It has been 7am,9am, hell sometimes he doesn't make it in until the next day if he does he'll go straight to work.He has an erectile dysfunction so he takes viagra mind you he is only 38.. I am concerned that he is out with another woman.He assure's me he's not, but once a liar alway's a liar.. What are your suggestions, we have been together 8 years and this is a fairly new trend he has started and frankly I am tired of dealing with the BS !!!
2007-01-30 10:12:56 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have reasons to be concerned, hon.... he's got another lady, maybe two, and you are "the jerk in reserve"..... and you know it.
Find some proof, or not, but in your place, I filed, and left.... I don't share..... he was sharing..... outa there....
Never share, hon... If you are a neat lady, you deserve a faithful husband.... If he is not interested in counseling, (doubtful he would be ) your marriage is in the toilet. When the trust is gone, Admiration and Respect are there too, since he has shared the Passion with someone else... and hon, those are the four things that make a marriage.... and you have none left for him. (and he sure as hell has none of these four for you....) Realize that even if he stops the crap, it is two years in counseling before your marriage will heal, and that is no guarantee ---- ask any counselor.... Betrayal is THE dealbuster in marriage... about everything else is negotiable
2007-01-30 12:24:58 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think he is drinking and acting the way he is because he is depressed? The reason I ask this is, he is 38 years old (which is young) and taking viagra. He is probably depressed because he is taking a pill at this young age and this pill was known for men 60 years and up. Now that doesn't excuse the fact that he is behaving the way he does because I think he is wrong for doing it. There are two reasons I think a man turns to drinking alcohol constantly. 1 being that he is an alcoholic and he needs help and 2. He is drinking a lot to hide something that is bothering him.
To answer your question, you should let him know whre you stand and what you are about to do (walk away from the marriage). Tell him exactly how you feel and if he doesn't listen and straighten up, then my dear, I think it will be time for you to move on.
2007-01-30 10:40:49 · answer #2 · answered by stergre1975 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya know when i go out to do any gambling i do my drinking at the casino cause it's free. I can sit in a casino for easily 24 hours at a stretch and not even consider hitting on other women.
While you may be tired of the BS, you might consider he's tired of you and needs to get out of the house.
It's easy for people to accuse their spouse of cheating, or atleast suspecting it. If you are not happy with the situation perhaps you should suggest counseling. However, you might consider that he has an addiction to both drinking and gambling and these are serious addictions that need treatment to overcome.
2007-01-30 11:31:27 · answer #3 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your marriage, but I know that I wouldn't put up with my wife staying out gambling, or for any other reason, all night long. Not frequently, or even once every ten years. I've never done it, and neither has she. Since this is a new behavior, He probably is either cheating, or using coke. Few would blame you if you give him an ultimatum- "Cut this crap out, or move out. You can play all night, or you can be married. You can't have both." And then, follow through. Losing a guy that is out every night won't be much of a loss.
2007-01-30 11:22:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husbands play serious poker and a game can last into the wee hours. I would be more concerned about the drinking and then going to work. As far as another woman .... I really don't think so. If he has E.D. he probably doesn't want to face the problem or think about it when he's away from you. Actually, maybe that's why he's spending more time away...he feels more like a man around the guys than he does with you.
2007-01-30 10:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is definately trying to deceive you. There's no way he's just hanging out until 9am. There's a lot more going on than he's telling you and I would lay down the law to him. Tell your husband that unless he starts coming home at a decent hour and working on your family life that you'll have no alternative but to start divorce proceedings. Maybe that will be the wakeup call he needs to bring him into line!! Good luck with it.
2007-01-30 10:41:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you two talked about this without arguing? It sounds like he is putting a strain on the marriage. It also sounds like he could be involved with someone else. I suggest that you ask him to be more consider about you and the marriage. Ask him how would he feel if you was out into the wee hours of the night and didn't come in. This is also disrespectful. If you talk to him about this behavior and he doesn't change then I am afraid to say that you will have to move on with your life without him. Life is too short to be worried about someone who doesn't value their marriage and the feeling of their spouse.
2007-01-30 10:30:58 · answer #7 · answered by Shay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy and being left alone frequently, i would move out. Go to a friends, family, whatever and start over.
You are too young to settle for this kind of behavior. Even if no other woman, seems his desire to make you happy has fizzled and who wants that?
2007-01-30 10:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by cathoratio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The easy question is the hardest.
Are you happy? Do you want to live like this longer? The rest of your life perhaps?
No? Then act. You can straight up divorce him or hire a PI to follow him or ask for a separation or demand he go to counseling....
You have many options, all with advantages and drawbacks. Write them down, consider them carefully and then act.
Its your life...live it to make you happy.
2007-01-30 10:23:17 · answer #9 · answered by jw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tired of the BS...ok, so why are you still with this man? It is EXTREMELY obvious that he is jerking you around. Cheating or not...this is unacceptable behavior. I agree with the prior: Start saving your money and get out!
2007-01-30 11:23:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋