I've cheated on my husband with another man and it happened five times total. Should I confess to my husband then leave him, confess to him and ask if he wants to forgive me, or should I NOT tell him and just go on with my marriage and never cheat again?
2007-01-30 08:36:59 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you WANT to leave your husband? If not, think of the incident as private information and keep it private.
2007-01-30 08:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by tk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Lady... If you love your husband, don't tell him. I've been there. It is a shi*t sandwitch, no body wins, there is just pain.
Sad as that is you will bring more hurt and pain in an already troubled marriage.
Go get some counseling, both of you. You have some unresolved issues that need addressing.
If you don't get the issued resolved then you will mostly cheat again. Most people get caught, you're lucky to be give a choice on what to do.
Be honest if you do get cought, but leave out the sexual details if you plan to stay. He may forgive but he will never forget.
get help, invest in your marriage or get out
2007-01-30 08:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should be honest and tell him no matter what way you look at it.... I would tell him now if it were me and i would say i was sorry and ask him to forgive me... you should have never cheated on him to begin with but being honesty is the best policy here and if he does not want the marriage after finding out then leave and divorce him and vow in your heart to never do this to anyone ever again!
2007-01-30 08:50:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends if your going to keep cheating with this other man or put him behind you? Depends if you are truly sorry for what you did or you think it might happen again down the road These are the questions you should ask yourself and then maybe go to a marriage counselor and find out the reasons for cheating and clear up many other trouble you are having. They will help you sort through many emotions and guilts. good luck
2007-01-30 08:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not tell your husband because no husband will forgive his wife for cheating and having an affair with another man. Well, If you are ready for divorce than go ahead tell him, but if you take my advice its better that you just forget about those other guys like a nightmare and start all over and be faithful. Because people makes mistake but they should learn from it rather than repeating it.
Just think this way, what if your truth comes out than you have no idea how many people will suffer, especially your spouse and his family and of course your family too. Importantly, if you have children than what example you are setting for them, that its ok to cheat and ruined others life for your happiness. You know sometimes its acceptable if you lie to save others.
I just wanted to be honest with you, many times we made mistake without knowing its consequence after all we are humans. I can understand your situation because I had cheated on my husband too and the weird thing is the man I am in love with he had also cheated his wife for me. However, we decided not to encourage our relationship any further because there are many lives attached with our life and we both choose this path because we can't hurt our own people for our happiness. So best of luck and keep your secrets in your heart and if you feel guilty than keep yourself busy. Life is not fair and believe me no one in this world deserves 100% honesty because none of us is perfect. Please, don't say a single word to your husband because unlike women, men can't forgive. It's kind of ego thing. Pray to god for your forgiveness.
2007-01-30 09:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by Jassi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly loved your husband you would not have cheated not once but 5 times!! You need to be a real women and tell him what kind of wife you've been. Why keep living a lie? How can you be happy with man if you have to cheat on him?
2007-01-30 08:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by Animal_lover 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If your marriage is important to you, then say nothing, and try to stay on the right path of being faithful and working out whatever issues that caused you to cheat with your husband. I don't think confessing will lead to him forgiving you, it's a blow and unless you plan to divorce him, just make sure he never finds out.
You have to make sure you want to stay in this marriage. Take some time to clear your head, you do not want to live a life of deceit and dishonesty, it's not worth it. If you do not truly love your husband and are not committed to him, divorce the guy and move on.
2007-01-30 08:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater.... this is not to say that you want to do it again, but you got away with it once right.
Tell your husband everything and then reap what you've sewn, its what you deserve. If you are ever again lucky enough to have someone invest their love and trust in you maybe you will have learned from this and you will make a different choice. And if he forgives you, you will be untrusted in your marriage for a long time and you will have to earn that trust back, which can be a very painful process, but you can't just pretend it never happened that's a whole new lie.
2007-01-30 08:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by stephyhall 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i would go on with my marriage and stop cheating if you value the marriage and your husband. to tell him would change how he felt about u permanently, would take away the trust he felt with u, and cause u problems u wish u had never had. he might even want to end the marriage, and could be devastating on u at this point as u seem to be finished with the cheating. just forgive yourself, ask god for forgiveness and you can start new and focus on your marriage and the future. forget about what u did, it's over with now.
2007-01-30 08:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that he should know the kind of woman that you are. Sorry, you need to tell him, you owe him that honesty. Then, I guess you both can figure out where your marriage is going from there. I could understand if it happened once, ok, it's still a big deal, but a mistake. But 5 times, is insane! Tell him the truth and my motto is once a cheater always a cheater, so don't expect yourself to change and I don't think that your husband should either. Let him move on and find a woman that will love and honor him forever.
2007-01-30 08:48:29 · answer #10 · answered by jen 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
the answer lies within yourself. How guilty do you feel? Is it something that will haunt you the rest of your life? Obviously there is something missing in your marriage and you need to fix it. Are you truly sorry - do you know it won't happen again? Is your husband likely to hear about it from someone? My suggestion is to try to fix what's wrong with your marriage first. If your marriage is "unfixable" then get a divorce and never mention what mistake you made. If your marriage gets fixed then I think I would not tell him. He will never trust you again.
2007-01-30 09:32:45 · answer #11 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋