i am a very loving and passionate woman and my husband jsut the opposite. I miss my ex because he was same as me and I feel i have done some mistake. I can;t go back to ex and my life is empty with my hubby. My hubby makes me laugh and is a very caring person but not what I need in life. i try but the truth is that I miss so much. I have everythng and haev nothing. i think I am simply not attracted to my hubby and there is nothing I am able to do to ignite that passion because I have simply lost hope. Even when i intiate I am turned down and that is make me more away from him. he is simply not a sexual person and I am too passionate, sexual and expressive. What do I do. Divorce is nto an option for me. i have cheated a couple of times but feel guilty after that.
2007-01-30 07:50:28 · 18 answers · asked by wonder 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I may get reported, but I have to say -- you are an awful person. First, you divorce someone who is loving and passionate. Then, you marry a man who is not and then BLAME HIM FOR IT. To top it off, you cheat on him, and then try to excuse your adultery by saying you feel guilty about it. My advice: buy a vibrator and shut up. You've screwed up enough lives already.
2007-01-30 07:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have had problems in my marriage from a difference is sex drive ( my husband having a low one too...) It can be utterly devastating so ignore some of the snide comments. Men can find it very hard to talk about let alone confront. It can make you feel lots of negative emotions; anger, inadequacy, frustration, hopelessness.
I would recommend the following:
- Talk seriously to your husband about the issue, trying to stay calm and get across how it was effecting the marriage.
- It may be a physical problem causing his lack of libido. Would he agree to talk to a doctor? It can really help.
- Get some good vibraters if you haven;t already got them. You don't know what you're missing. Will make you feel less frustrated.
- You have to ask yourself if things don't improve do you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. Is there enough good in the marriage that you can accept he will always be a bit of a cold fish.
I have friends who claim to have great sex but don't trust their husbands ( or are bored by them). I'm sure there are lots of great things you've got together and sex is only one part of the equation. Just try and make things better then if you can't accept it and don't punish yourself or him. I think many people nowadays have this ideal marriage idea based that we are fed by films and TV that just dosn't exist.
Get yourself a plan of action girl, then go for it and live with it. Good luck, you're not alone with this.
2007-01-30 17:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like the saying goes u don't know what u have until its gone. Divorce is not an option of course its an option. U will always have options in life. The best thing to do is to tell your hubby how u feel and see what goes from there. Try and meet someone now that is more on your level.
2007-01-30 16:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by DVD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what you want to do with your realationship. If Divorce is truly not an option maybe you should consult a therapist. If that is not an option, then maybe you need to look at what makes you happy. If this is about the sexual aspect of the realationship then you need to be aware of what it is that you want. Bringing the passion back to a realationship is possible. If you want him to be more interested in you sexually, start ignorng him. Dress up and make your self feel good. Flaunt your sexuality. Make him want to know what you are up too. Maybe even hit up the local adult store and buy a sexual aid for yourself. Silver bullet!!!!!!!! Best on the market. And masturbate in front of him.
2007-01-30 15:59:32 · answer #4 · answered by Tina S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I as a man have exactly the same situation in every way and divorce is not an option. If people like us were together and people like them were together it would work out just fine. I have not found an answer other than to do the same as what you have described.
2007-01-30 16:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by froggyfred3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pardon me for being rather frank with you here. You have several choices here. 1) Divorce, yet you say that's not an option for you, yet actually it is(check the New Testament out if you don't believe me). 2) Counseling for the both of you as long as you BOTH go to it faithfully. 3) As risky as this is, tell him it's okay if he's not feeling experienced enough to satisfy you sexually and that he can learn how to please you by watching you pleasure yourself(Hebrews 13:4). 4) As for the unfaithfulness, well, honesty is the best policy. Although, technically it's the one of two things that he can legitimately use to divorce you for.
2007-01-30 16:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if nothing is an option, then you just have to suck it up and tough it out for the rest of your life. Why did you marry him to begin with? Doesn't he have ANYTHING you could love him for? Anything at all you could enjoy in your life together? Sex is not everything, but if it's THIS important to you, you really need to be looking for a person who is compatible with you in this respect; your husband isn't gonna change out of the blue.
2007-01-30 15:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if divorce isnt an option then just wait it out, eventually you too will feel nothing and be a soulless excuse for a breathing being, feeling neither love or hate, just vague resentment mixed with bitter loneliness.
2007-01-30 16:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by nodumgys 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, honey, you have closed all the roads-- aren't going back to your ex, aren't going to divorce, affairs aren't doing it for you.... That's about all of it, isn't it?????
Short of counseling, there are no roads left. He ain't what you want, and you ain't free to go looking.... oh, well
2007-01-30 16:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told HIM this?? Half the problems people have is because the other doesn't have a clue that there is a problem--
2007-01-30 15:56:11 · answer #10 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋