please be respectful I really want to know. Thanks
2007-01-30 10:58:10 · 7 answers · asked by sharlene l 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I guess my gf and I at one time qualified as swingers before we met as we had both had pretty much been there done that with whoever struck our fancy at the time. When we began getting serious we maintained we would continue to have an open relationship, however before either of us acted upon it we came to the same conclusion- we were enough for each other and that part of our lifestyle ended. Just because it worked out that way for us doesn't mean it's right or wrong simply they way we feel about each other. Personally we don't have any hangups about it or any that chooses that route as many of our friends are still in that lifestyle. Odd as it may seem to some people they are also the ones that respect the choice we made to be monogamous more than our non swinging friendswho openly claim oppossition to swinging only to go on to say they think it would be hot. I think what it boils down to is that when it comes to sex far too many people are repressesd and/or take the view that it's wrong under certain religious or moral beliefs they hold and fear the idea of swinging and misunderstand the reasons people are involved with it. we've known couples that upon finding out we were once swingers stopped socializing with us out of fear we were going to try to "convert" them to the lifestyle which is silly. All couples I know that do or have been swingers know and respect boundaries better than most other people I know. Were we to decide at some point to rejoin the lifestyle it wouldn't mean we love and value each other any less but rather that we were at a point where we we're comfortable and secure enough to do so. Swinging is about freedom, choice, and expression and granted it's not for everyone but for those whom enjoy it- so be it.
2007-01-30 13:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by bi_tgrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I are NOT swingers, but I don't have anything against them personally. But I seriously have to question how a relationship can be healthy in a 'swinging' relationship. Where does the commitment lie?
I read an article once that said 70% of women who are married and have swinging relationships only get involved because of their husbands insistence. That they would rather not be involved in swinging.
Personally, I love, cherish, respect and adore my wife too much. I could not stand the thought of her being with someone else. At the risk of sounding graphic, but I sort of take a bit of pride in knowing that I can 'take care' of my wife in the bedroom. That sounds a bit weird, but it is important to me.
2007-01-30 11:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People believe that once ur are married, u should only be with ur spouse... BUT, if u and ur partner are in a good, solid and committed relationship and u want to find new ways to pleasure each other, then I don't see anything wrong with being a swinger... Like a woman who is married, but attracted to women... She wants to be with a woman, and watch her man get pleasure from another woman... Everyone has different opinions, so no one is right, and no one is wrong...
2007-01-30 13:19:30 · answer #3 · answered by buddahbump 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can answer this question from personal experience. I dated a guy for a while and his friends seemed nice. They were the touchy, feely type, but who am I to criticize? About a month into the relationship the guy, myself and 5 of his friends were sitting in a restaurant when someone jokingly made the comment that the only person sitting at the table who hadn't f*cked my date's a$$ was me, his date! I looked at him and was mortified. I immediately left. We spoke later and he explained that he and his friends shared sex just as they shared their friendship. He could not be monogamous. It was one of my concrete criteria. We remained distant friends. I freaked out because I was unable to imagine the loss of "control" that would occur. I couldn't imagine someone pleasuring the person I love and fought to maintain a relationship with. While some say that monogamy is not natural, I can entertain the idea. However, I want to wake up with someone who knows me, my life, and the memories I have.
2007-01-30 12:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by GayForPay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people are generally uncomfortable with others who are deviant from the norm. whether it is swinging, being gay, being transsexual, etc.. heck, many people feel uncomfortable with me being a virgin.. they just don't understand how anyone could be different from what they consider the norm.
personally, i would never swing, as i want sex to only ever happen with the woman i marry.. i don't view it as a social activity to do with strangers.. but you know, one of my best friends is a swinger and although i don't understand why she enjoys this or why she feels the need to do it, i don't let it get in the way of our friendship. we have many other things in common..
people need to focus on commonalities in friendships.. no 2 people are alike, but we should all be able to get along and be accepting and tolerant of areas where we differ.
2007-01-30 11:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can only speak for myself but swingers come off as uncommited to me. More power to you, but not sure I could have an open relationship as it were.
2007-01-30 12:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by collegedebt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people are uncomfortable around anything that messes with their learned ideas of right and wrong esp. sexual oriented stuff
2007-01-30 11:07:36 · answer #7 · answered by Josephus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋