Ok so here is my problem....I am dating a WONDERFUL guy and I have been for about 5 months. The first 3 months were OUT OF THIS WORLD....I moved in about 3 months into our relationship and it was great!
I have always been in dramatic relationships and so this is new for me. He is very nice and I feel as though I am losing interest in him???? He is so great I dont understand why?
What can I do to get those feelings back...I am willing to do councelling....ANYTHING!
2007-01-30 11:51:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The spark that you feel during the beginning of a relationship fades very quickly. If you are willing to give it time, and build a relationship based on trust, mutual respect, and true love, not the lighting that you once felt called lust, than your relationship will mature into something quite special. If you can accept that, than you will finally feel something light years beyond the quick spark you once had.
There is always the possibility that your man is not a good lover, in that case bail out before you make any children....you can't make butter with a tooth-pick.
2007-01-30 12:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by gibson_slayer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know some people who are are the nicest most lovely and logical people in the world but when it comes to relationships their partners lose their flavor as quickly as chewing gum! I would suggest that too much nice can sometimes generate a lack of interest! If this guy is like a magic carpet to you then you will feel so safe you will feel like you don't need him. If he suddenly created a massive doubt in your mind about his sincerity how would you feel? Lets say you find a note in his pocket with a mobile number and a note saying "Love from Sally XXXX" would you suddenly feel interested again? I'll bet you would.
Its probably not your fault - i think you've had too much of a good thing and its made you complacent. I think its partly your partners fault for not realizing that you ALWAYS have to create some intrigue and interest in a relationship and keep things interesting (and you don't have to be unfaithful to do it).
I really should be speaking to your guy and give him a few tips about not spoiling his girlfrend etc
I hope you can get things in perspective and consider the alternative before you do anything drastic and move on to another parnter.
Some guys really do think that they have to be this fairy tale character who is perfect in every way and this does work for some women but sometimes the up and down, a row here and there, and testing of interest in each other works just as well!
Good luck!
2007-01-30 20:05:47 · answer #2 · answered by 9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal that you feel that way. The first month after I moved in with my bf, I felt like the sparks were gone. I was quite devastated, thinking that I've made a big mistake. But you know what, we talked and we began to make golden house rules like making sure we spend at least one full day together while not restricting ourselves from going out with our friends. We also started to romanticise each other again like he would surprise me with a simple I LOVE YOU note. It's almost three years now and the flame is still burning :-)
2007-01-30 20:31:48 · answer #3 · answered by snoringcouchprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you moved in WAY TOO QUICK! You have to get to know someone before you know if they are the love of your life. That's why it's called "Dating". Not "moving in"!!! He simply isn't the one if you've lost interest already. You've only been dating 5 months for goodness sakes. Oh, and counseling is for people that have been together for years....not months. Take this as a sign to move on honey. Or you may move out and find you enjoy his company again...you just were not ready for such a big step like MOVING IN yet!!!
2007-01-30 19:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by CherBear 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All relationships have highs and lows. Around 3 to 6 months, a low will come. Ride it out, hang in there, remind yourself why you're with this man. Don't let him go just because you miss the drama. You'll be so sorry if you do.
2007-01-30 19:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by Aiden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I would suggest is asking him about it and being honest with him. hat way maybe he can do something to spice things up for ya or maybe you will change your mind about him too. Always remember to be honest with each other.
What's so great about drama? Drama gives me and a lpot of other poeple a headache. Romance and honesty is the key to a mature relationship as well as forming a familiar bond with each other as a couple.
Just talk to him about it and be as nice as you can so he knows you still care and knows you still want him.
2007-01-30 19:58:02 · answer #6 · answered by Cuppycake♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have self destructive behavior. You are not allowing yourself to be happy for some reason. Was it something that happened in childhood? You need to figure out what it is and change it otherwise you will never be happy. Someday you will kick yourself for letting this great guy go. It sounds like you should go see a therapist alone it has more to do with you not you and him.
2007-01-30 19:56:04 · answer #7 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try finding ways to "mix" things up with the two of you.......try some special date nights together........sometimes when you move quickly in the beginning the settling down feels like a let down, but if you want you can find ways to adjust your life together so it doesn't feel like you are in a rut
2007-01-30 19:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by irish eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋