My best friend was married 16 yrs to a great guy who was very sweet,loving,affectionate,kind and VERY good to her but he has a low sex drive..Well anyways after 20 yrs of being VERY overweight she lost over 100lbs..3 months ago she left her husband for a guy she met with a higher sex drive.She know this when she married her husband but it didnt matter cause she loved him but i guess after losing all that weight things changed..Her husband is heartbroken and very depressed over this cause he loved her more then anything and she was his whole life.I feel so sorry for him and i cant believe she did this to such a great guy..They have no kids so and maybe that is a good thing..As his friend what can i do to help him.
2007-01-30 07:52:20 · 24 answers · asked by lauren l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
florida man her weight never bothered him 1 bit. He met her that way and married her that way and never bothered him cause he loved her more then anything
2007-01-30 08:00:20 · update #1
Be there for him when he needs to talk/vent ... encourage him to goto counseling.
2007-01-30 08:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by DQW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing you can do for him is help him see that she is just a woman following her passion. As a woman , as a mother, as a wife, I feel that my life is still worth something and if I was unhappy in a 16 year marriage I would think its time to move on, he needs to do the same but he wont be able to do that if hes fed bull shi* about how poor him, he didnt deserve this. He could spend his whole life dwelling over what he did wrong when what he needs to see is that its a natural process that people move apart over time, especially without having needs met. Its one thing if she was able to adjust to his low drive but as her appetite increased it meant her needs increased and her husband needs to fill those needs or she has the right to have them met somewhere else. This isnt the 40s, 50s anymore, women are going after the things we rightfully deserve every day. We only live once. It is unfortunate when other people get caught in the crossfires when that happens but real love is knowing that everyone evolves, everyone changes. Real love is keeping up with eachother as we move through those processes that are life. Your friend would be better off feeling like what is meant to be will be, you cant change the past, and when one door closes another one opens.
2007-01-30 16:03:07 · answer #2 · answered by Candy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say what you can do to help him, although i know that is what you are asking. The situation is such a shame...i am afraid, having seen similar situations, i know how it will turn out. i am afraid that after a while she might put the weight back on and her new guy won't want her or the "sex drive" thing will get old and she will want her caring man back. i guess what i could suggest is that you make sure that he is prepared to deal with THAT situation...if she wants him back. What will he do now, after she has slept around? Hope that helps. Best wishes!
2007-01-30 16:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by fair blue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will come to realize in time that she was not all that he thought she was. It just takes time. he sounds like a wonderful guy and i am sure he will find someone who will love him as he is. This is not the first case of wife losing weight and leaving her husband i have heard. It is more common than you would think. It is not so much a sex drive thing as her blaming him for what was wrong with her even though it was all on her to begin with.
2007-01-30 16:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is lucky that they have no children. She has a case of "Midlife Crazies" accompanied by the "Look at the New Me Crazies". That can be a deadly combination! If she married too young, she is making up for lost time. Unfortunately, she will probably come crawling back when she discovers what she left. That Mr Horn-dog will not be there to love her through thick and thin.
Be there for him, perhaps tell him to seek a counseling if he gets terribly depressed. Get him on Match.com or something like it. Help him write up his profile and make it fun. Hopefully he will meet someone that appreciates him.
2007-01-30 16:03:55 · answer #5 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not really a lot you can do, you can't get his wife to come back to him. Just be there for him, and listen when he wants to talk. Go out and do things to take his mind off the situation, but mainly, just be a friend. All he can do is remember the good times they had. Try to move on. It's gonna take time but he can do it.
2007-01-30 16:39:28 · answer #6 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him out to meet sum girls and have him listen to the "Tom Likus" talk show he should have access online. But I mean why wouldn't he put out? I wouldn't stay either If i wasn't getting any, but I wouldn't have left 20 years after knowing this, that girl is such a jerk.
2007-01-30 16:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by 00666 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are friends with both of them, please tread carefully. You do not want to be in the middle in any way.
Try to be there to listen to him. Help him see that he is a valuable person and that there would be many women out there who would appreciate him.
Obviously, you don't know all the reasons your best friend left him. There are many reasons couples are not right for each other. Just be a good friend to both of them.
Peace,
debm
2007-01-30 15:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by dam_9191 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say just be friendly and offer a shoulder to cry on. I mean if you are still friends with the other one that could be a fine line their to cross.Maybe this will convince this person to lose weigh and maybe you two where meant to be together. stranger things have happened. just watch Jerry springer
2007-01-30 15:59:21 · answer #9 · answered by dirt77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him and support him. I am guessing his wife was overweight when she married him and felt that was the best she could do and now that she has lost the weight she wants to play the field. He is better off without her and you need to help him see this.
2007-01-30 15:57:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest being there for him when he is down. Be a shoulder for him to lean on. I feel so badly for your friend. It seems like she wanted to flaunt her new body for a cheap trick. I hate that women, and some men, do not honor their marriage vows. I am sorry once you marry it is for life. Anyways, be there for him and let him know that he is better off without her and that you will be there for him no matter what.
2007-01-30 15:59:13 · answer #11 · answered by Krystal L 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋