My mother in law wants to take my three year old for 3 weeks after my second baby is born.I've got 4 months to go and am wondering how necessary it would be to let my three year old go to another state for the first 3 weeks with new baby.Has anyone else done this??Was it neccessary?.......Would you do it??
2007-01-30 09:36:36 · 14 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
No it is most certainly not necessary. It would make things easier for you but I think it is a BAD idea. Only because your 3yo may take it as you care more about the new baby and you got rid of him. Besides that, it's a great time for your 3yo to bond with their new baby! If grandma wants to help, maybe she can come stay with you for a week or two. Good luck!
FYI: I have 2 boys. 6 and 2 and I never, not once had my mom or anyone else come to help me out. Yes it was hard but that's how life is. Jump in the deep end and just start swimming!
2007-01-30 09:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by buttons799 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋
My niece had just turned 2 when her brother was born and I think that if she would have gone anywhere it would have been a big mistake. She was already resenting her brother being around and wanted to have a lot of her mom's attention. I think that if she would have stayed somewhere else for awhile she would have felt like she was getting pushed out after my sister brought home the new baby. I think that if your mother in law wants to help, see if there is anyway that she could come to you instead. That way she can still help with the 3 year old but the little one wouldn't feel like they are getting replaced with the new baby. Also that gives the older one time to get used to the baby.
2007-01-30 18:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by chris l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husbands cousin did the exact thing you are talking about except it was with the grandmother and she almost lost her child because they tried kidnapping it. She never thought this would happen!! She did manage to get her child back with her but it is a lesson well learned.
I have a two year old and a one year old and I never allowed them out of my sight. you have an advantage. If your 3 yr old obeys you. The child could be a big help to you getting you things and at the same time bonding with this new member of your family. Let your 3 yr old be involved and feel like part of the family. Also if your mother in law wants to help she could come stay with you or near you for the first 3 weeks helping you out in ways that you would appreciate more. EX. Clean the house, cook supper, do some laundry, run some errands, help 3 yr old learn how to hold baby and how to act around baby. etc.etc.etc!!!
You will enjoy your second baby so much more with the first one there to share it with!!!
Love in Christ!!!
2007-01-30 17:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by highlight0405 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like a great way to make your 3-year old feel like a complete outcast and set yourself up for years of sibling rivalry!
Consider having your mother in law take the 3 year old for a week or two while you're still pregnant and can get a few things done... like getting the nursery ready. Once that new baby comes, it'd probably be easier on YOU to have the 3 year old on vacation, but it seems like it would be much more difficult on the 3 year old to be missing out on the new brother or sister!
2007-01-30 21:29:49 · answer #4 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that is neccessary. The first few weeks of a new borns life is crucial. They learn and are experiencing things at home. They are familiraizing themselves with the people and sounds of the people around them, the one they will spend a good 18 years with.Taking their older sibling away will weaken the bond that is being built between them. I don't think you should send them away. It is a totally differnent state, and they are only 3yrs old. With them at home you may have some very limited help, but it gives them time to learn that there is a new family member and that they will need to learn to cooperate with mom, dad, and baby and their schedules because they will change with the new baby around.
It is ok to have concerns about how your 3yr old may (re) act around your new child but it is normal.
2007-01-30 18:40:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different, I personally would not have my 3 year old in another state for 3 weeks w/o me. I wouldn't even let my husband take her to another state w/o me. I may be paranoid but I feel it is my job to take care of not anyone elses. My husband left to go back over seas 3 days after my baby was born. so it was just me a newborn and my 2 and half year old, I had no family anywhere near me. I did it just fine. and wouldn't have had it any other way.
2007-01-30 17:44:04 · answer #6 · answered by medleyc1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would not do that. I think your three year old needs to be there to adjust to the new baby. The three year old might think that you replaced him/her with the new baby . Tell your mother in law you will let her take the three year old when the new one is a little older. It sounds nice but your family is changing and your three year old needs to be there to help adjust to the changes.
2007-01-30 17:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. Your three year old will need to adjust and get to know the new family member also. You wouldn't want the three year old to feel pushed out and replaced would you?
2007-01-30 18:08:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it...if she wants to help you out...have her come and stay at your house to help look after your 3 yr old. He's going to have a hard enough time dealing with a new baby...he's going to think that mommy doesn't want him anymore now that she has a new baby.
2007-01-30 18:03:48 · answer #9 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it is necessary at all.
tell your mother in law to come there & help you out with the both of them & you
congrats on the new baby
2007-01-30 17:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by faded love 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋