He knows i love him with my whole heart and yet he only gives me just half his love. I just cant bare to lose him but I feel him still loving his ex will stand in the way of our future together, she still calls here and asks for him..i hate him so much when he runs off with the phone to talk to her i have no one else in the world but him and if he leaves me in out of a home i lose the last bit of hope for love and i lose the only person who ever showed me true happyness i just dont know what to do please help im completely lost. Once he told me he wanted to grow old and have kids together and live in a big house...he knows how much i want kids...but then 2 days later he turns around and tells me he doesnt want kids he just said he wanted kids to make me happy. Now i wander if he is just saying he wants to marry me and grow old together just to make me happy again...what should i do i have no one to turn to
2007-01-30 08:30:05 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey let him go. Living in the shadow of his ex has never and will never be acceptable. You will find someone who is worth YOUR time and efforts who will love you and only you
2007-01-30 08:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by explosyv 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Lady, I know cause I have been there myself.
The one thing I learned through my life experience is
-You can't make a person love you
-Not all people are completly honest
-My ex's and his ex's will always be there (atleast for a time)
-If I'm happy with myself FIRST, then he MIGHT be happy with me
-No human power can make me feel good inside.
-Nothing in life is guaranteed, no matter what they tell you
-If all goes south, I need to be right with myself if survival is neccessary.
Whats happening to you is your looking to far into the future and you are not taking the time to relax and enjoy today. You are already at the break-up! That is such an unhealthy place to be. You will feel miserable, nobody loves you, he WILL pick up on this.
It is very important that in a relationship as tense as this that you spend some time with yourself doing something that you enjoy.
Just because he talks to his ex girlfriend does mean he doesnt love you. My guy still talks with his ex and I still talk with mine. The fact of the matter is there is no reason they can't be friends. You need to allow him his freedom.
Now at they same time you will be building your strength. If he leaves you there is nothing you can do about it.
I tell my huy all the time that anytime he wants to up and leave he can. And I am sincere when I say it. We never fight, and he's never left. Because I gave him freedom of choice. However if he does leave, I know that I will be sad, but I also know that this is the way it was supposed to go.
Hang in there girl and just get back into today. He not gone yet and I'm sure he loves you.
My last piece of advice, get some healthy women freinds in your life to help you get out of yourself when times are tough.
Good Luck!
One last thing, be careful who you get advice from because love is really simple if both parties are willing. Alot of people don't know how to have a healthy relationship...WHY DO YOU THINK THERE ARE SO MANY RELATIONSHIPS THAT GO SOUR!
I hope you trust my advice. I have been doing this for a long time. And I finally found the RIGHT WAY. Time can heal what the heart can't.
2007-01-30 08:51:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh me...talk about mind games. The heart is such an awful thing to play with. It hurts. That is what this guy is doing to you. Don't let him. This is your forever at stake. You sound like such a sincere person when it comes to love. This guy doesn't deserve you. Let him go. It will surely hurt for now. But he doesn't have as much invested in this relationship as you do. Trust me, honey, it will hurt a lot more later than it will now. More than likely, if you're experiencing his hurt now, it will only get worse. Cut ties with him. If it is meant to be, he'll close the open doors with his ex and find his way back. It's up to you then if he's worth another chance. Chances are, though, by then you'll be with your Prince Charming and you'll be so thankful that you spared yourself from this pain. Don't attempt this now. If he EVEN THINKS he still has feelings for her, you'll never succeed. Best of luck to you. I've been hurt before and I know it's not easy.
2007-01-30 08:40:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
been there dont that have the T shirt. i am an intelligent fierce woman. i am known for my aggrssive business attitude savvy and wit. BUT there came a time that my friends and some colleagues were seriously thinking of committing me because of my LUV for a certain person. for a few days we are the happy couple everything is wonderful and then the life of hell follows for abour 5 days and then he comes around as nothing has gone wrong and wanna cook me dinner (?) this mad relationship went on for 3 long hard years. u are in an emotionally abusive relationship. i can say that cause i was in one. when i say emotionally abusive is because of the roller coaster ride of emotions that u are being taken on. it might not be every day but when it does come about it leaves u totally drained wasted and doubting yourself. that is why u believe if he leaves it will be the end all of verything. no it wont. sometimes i think back and wonder how i got into that but it happens. leave him and dont look back so you can reflect in the future of the big mistake u almost made.
2007-01-30 09:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by ray g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey, loose him. Not only is he a baby, but you are sharing!!!!! Christ!!!!! Never share, hon. Never be the "jerk in reserve". If you are any nice lady at all, find a nice guy.
Firstly, get a session or two of counseling to figure out why you are willing to settle for so little---- a guy who doesn't even know if he cares for you?????, and still has feelings for an ex!!!! ?????? GEEEZ.
Everyone deserves a loving spouse with not that kind of baggage.... If you think you are frustrated now, marry this guy, have a baby by this guy, and be left by this guy!!!!!
Lots of nice guys on Yahoo personals, Match.com, e-harmony who want a loving relationship, a wife and a family. Look there. I did and found the prince...
2007-01-30 08:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does the saying "having your cake and eating it too" sound all too familiar here? If his ex has such a strong influence on his life,then you dont stand any kind of chance with this guy. It sounds like hes keeping you around now only as an extra. Youre best bet here is to let her have him and move on and find someone who appreciates only you. Wish I could tell you something better but I think you have already realized this but didnt want to really accept it as fact so the reason why youre on here, sorry but you definitely can do better. Good luck
2007-01-30 08:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break off the engagement, until you are sure about this man. If he and his ex are still in love, you will be making a mistake to marry him. He is not the only man on Earth; and if he leaves, it's not the end of the world. It will be far worse, if you marry a man who obviously loves someone else.
2007-01-30 08:39:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may be hard to believe right now but ending the relationship now will be far less painful than if you marry him.Everyone feels like no one will ever love them again after a break up, but time heals all wounds. You will look back on this some day and it may even seem a little silly.But you seem like a nice sensitive person and I think you deserve WAAAAAY better.I will pray for you. God won't let you down.
2007-01-30 08:51:19 · answer #8 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, c'mon, you don't need him, you don't need anyone but yourself to be happy. If you're with him not because you choose to be with him, but because you can't "bear" being without him - you're in it for the wrong reasons. There's ALWAYS other fish in the sea. You sound desperate, and desperation is a bad adviser when it comes to relationships. He disrespects you and controls you because you allow him to do so - and this will continue for as long as you're together; are you really prepared to sacrifice your life to this man who's playing games with you? If it's unacceptable for you that he's having an affair with his ex - then put your foot down. Leave him. It is not "true happiness" when you let another person walk all over you.
2007-01-30 08:39:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's still talking with his ex and running to get the phone when he calls you need to find a way to either make it stop or to move on. If he loves you then he shouldn't be doing those things. Do not marry this man until this is resolved it will tear the two of you apart. You need to decide what is more important to you, your pride or this relationship.
2007-01-30 08:35:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that heck I even had his child. Lets just say that we are now married to other people him "surprise surprise" to his ex. She is also having his child now and he has done a 360 when it came to the whole kid deal because its her having his kid. Its not fair or right in my opinoin and I still to this day would enjoy killing him, but you get through it and move on. I am now in a much better place with a man who loves me and only me and I feel that my ex is happier with the woman he truly loves. Leave before it gets any worse trust someone who has been in your shoes.
2007-01-30 08:47:17 · answer #11 · answered by Tanya 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋