do i need my mommy?

Question

Do i really need the help?
i am about to have a baby in 8 weeks and my mom think i need her here for help with the baby but i dont think i need help do you how hard can it be all newborn do sleep and eat and sh*t that dont sound to hard to me

Answer 1

I know that I could not have done it without my Mom's help. Well, I could have, but the laundry would have piled up, the dishes would have started to mold and I would have been a mess.

In addition to the baby needing to eat every 2-3 hours at the beginning, even overnight, there are the diaper changes, the spit-up cleanings, the spit-up clothes changes, the crying for whatever reason you can't figure out, the time you need to spend holding and bonding with the baby, and heaven help you if you have a baby that has it's days and nights mixed up and you are awake allllll night long with a baby that won't sleep. Then when day comes and the baby does sleep, they still eat every few hours, and bills and errands still need paying and doing, and you'll wonder how anyone has time to "sleep when the baby sleeps".

People do get by without help, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I was truly grateful for the help and wish my mom could have stayed longer.

I knew motherhood would be hard but I had no idea just HOW hard it would be until I was home with the baby. Good luck hon whatever you decide. Being a mom is hard but it is so worth it in the end.

Answer 2

I have a three week old and my mom comes over to help all the time. I don't know what I'd do if she didn't...sometimes I just need the break from the baby. It's important in the beginning that you are taken care of...you will be very tired from labor and will need rest, meanwhile your baby will be on his or her own schedule and you won't be getting much sleep. We're up several times a night and sometimes during the day my mom just takes the baby so I can lay down and rest...it's such a blessing.
Please don't underestimate what a baby will do to your life, Eat, sleep and sh*t isn't the half of it. Babies will make and break your heart. When you hear your baby cry (which could be quite often) you will try anything and everything to stop it, but sometimes they just cry. Mine does this between 4 and 8 each night and is fussy during this time, and it is very stressful. At other times she is an angel and I can't get enough of holding her. The rollercoaster of emotions your baby will put you through will make you happy you'll have someone helping you out...don't forget you'll also have horomones that will be going crazy after the birth and many women have trouble with this, too.
I'm not trying to sound negative...having my daughter is the best thing in the world that has ever happened to me. But it was also a reality check, since I thought it would be easier than it is and it is the hardest (and most rewarding) job in the world.

Answer 3

I think it depends on what kind of relationship you have with your mother, and what kind of women she is.

Is she going to dictate how you should take care of your baby - because her way is the right way? (the old "you turned out fine, this is the way to do it!") Or would she be open to learning new, more up-to-date advice (like no "cry it out", breastfeeding, waiting till 6 months for solids). Because if you want to do things one way and she wants to do things another way.. that's the last thing you need. I have a friend who absolutely did not want to introduce a pacifier - the second her mother got alone with the baby she popped a pacifier in her mouth the minute she started crying. Not good.

Are you the type of person that likes your house a certain way? Is she a slob and you a neat freak? Does she put everything away in the wrong place? Or is she super helpful and knows exactly how to make you comfortable?

Basically it all comes down to your relationship and your personalities. I think the worst situation is having someone close who could jeopardize an extremely sensitive period in a new mom's life. For example if you plan to breastfeed you need people around you who will support you 110% - if not you won't succeed.

As for what you should be doing those first weeks - the best advice is to just stay in bed, both of you (mom and child) for a good week. He just spent 9 months hearing your heartbeat, listening to you speak, having you near.. make that transition a little easier on you both. Plus you'll be exhausted from labor, and he'll want to nurse around the clock, you'll just need to roll over to change a diaper, etc etc.

Good luck!

Answer 4

The problem is that although the baby won't do all that much, what it does want to do will be happening all day and all night. Chances are that you will be pretty sleep deprived - when I had my baby I sure was happy my mom was there to cook for me and do the laundry. The other thing is that it's a really important time for you to be bonding with the baby - even just holding the baby while he or she sleeps is really precious. Finally, even if childbirth goes really easily, that is a big physical thing to recover from, and you will need to be able to take it really easy. And imagine if you were to need a c-section - that's major surgery!

I think it's really good to have your mom help, especially if she's willing to. Good luck!!!

Answer 5

My mom stayed with me for one day and my fiance's parents were here for 2 weeks. To be quite honest I resent his parents for staying that long. They live 7 hours away and don't blame them that they wanted that much time but it took away the time I needed to spend with just my fiance and our new baby. He was only off for 2 weeks then went back to work so as you can see we didn't really have any alone time. I feel that I really didn't need any help because me and my fiance were helping eachother because it is a learning experience. I lived in my room nearly the whole time they were here. I love his parents but you get the picture. I feel maybe a couple of days is nice but it's truly up to you......Good luck

Answer 6

I just had a baby a week ago sunday. my mom and sister came to stay for 4-5 days and help me out. Believe me you will thank her later for coming to help you adjust. You will be tired and sore from labor and when the baby cries about every two hours for food or a diaper change it will be hard for you to get some sleep. You will be really tired the first week.

Answer 7

My dear friend,

You won't know how hard it is until your baby is born...believe me. My mom stayed with me for 2 and 1/2 weeks. I wished she could stayed longer. You will need lots of help and last but not least: a lot of moral support. Babies don't come with an "User Guide" so, nobody will know better than your mother who went through that process. My mother helped US so much...My husband and I really appreciatted all her help, advice, patience, support, and love. You should really consider her help. Good Luck!