For men: Do you stay in your marriage just for the sake of your children?

Answer 1

Yes I did until I realized by staying I was doing more harm to the kids than by going.

I was not acting as a good male role model. My pain was causing me to to be as good a father as I could be. I was teaching my daughter that it was OK to abuse men and my sons that it was ok to be abused.

Things are better now and my kids are seeing a healthy relationship, a better father, and a better role model for marriage.

Not to mention a friend telling me about how guilty he felt after finding out that his parents "stayed through living hell just for him and his sister". Major guilt trip that kids don't need.

Answer 2

My parents have been married forever. They had some rough patches...they didn't cheat on each other, but I swear there were moments they wanted to tear each other's eyes out. They spoke, were strong enough to let go of the resentment and felt they should give it a good try before breaking up their family. They are RIDICULOUSLY in love and I can't begin to tell you how sickly sweet they are to each other.

I do think that sometimes, after you try all you can, you have to go your separate ways. The damage you do to the kids could be irreversible if you give them the idea that marriage is about two people going on the attack.

Sometimes, if you give it a good solid go where you still feel something enough to prioritize the 'trying' over everything else, you may be pleasantly surprised. You see my parents today, and you would never guess they wanted to end their marriage once. They are best friends and I believe they are still very attracted to each other.

Answer 3

I know this ain't the answer that a lot of people want to hear. As long as the marriage hasn't deteriorated to the point of violence against each other.

I've met some totally screwed up people. They all had the same problem. Parents split up at a young age.

When adults start talking divorce, it RARELY ever takes into consideration the children's lives. Divorce becomes a selfish act when children are involved.

As adults we need to accept responsibility for our families rather than just being a sperm donor/receiver.

So YES one should stay. However, if you hate your kids and they hate you, you're probably better off out of the picture.

Answer 4

I would not want a man to stay with me for the sake of the kids...that is what child support and visitation rights are for.... I am not promoting divorce I am just giving you your options to pick from....it may be best if the parents argue a lot that one leave because then the children will not have to see or hear what is going on.... good luck!

Answer 5

Getting out of a loveless marriage is the best thing you can do for your kids. You are a HUGE role model. I think it's better for your kids to leave, rather than sticking around and teaching your children that dysfunction is normal. At least if you leave, you will have a chance of meeting someone else who will help in modelling a healthy, loving relationship, which will increase the likelihood of your kids growing up to have loving relationships of their own.

Answer 6

I think you try the very best you can and look for every other option to not break up your family, but there has to be a point where even though you are trying the best for the sake of family, you have to be happy, and it is your right as a human being to be happy. As long as you are a good father when apart, you are doing the right thing.

Answer 7

I will be honest and say that I did so in the past. When I did leave it was difficult for my sons, especially the youngest. I then met and married another women about 5 years later. When I told my kids about it the youngest one became very upset and said that he wanted me back with his mother. Luckily his older bother reminded him of all the fighting and uphappiness that was present while I was with my ex. This helped my younger son release his dreams of his mother and I reuniting. The majority of children that I know do have dreams of their parents reuniting and often need to be reminded that this is not going to happen and reasons explained to them at a level that they can understand, in my opinion anyway.

Answer 8

That would be stupid for a man to do that because it just makes the children grow up unhappy and will have no direction in life to live with two parents that cannot tolerate each other and no longer love each other.What you do in life affects the children and how they turn out in life.

Answer 9

I did for a few years. Then came the time when I had a realization. It was better for my children NOT to see their father being abused and disrespected. That is when I made the decision to leave. I don't know what your situation is, but good luck.

Answer 10

I even have heard alot of human beings say i'm staying with the aid of childrens, yet why might you want your son to stay in an unhappy ecosystem? childrens are smarter then we expect of. i think of they might experience while the folk around them are not happy. i think of two happy separated mom and dad are greater effectual then 2 bitter mom and dad staying jointly. Your son can nonetheless have a father whether you're no longer jointly. i might in no way submit with my husband verbally abusing me. You deserve greater effectual. i might go away no longer in basic terms for myself,yet for my son. he will strengthen up questioning that the way your husband treats you is the way women human beings are to be taken care of, and you do no longer want that to ensue. that is going to likely be stressful for each guy or woman on the beginning up,even though it in basic terms can get greater effectual.