I have been living with this guy for about 5 years. We have a child together. I have come to realize that I do not want what he has to offer. I support all of us, he does not work, it took him a year and a half to give me the excuse that he is depressed. I do everything, from coming home and cooking to taking the trash out cause he refuses to do it. the other night i told him that i wanted him ot leave and that i did not want to be with him. and his response was that i need to try and make things work. I don't want to try. What do i do now that i told him how i feel and he refuses to accept that??
2007-01-30 08:28:08 · 16 answers · asked by suere21101 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have made your choice, move forward!
Good for you.
2007-01-30 08:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy Pants 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has gotten quite comfortable with his living situation. You do not say how long he has been out of work, however, even 1 month is too long to expect you to pay for everything.
I am a single mom and own a house. I work fulltime and have no other assistance financially. I am alright with that. I would not be alright with having to support a 3rd mouth to feed and house, especially if he is the man I am supposed to be in a relationship with, and the father of my child. I would hope that he would take more of a an initiative to get his "act together". Look, everyone has hard times, and I can understand that. I would try and help of course. But there does come a point when it is taken advantage of. You have enough to worry about already.
Evidently you have decided and you know what you want. He needs to respect that and do the right thing-move out. Afterwards if you both choose to keep trying to make the relationship work, then give it a try-without him living off of you. It is not fair to you and a big responsibility to have to support 2 others. Your son also doesn't need to experience the frustration that you are sharing. You will respect this man a lot more too, if he moves out and you work on things at that point if you even care to do so.
Good luck. You are doing the right thing. Stay strong in your feelings. Remember however, you will always have the "tie that binds"- your child. When he moves out, even if you do not stay romantically involved, you will need to work on a healthy involvement with him for the sake of your child.
2007-01-30 16:42:49 · answer #2 · answered by Singthing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depression can be a serious issue, but if you are sure it is just an excuse and that he will not change or try to put in some effort to save your relationship, then you should end things with him. If he will not leave, then you and your child will need to be the ones leaving.
2007-01-30 16:37:07 · answer #3 · answered by Cheeva 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a 30 day eviction notice and have his stuff packed by that date, and tell him that if he doesn;t move, you will send his stuff to a storage unit and that if he refuses to leave, you will ask the help of the sheriff department to escort him out. Then cahnge the locks.
Also, take him to court for child support. That will get it through his head that is over. You don't need to keep on supporting that lazy bozo, you already have a child to to take care of and you don't need a man child to leave off of you.
Good luck
2007-01-30 16:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as you make the money and pay the bills and everything is in your name then have him escorted out with his belongings by the police. Hire a lawyer and get a custody agreement drawn up so he can have visitation with his child.
Depression or not if he is not seeking help for his depression then it is merely an excuse for being lazy and pathetic.
2007-01-30 16:49:49 · answer #5 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Blunt an Katydid. I have a close friend with the same situation, only her husband (not boyfriend) has pulled the same plea. The truth is, he is lazy, addicted to pot, and unwilling to learn a skill that will get him a job. They have a child they adopted, but he contributes nothing. She wants to divorce him just to free herself from his bills he owes. They've gone to counseling and he's been on antidepressants for years and nothing has changed.
Sounds like you should move on, while you can!
2007-01-30 17:13:35 · answer #6 · answered by eroxica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he wants to work things out. That way he won't have to get off his sorry @ss and help out. If he's not willing to leave on his own, take his stuff and put it in the front yard. Call your big brother or Jim Bob and have them physically put him out. This guys had it made for way too long.
2007-01-30 16:35:12 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. I am assuming you own the house. If you do, have him removed. If that doesn't work, sell it and move to another place without him.
Depression can be a terrible thing. But it sounds to me like he is using it to remain stuck in no-wheres-ville.
God bless.
2007-01-30 17:01:15 · answer #8 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor dear It sounds like you've been the only one trying!!!. Don't fall for his lame excuses!! This guy is using you for a place to shack up and free meals and sex,. Are you mad!!! Kick his AZZ OUT!!!! You been though enough and now love is dead...... It's not your fault! Its the loser that you wasted 5 years of Your life with. good luck ...
2007-01-30 16:38:12 · answer #9 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait tell he leaves and then change the locks on all the doors...thats should give him the hint that you mean what you are saying...You might tell him you need a brake and then when he's gone tell him not to come back....
2007-01-30 16:36:35 · answer #10 · answered by Dawn l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's in your place, pack his bags and have them ready, or give him a set date to be out. If he isn't, get the police involved.
If he's not in your place, then leave and avoid him like the plague.
Sooner or later, he'll get the message.
2007-01-30 18:02:07 · answer #11 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋