My man will not live up to his promises?

Question

we are engaged to be married in a couple months, I want to cancel the whole wedding. For more than one reason. Heres 2 examples of what I am going through..First I think hes a hypochondriac, ever since we first met hes complained about these "pains" he has. It started in his groin, then his arm, now his legs. He complains about not feeling "right" and feeling "sick" every single day for 3 years.He sleeps ALL the time beause of it and everytime I try to touch him or get attention he tells me to stop touching him and to leave him alone.hes at home 99.9% time
Hes in a bad mood all the time. I think I have realized that we are not compatible anymore. Being around someone that is so moody all the time is really bringing me down. Not only that but it really hurts me how mean he can be.i should leave I guess I am looking for a way out right now. we share a home, cars, everything so it would be hard just to walk away. How should I do it?there is no talking to him he just tells me to shut up

Answer 1

cancel the wedding now! do u want to b unhappy the rest of your life? The man has no respect for your feelings . YR not even married yet & he's pushing u away . There is nothing more upsetting than a man who has no compassion w/ lack of respect .He is mean & hateful to u .He makes u feel bad. He doesn't want touch. All these things r a sign of a bad lover . Intimate caring genuine mood is a must 4 a good relationship. Everybody has thier bad days but u said his is bad 99% of time. GET OUT NOW!!!! It will only get worse. When someone doesn.t feel good they usually like attention. Yours finds u a pest. Is that how u want to feel? Go out & find someone who is genuine & wants & needs u.!!! It is heart breaking to find out that the person u married puts his needs before yours. People who love each other break thier back to make the other person happy NOT SAD> u will grow to resent him because your basic need of intimate touch is not met. Touching is a heart felt emotion & a sign of compassion . When it is rejected it is a downward spiral. U already see this don't u? Be fair about the asset splits MOVE ON!!! thereis someone eles who will truly care 4 u. Its really not hard walking away knowing you will never be rejected again. Thats the easy part. The pain off rejection is whats so damageing. Do yourself a favor. Find a healthy man & if he gets sick make sure he appreciates yr kindness.

Answer 2

he isn't really what u want from a man, sounds as if he wants attention, and likes to sleep all of the time. what u see is what your going to get if u marry him. if he tells u to shut up there is no way u can even talk to this man at all. u will need to split the assetts u share jointly and just move on even if it is difficult. being alone and happy is better than living with him and being unhappy. guess u should have gotten to know him better before u decided to share things.

Answer 3

Hun, it sounds like you need to make arrangements to leave. I know what you mean when you say you can't just get up and walk out. You will have to tell him your plans, and he has to help you arrange finances - if he's anything of a man he will help you out. But doesn't he work?
If you are supporting him I say just get your shyt together and get out. You are not anyone's maid or servant, and you will not live your life babying and trying to make someone else feel better. You need to get a back bone and lay it straight with him. Look him in the eye, and do whatever you have to to make sure he knows you MEAN BUSINESS and you are serious. But you have to follow through with what you say, if you threaten to leave if he doesn't do something, you have to be prepared to walk out if/when he doesn't do it.

Answer 4

enable him understand which you're sorry you won't have the ability to fulfill your promise. It grew to become into greater durable than you theory it may be, and you want to go out on your individual lower back. this may be a courting breaker, so be arranged for that. i'm hoping he already recovered from his surgical treatment, and he's doing nicely. strolling out on somebody who desires that style of help is a splash diverse. stable success.

Answer 5

First off, I think he may be suffering from some form of depression. Get him to seek help for it.

Secondly, if you're having any doubts at all about marriage, don't get married.

In my humble opinion, a single doubt is worth calling the whole thing off.

Answer 6

Hard to walk away or stuck in a miserable marriage? I would just let him have everything, and get the hell out. You can get new stuff, but the time you waste with him can not be gotten back.

Answer 7

you can try telling him that the relationship has gotten to a point where you no longer wish to stay. unless he changes, then you will have to move on from him. maybe he is just taking you for granted. if he knows you are serious about leaving, he may get his act together and start acting like a responsible partner.

Answer 8

It's good to find out now. Let him go, don't look back. Take your 1/2 of the stuff and be glad you didn't marry him or have children with him.

Answer 9

You think 3 years is hard? Try your whold life. Sounds like he is bi-polar and depressed. Yeah, the pains come with depression. I don't think he'll be getting better though. Seems like he likes being grumpy.

Answer 10

Take what belongs to you, and seeing how he won't talk about it, tell him to listen to what you are saying, then tell him it's over, tell him why, and tell him if he changes, to look you up, you might be willing to give him another try. In the meantime tell him good bye.