there is something to slow you
to keep you company
and if you have a parachute, guide you safely to the ground
back to where you started in the first place

Answer 1

ummm, keep workin on it.

Answer 2

Poems written in second person are always a problem because it sounds as if the author assumes he is something that he is not: psychic.
Rework it to describe the scene from YOUR perspective to the audience: first person. Include YOUR emotional release when you realize that you won't crash and burn, tho you had feared that.

Answer 3

So-so. The transition from the eagle to the parachute doesn't work too well, but it's good emphasis.

Answer 4

It doesn't flow. The lines just kinda end abruptly. "Sometimes, it takes a lot of revisions to make things better, not always perfect, but better."

Answer 5

Maybe singing or drawing is more your thing. But the question is, do YOU like it and do you like doing it. If you do, then who cares what we think.

Answer 6

Good try though!,but I think you should try to read other poets poems to get the hang of'' EXPRESSION''!!!,I'm a poet.

Answer 7

I did like it very interesting.....nice landing

Answer 8

I thought it blowed

Answer 9

keep on working at it buddy

Answer 10

nice..a new path or modern methodology of poetry