my bf's gramma died yesterday, but we live in arizona and his family lives in michigan, and we live together but the day after we came back from michigan his gramma dies, he's 15 im 14 and we cant get back to his family untll next week when the service is held, hes really sad and he feels guilty cuz he wasnt there, how do i help him feel better, my gramma and grampa hev tried to talk to him, he wont talk alot, but i dont no how to help him
2007-01-30 07:09:47 · 5 answers · asked by koi 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Grief is hard. You need to balance giving him the space he needs (he may feel embarrassed to cry, for example) and showing support.
He will feel guilty... it's natural. You should not try to argue with him ("no, it's not your fault") too much, as he may get mad at you (which he may use as an outlet for his grief). Likewise, you shouldn't "agree" with him (e.g., "you're right, you should have been there").
The best you can do is listen, offer your help (if he wants/needs it). Don't push and let nature take its course. In time, this wound will heal.
However, I can't help but ask: did you say that you and your BF live together? I'm assuming, at 14/15, you don't mean that you are "living together" in THAT way, do you?
The reason I raise this (other than the obvious) is that it suggests that you guys are living a more mature lifestyle than you can handle. If he's away from his family, living (basically) on his own at 15, he's going to have an additional layer of issues to deal with.
I presume, however, that maybe he's living with your parents (sort of like on that show Roseann). If so, seek advise from them, as they are basically acting like his parents. Or, at least, should be.
2007-01-30 07:23:29 · answer #1 · answered by Jay 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
the best thing is for you try to have him talk about good things about his grandma. you should just have him talk about her and how he felt about her (if they were close or what not) and you should just listen. if he finds it hard, then just try to keep him busy for the mean time, but the best thing you can do is let him know that you will lend an ear whenever he does feel like talking about it, because he WILL need to talk sooner or later. it's just too hard to keep feelings this strong held up inside.
2007-01-30 09:16:45 · answer #2 · answered by melloncollieromance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
determine that he's blanketed in communication and that each and every physique of your interest is allotted the two between him and your human beings. determine that he knows or is presented to each physique so he (and that they ) sense greater soft having him around. determine that he feels only as substantial as each and every physique else there if not greater. Brag on him (certainly) in front of yours acquaintances. adult men like to have their egos stroked, distinctly in the presence of others. wish this helps!
2016-11-23 14:25:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will help 4 him to talk but dont force him
2007-01-30 07:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by 707 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him. Don't force him to talk.
2007-01-30 07:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by singledad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋