do they want them but not the work i don't understand i could'nt do it . i'm not judging just asking xx
2007-01-30 08:19:01 · 38 answers · asked by noot 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
i'm lucky we're well off on one wage but my friend is not so well of but stays with her kids cause thats her life and they manage on hubbys wage so thats why i ask
2007-01-30 08:26:37 · update #1
maybe they feel obligated to have children ...but i agree...one parent needs to be home raising the children...
sorry all you working parents...im sure you'll give me what for...but its just my opinion.
2007-01-30 08:22:20 · answer #1 · answered by Suzy 5 · 4⤊ 13⤋
A lot of people are single or their spouse doesnt make enough to pay for everything. I've stayed at home with my kids since they were born, but when i thought i might have to go back it didnt make sense cause I would literally be working to pay for daycare. SOme women make much more, or dont have to pay for day care so working makes sense for the well being of the family. My husband did whatever he had to so i could stay home, and he has now tripled his income from when we had our first child. He even joined to Army national guard to bring in an extra income. For some people its not a huge deal and for others daycare isnt an option. I know in our case we dont want anyone raising our kids, but thats us. And everyone is entiled to their own opinion. And as long as the child/children are being cared for i really dont see why people dog on woking mothers. My bestfriend went back to work this past year, her boys are 4 and 2, to create a savings for the kids. That was the only reason all the money goes in a special account for the boys. I think that is great! To each his own. If we all thought and did things the same we would be boreing.
2007-01-30 08:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a SAHM and just because my kid doesn't go to a daycare or nursery doesn't mean he's not social. I can't believe people would compare it like that. I'm a SAHM but that does not necessarily mean I'm home all day long. I get out a lot and have neighbors that are SAHM's with their children. My son is social because I'm social.
I understand that people out there have to work because I have friends that work and put their children in daycare. Me on the other hand just couldn't do it. Yeah sure it would be nice if I was bringing some kind of money home because it is tight. And maybe someday if I do go back to work it will be part time at night. The welfare and raising of your child is priceless!! I don't knock the working mother because I'm sure it's hard on their minds......And it's not easy.
2007-01-30 09:03:58 · answer #3 · answered by KDB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a child changes everything in life. Before the baby comes you think about how things are going to be and then bam, the baby comes and its CRAZY! The most important thing in a parents life is their child wether they have to work or not is the point. No matter who works or who doesn't we all love our children more than our jobs, hopefully. So people are fortunate to stay home and some are fortunate to work, either way that you look at it. Depending on where you live and how you live determine wether or not you can stay home with your child for the first several years of their life. They have years to become social butterflies and I personally don't think that if they are not in a daycare they are missing out on anything. They will come in contact with children during these years in play group and outings. Give them a chance to learn about themselves and who they are before making them defend themselves at a daycare. As parents we do what we think is right for our kids and sometimes it may not be the right thing but there is no book like my Mom used to say on how to raise your child.
2007-01-30 08:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by Amy R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just depends on the family. For example, if I were to have a child right now, there is NO way we would be able to make it on just my husbands income. We have a lower level apartment that needs to be rented out and has sat empty for 7 months, and with the wedding, we got behind. Now, say maybe next year, if I had a child, we probably could make it on just his income. It depends on the family and the situation. I know my husband will not have a problem with me staying home and taking care of the kids while he works, but there are men out there, like his stepdad, who think the woman should stay at home but doesn't allow her to do anything other than cook, clean, and wait on him hand and foot. He had a fit because my mother in law got a job, but she had to because he wouldn't give her any money to get things that she wanted or needed. Then you have someone like my sister who is a single mom (the father, who she was engaged to, decided he wasn't ready to be a family man, even after the got a house together) has to work 50 hours a week to support her kids and keep the house. So like I said, it depends on the situation and the family.
2007-01-30 08:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by Jen G 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What an awesome question. There is a huge debate about working mothers and at-home mothers and this is the crux of the issue. The problem is there is no correct answer.
I've been lucky to be on both sides. When my daughters were infants/toddlers, I stayed at home - primarily because I could afford to. By the time they went to school, I couldn't wait for adult conversation about something more than bottles, potty training and the tele-tubbies.
Woman who work have just as much to offer as women who don't. Those who are happy doing what they do, whether it's staying at home or working will be much better parents than those who are doing what they do because they have to. Resentment can build up and the child will suffer.
Studies show that as long as the quality of care is top-notch, children of working mothers develop to be normal, happy and healthy children.
It's the companies they work for that need to be "parent-friendly". Mom's need to feel that they can go to the child's play, take the morning off if their child is sick, etc. Being a mom is an awesome thing - but for some people it isn't the only thing. For other's, being a mom completes them and they are happy.
Like I said - there is no one answer. For me - because I'm working at an awesome company which allows me the opportunity to be a mom when I need to be - I go home 95% of the time with a smile on my face and ready to put on my other hat. My daughters and I have a very good relationship, and I'm able to provide them with the things they want. They are also involved in community service, one of them works and just got her license and both go to 2 schools - so I'd say they are well-rounded. I'm happy, their happy and both their parents are still together living in the same house. Just that is rare.
Don't forget - divorce usually comes after the baby is born, so some mom's are forced into working in order to provide for their children. Those are the mom's I really applaud. They do what they have to do for the sake of their children, often putting their own needs and wants off. They are truly amazing and women to be admired.
2007-01-30 08:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by Allison S 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I was a SAHM for 6 1/2 years and just recently went back to work 2 weeks ago because it was either I get a job or live off the system(and then of course people would say bad things about me then too) and I chose to get a job. My children are not being raised by another person. They are with a family friend for at most 3 hours a day( I work first shift husband works 2nd) Yes I desperately miss the time with my daughters but they are no worse off with me having a job. We still do the same things I would do with them if I was home all the time.
2007-01-30 08:32:23 · answer #7 · answered by mom2ace 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
WOW! Why blame the woman? Many parents want to stay at home, but can't afford the basics one one income. They want to pay for their children's college, provide health care, give them a nest egg.
What would be nice is to see this judging attitude directed more positively. US maternity leave is a joke! How about doing something positive and asking your company to take some of your PTO days and apply them to the mom with the new baby? Put your money where your mouth is.
2007-01-31 04:56:06 · answer #8 · answered by avalonlee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey i am a stay at home mom for 8 years and have three boys and i love it. I don't work cause i don't want someone else to raise my children or watch there first steps or anything like that. Sure money tight but we are willing to sacrifice so that the kids can have a least one parent around.
2007-01-30 09:57:00 · answer #9 · answered by crazyhagan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are thinking about things short term.
I've looked at several daycares and didn't like many of them. I found one that we are extemely happy with. The children are being challenged in stimulating and educational ways. Plus they receive socialization and gain an understanding on how to relate to different people of different ages...not just mom. Our daycare comes up with incredibly stimulating and creative ideas that I couldn't have come up with. My mom was a stay at home mom and I never had the benefit of some of the experience that my kids are getting in school. I feel my kids are much more advanced educationally at their age than I was at the same age.
These people that put their kids in daycare are trying to put food on the table, keep a roof overhead, look out for the kids future economic needs and the families future economic needs. We live for the evening and weekends when we are together as a family and make the most of that time. It isn't easy to spend quality time as a family, hold a job in corporate america, and keep the house clean.
Besides, if you don't send you kid to school now to start learning and working with teachers, you will do so at age 5. It's a matter of when do you start letting your kid learn outside of the home.
2007-01-30 08:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by BAM 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
some people want to work to earn more money than the social gives you which is the bare minimum required. That way they can afford to give their children the best in life, and i found out that a study showed that children who had a full time working mum or dad were better behaved, parent and child had an overall slightly better pycological mentality, they were slightly more independant and the children were more likely to follow in their parents footsteps of a hard working career.
On the other hand, some people have children to take care of them themselves and enjoy it so much they cant see themselves doing it. I couldnt!
Everyones view is different x
2007-01-30 08:31:02 · answer #11 · answered by jojobass86 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋