What do you think is the real reason people (men and women) cheat?

Question

I know I'm going to take a hit on this one, but I've cheated on my wife in the past. Enjoyed the sex, hated the guilt. Never did it again, but I been tempted a few times. But I never examined the real reason I cheated. Even today I'm not really sure of the WHY?

Answer 1

Because they can. The grass is always going to be greener someplace else. The bottom line is do you have self control and do you take your committments seriously? They cheat either because they are not happy in what they're in, OR they just lack the self-control it takes to say,"No. I'm not going to do this. I'm going to do the right thing." They are weak. They are selfish.
That's my two cents.

Answer 2

I think people cheat because the reality that marriage lives in becomes too much. I think it's the fantasy that is attractive - not because their partner doesn't meet all of their needs, not because the sex is lacking, not because they are bored.

In fantasy we can be whoever we want to be. We can control the impression we give to the other person. We can become who we want, we feel good about ourselves, we don't have to worry about bills, braces and garbage on Tuesdays.

It's never about our partner. It's not about "getting all of our needs met". It's always about the person who strays. Anyone who believes otherwise is in denial. If we cheat we must be responsible for what we have done. We will always be able to rationalize our behavior. The most mature and loyal of us will never cheat no matter the circumstances while those who are going to stray need no reason at all other than the need for the fantasy and their own unhappiness with reality.

While married I was once celibate due to illness for an entire 12 years. My now late husband remained faithful the entire time. So, I have a very hard time with the "my partner wouldn't give me any" excuses. He loved me no matter what was going on in the bedroom and was committed to the relationship. We can never expect our partners to give us 100% of what we need in our lives. Nor can we expect our marriages to make us happy. We must be responsible for our own happiness and realize that we can make our marriages better when they are lacking and stop going outside whenever we don't have a huge smile on our faces.

Answer 3

Dude, tell me your secret. I bet you caught all kinds of crap from your wifey, but in the end you guys stayed together.

I asked the question if I should sleep with another woman other than my wife (i never actually did it) and I got all kinds of angry responses back from these people. They said I needed counseling and all other crap that I should be smacked for even thinking about it.

Honestly, Its just natural and women need to get over it. Its not like these chicks havent had thier fair share of lovin from other dudes if you know what I mean.

They think that they can go and live it up before marriage and then during marriage, deny this same pleasures to the husband that they already ejoyed simply because of marriage. This is BS.

You know what, they should make a "milage" meter on wemen that tells how many dudes she's been with. And then make it a law that you can get as many chicks as she has dudes if you marry a lady with "high milage". Don't kid yourselves ladies, marriage does not erase a promiscous past.

So more power to you. And do it as long as women keep giving it to you. Just use protection. Live a life with NO REGRETS!

Answer 4

There are a couple of big reasons why people cheat...

1 - there is something lacking in the current relationship that the cheater is looking to fulfill

2 - the "thrill" of doing something that they know is morally wrong - but for one reason or another feels right

3 - the Cheater is feeling desirable by members of the opposite sex again... "mid life crisis" - or something of the like.... when they are feeling badly about themselves, it is nice to know that other people still find them attractive!

4 - Cause they can... they feel invincible like they did when they were younger - and no one will catch them. (This is similar to teenagers not thinking they will get hurt by driving fast or doing some daredevil stunt)

Overall, you need to weigh the consequences... what is going to happen if your spouse finds out you have cheated? Is that worth it? Only you can decide!

Answer 5

think it boost your ego, its exciting, it's new, the sex is probably great, your selfish, have no character, low morals and have no impulse control, plus your immature. u get tired of the wife at times, it gets old, u seek the excitement that seems to diminish in marriages over time. theres too many women out there that make their selves available to u, so u take them up on it. u are easily tempted, and u want to do these things, even if u feel guilt later on. u lack compassion for your wife who sits at home and has no idea. maybe u were mad at the wife, and had an argument that didn't get worked out, so u felt u were justified by doing it. u lack the understanding of the consequences involved, and what might happen if u were caught at it. morally u are bankrupt, and your needs come first, it is thrilling to still know u have what it takes out there, makes u feel special, u need to feed your ego.

Answer 6

Too many options. Everything on the menu looks so good and when you have the opportunity to taste it, you go for it. The media and our society makes it hard for anyone to want to be faithful any more. Even Presidents, Catholic priests, etc are getting stuff on the side. Love and fidelity is a thing of the past. Everyone makes you feel like a wimp and a loser if you're not "hittin' on something". The porn industry is way into banking on our weakness. Have you seen how pretty the women are and the freaky things they're willing to do? How about Girls Gone Wild and the "family restaurant "Hooters" I could probably go on and on with this one, LOL!

Answer 7

Most people are looking for something they feel is missing in their life. The one you cheat with always looks better in always because they don't have to put up with the daily bulls**t of day today living with you. It easyer being a girl friend than wife. Hope she doesn't find out then you might have an ex-wife. Work on your own marriage. Most people have the same problems just with other people when they solve the ones they have. Cheating is usually about something missing in yourself not the one you with.

Answer 8

I would assume that a person cheats because they are not satisfied in some aspect of the relationship. I do feel that if that starts to happen then the person needs to have a heart to heart before the cheating occurs. Also it is not always about the quantity of love but more like the quality. There is always going to be a temptation around us, just some of us are a lot better @ not giving in to it.

Answer 9

Lack of communication is #1 couples assume to much, for instance one or the other may think there sex life is fine when in reality it's not, simple things like saying " I Love You" those 3 little words mean everything. When there's a problem talk about it and find a way together to fix it. Those who cheat usually have very low self esteem and don't understand there hurting not only themselves but the ones they love.....it's very sad actually

Answer 10

No hits from me, I too cheated on my husband and it was because we always argued and he wasnt giving me what I needed. I needed us to meet half way and he never met me. I ended up leaving him and now I am sooo happy. I have a bf now of 5 years that gives me exactly what I want. If you love yoru wife I would suggest keeping communication lines open between you two. Let he know what your lacking and her the same. Be open to change. If you dont love her and think things wont work out, leave her. Its that simple. I had 2 kids and left. Life is too short to be unhappy, tomorrow isnt promised to any of us. Dont regret not being happy. Good luck