My husband's birthday was last week and I threw him a party, bought him a PS2, an MP3 player, and several games. My birthday is next week and I know he is going to forget it. He has never done anything nice for me really and it hurts my feelings. I don't feel like I should have to remind him of when my birthday is. I wonder if I should just go out without letting him know or just act like it's just another day or what.
2007-01-30 08:19:48 · 38 answers · asked by bamagrits84 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really sympathise. . My husband is similar; he just isn't in to romantic gestures. He just dosn't think to do them, it isn't deliberate. I used to nag him, drop hints and dwell on it but to be honest it just makes you loose a bit of self respect.
It helped me to step back and realise that you can't expect your partner to be everything; not like some romantic hero in the movies. For me the most important thing is that we are never bored with each other and enjoy each others company. You need to let to yourself and your friends/family to fullfill other parts of your happiness.
So don't dwell on it..... What would you like to do on your birthday? Why not take a day off work and pamper yourself with a friend or just go to the cinema then lunch - then have a nice meal in with your husband. Cook something for both of you which you would really enjoy. Don't rely on him to make the day special for you. I booked a 30 minute flying lessong for my birthday once year and went to the theatre with a girlfriend to see a matinee another year. They were great birthdays. You win both ways then. Are not disappointed and also your husband will respect and admire you for your independence. But do make a change this year as you know exactly how you will feel. Like is too short!
2007-01-30 08:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has never done anything nice for you when you have bought him all these great things, you may want to take a real good, hard look at him. Go out and get a large calendar to stick on the refridgerator (or somewhere equally obvious where he will see it). Go through and put down every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc. in BIG, colorful letters and in permanent marker. If he still "forgets", forget about him when the next, birthday, holiday, etc. comes around. If he still doesn't get the hint, forget him altogether, there are better men out there.
2007-01-30 08:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be proactive. Say something like "wow, only xxx days until my birthday" to him. Then follow it up with "do I need to make a dinner reservation somewhere, or have you already taken care of it?" Be very confident, not whiny. Whiny will not get you anywhere, with any man. I was with a man who never observed Valentine's Day until I told him when it was and that I expected to be taken out. Problem solved. Men just don't care about sweet things in their ordinary universe. There are some exceptions, but overall, they're wired to know when sports are on TV and when Battlestar Gallactica reruns play. It leaves little space for remembering flowers and chocolates, unfortunately. If he doesn't shape up, than there are some more serious issues. If he knows its birthday time and CHOOSES to ignore your special day, you need to examine a lot of things about him and your marriage. If you're unwilling to do that, I hope he has a secretary at his work. Call her and remind her/him that your birthday is coming up, and he/she should ensure your husband arranges flowers/dinner/etc. or make the reservation for him.
2007-01-30 08:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by goodgirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to remind him that your birthday is coming up. Otherwise you are just playing games.
You need to let him know what you are feeling and if something hurts you. Remember, men can't read minds...although we think they should know what and how we think...they don't.
Men think differently then women. Unless you tell him that you want him to make a big deal out of your birthday..he's not going to. I know you gave him a hint, by giving him a party and giving gifts...but women are the planners and men just show up.
Ask him if he has planned anything for your day..miracles do happen...maybe he got your hint.
2007-01-30 08:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by Barb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you bother getting him such nice things if he forgets your birthday?
If he forgets your birthday again, next year, use the money you saved for his gift on a day at the spa for yourself.
It's not that he doesn't love you. He just doesn't take birthdays that seriously. I bet he doesn't really do much for anybody's birthday. It's just the way he is.. Only way to get his attention is by skipping his b-day next year.. even then, he may not really care.
2007-01-30 08:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by •√¡rgő• 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't remember things like that. You have to remind him 100 times and chances are he'll still forget. My husband always does. You know that he loves you...buying a birthday gift or something shouldn't make a differnce. It does, I know, but just remember that he does love you. That's the most important thing.
2007-01-30 08:33:55 · answer #6 · answered by zil28ennov 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My now husband, then boyfriend, TOTALLY Forgot my birthday once. he was over at my house and saw a vase of flowers....he said "oh where did you get the flowers from?" He looked at the tag and it said "happy birthday....love Tommy, (my brother) He said OMG I am so sorry. He never forgot since. I was hurt, I had even called him on my B-day to talk and he said, I am watching something, I will call you tomorrow. I was so sad. But it is ok, you know you are married, so on the calander, write ___________b-day and draw a circle around the day.
2007-01-30 08:29:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might say something. enable him be conscious of you do not assume something vast, yet a verbal chuffed birthday or a card or something may be high-quality. Then, next 3 hundred and sixty 5 days, a week or so in the past your birthday, ask him if he's conscious what's springing up in 7 days...
2016-10-16 07:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by season 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make reservations at a nice restaurant and if he forgets your birthday take a good friend out and enjoy yourself. When the bill comes, be sure to bring your husband credit card and charge it to him. Later take yourself shopping and buy a nice piece of jewelry and oh don't forget to use the credit card again... Happy Birthday!!!!!
2007-01-30 08:30:36 · answer #9 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan a night out with your friends but let him know that you are doing it.
"Honey i'm going out with the girls for my birthday next friday so you will have to make your own dinner plans."
He knows from this statement that he was not invited, likely because he never remembers it anyway, and you have reminded him of it but let him know that you could give a rats *** if he remembers. This will put him on his toes for the day but let him know that you have found another way to celebrate with out depending on his remembering. "Men hate to be left out of anything"
2007-01-30 08:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by stephyhall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋