Give me your very best tips for raising a 16 year old teenager please. What are your best ideas?

Question

Please give me ideas to create more structure in his life and make him realize that the future is whatever he does now to attain that dream.

Answer 1

First you have to ask him what he likes and what makes him happy. And then say for example if he likes art or music. You have to be active with him and show him that there is more to art and music. You have to participate in his happiness. One thing that we must learn as parents is that we can steer our children all we want to but we must let them decide for themselves. In your case i would consider being more active in his life. As a parent in order to be most effective in providing structure and a strong foundation for our children we must push ourselves aside and know that they are individuals and that they have a mind too. They are growing up and you must be there no matter what. You must be an example for your son. Just telling him that he can do anything is not enough. First you can sit with him and talk with him and encourage him. If he is into sports you have to try and get out there and support him. You also have to be open to him and what he feels. right now he is going through a time where he is trying to assess his feelings about different issues that may be going on through his life. Now of course he may not be as open with you but in any relationship communication and accessibility is key. You must provide him with an avenue of trust security and esteem. Meaning no matter what he does when ever he does not succeed you must be there to encourage him to go on. You are now at the turning point in his life where he will be more likely to listen to his friends other than you, so there is influence in his life and you have to be that dominant influence. As a mother it is your duty to make sure that he is raised like the person that you believe that he should be. You have to make him do things that he would normally not do and you have to make him earn the things that he has. Like privileges. Going out with friends, having a date etc. You have to make him understand that if he chooses to be an adult he has to take on the adult responsibility. You have to teach him responsibility, honor and balance. These things will help you out. Also you have to let him know that he has to work for everything that he wants in life and that nothing good comes from taking the easy way out. But you have to be an active participant in his life and you have to lead by example. You can t tell him how to attain something worth it in his future if you are not doing it with him. He is still a child no matter how grown he may seem or think that he is . You must be an active mother and be involved in every aspect of your child's life. If he doesnt want to talk then just give him his space but be open for him to come see boys and girls are totally different. But you can do it just be patient. all things come in good time. Just pray and if your relationship is not as good as you want it to be. Sit with yourself and evaluate what you are doing as a parent and then go to your son and have a honest heart to heart and dont keep things from him and also there is a fine line between being a parent and a friend. You have to be firm yet loving meaning when you say no that is what you mean and that is that. Children like firm. even though it may hurt you more than it hurts him you have to do it. And just like i said earlier, if he wants something he was to work for it. If not he will be like these kids that you see on the Dr. Phil Show that you can't control and are still living on you even when they are 30. If you dont want a child that will mooch and live off of you for the rest of your life. You have to be there and be firm. You also have to let them experience adult things like paying a bill or getting a job to pay for the things that they want. That would give them a since of pride and responsibility. And also you have to be able to trust your son. And if he feels that you will not judge him then he will come to you even when he doesnt want to. But BE FIRM yet GENTILE. you can do it. Hope it helps God Bless. if you have any other questions you can email me at [e-mail]

Answer 2

I have a 16-year-old daughter (she's an only child). The two of us are especially close because Mom is the career woman and works 30 hours a day. Dad (me) was there for her from the beginning. As has already been stated, that's the key. When you raise kids, their needs come first. Get close early and it'll be a lot easier. I can take my daughter anywhere. She's well behaved, well liked, and rather mature for her age because of that closeness we've always had.

Answer 3

I think you answered your own question. The thing is with parents is that they think they failed if their children didn't meet up to their expectations. But you must realize that the best thing you can do as a parent is teach your child good morals, values, and to motivate them hands on to be the best that they can be in life and to be a well rounded person that can grow into a sound and mind adult. It is the responsibility of the parent to be a role model because a child's learned behavior comes from their parents. So you can teach them right all day long, but if they see you doing something wrong, they will do it most likely. So it's up to you to let your child learn from your mistakes and to live vicariously without going through the same thing. Be involved in his life but give him his own space to find out his own self identity and purpose in life without you being too invasive and without him feeling smothered.

Answer 4

Well first off .....my hats off to you ...raising a teenager is the hardest job in the world !!!
My mum was the best mum in the world ...reason why ...is becasue she let us do our thing ...she understood that we all go through "phases" ...so if we wanted to do something with our hair or go out with friends ...it was all cool !
BUT ..the most important thing my mum did with all 5 of us ...was ....LISTEN ...she was always there if we had a problem with 2 open ears ...she NEVER judged us and knew in her head that when she was young she did all the same things ...and that we would all grow -up one day !
Hope this helps ....be proud of your son and TRUST yourself as a parent !! He will turn out JUST FINE!!!

Answer 5

I hate to say it, but hopefully you started 16 years ago. Cuz by this time, you're almost done raising him. You've given him roots, and now it's time to give him wings.

My teenager (he's 18 now) always wanted to be heard and respected. I told him that he had a voice, but not a vote. So I always listened to his opinion and thoughts... but the final decision was mine because I am the mom.

Answer 6

I raised two and have one more in the house. I have to tell ya, by this timeeither they get it or they don't. We withold outtings and social things like dances, trips to the mall, and no grades, no driving. This seems to keep them at least at a C level. Harping does no good. you are wasting your breath. Just be consistant and when they bring a good grade home, have a party! LOL

Answer 7

salaam. i propose try talking to human beings. approximately something. Get a verbal substitute going. See what it leads to. don't be afraid o take possibilities, make blunders, and get messy! wish that helps.

Answer 8

When you have the answer can you share it with me please??? Best advise I have is to stay active in his life. Keep him involved in activities that you can be involved in. Keep friends who have kids his age that you approve of. This just makes him secure in himself, plus lets him explore his interests. Let him dabble in as much as possible...just try to do it with him.

Answer 9

Well use grounding and taking his prize possesions away, ex ipod stereo, tv) that always got me!